On a chilly day in October of 1982, I uncovered an alien creature while trying to make an oil well location in Copperhead Hollow, West Virginia. Im not real good at driving a bulldozer but I managed to unearth the turtle shaped creature after he nicely, telepathically, talked me into it! It was a good thing that I liked Sci-Fi or I probably would have gone nuts! The creatures name is Pracon and he is a silicone creature from the Procyon system. I still see him occasionally. Not only did we communicate but before he left me the first time, he touched me mentally or I should say, he shocked me like a freakin electric line, leaving me with knowledge and brain power that I had never felt before. It was like he had supercharged my brain. I suddenly knew things I didnt understand, like images of other aliens, some quite frightening along with their strange dialects and languages. He also left me with a knowledge of the universe that included directions on how to get to different galaxies and planets as well as who lived there, how they lived, and whether they would love me or kill me. I gotta tell you, the nightmares I had for several months afterwards were horrible to say the least, yet nothing like what happened next. Several months did go by, with the nightmares and such. People started talking behind my back that I was possessed for I would sometimes talk to them in Tharx, a truly universal language, and then look at them like I expected them to understand me. Or avoid me when my eyes turned colors and tables and chairs started moving around me. I, myself, often looked into the mirror while shaving and didnt really recognize the person looking back at me. Joan, my girlfriend, my sweetheart, stayed with me through it all, and in the process became part of the bigger picture. Then one day a knock at the door produced a creature that was identical to the geologist I worked with, Rick, only this one wanted me dead. Had I not been on the phone talking to the real Rick, I sure I would have been killed that day and not just shot in the ass. But, using my new found intelligence I was able to paralyze the creature, a thing made of living tissue and metal, and get rid of its head before the damn thing blew up. Yes, it was freaky. And it got freakier. The explosion drew law enforcement officers from all over as well as a group of alien Guardians from the planet Entimall, short, white colored humanoids, who helped me subdue another humanlike creature masquerading this time as a paramedic. Yet their purpose for coming to our planet was not to help save me but to see if I would help them save their own world. By the time they found out I did not know what a Guardian was, I was visited by another creature, an red Altairian, a devilish looking man named Crouthhamel. He was their commander and quickly sent them packing, threatening to remove their sex organs from their chests for their violation of landing here! Ouch! Hes the one who enlisted me by first taking me to the backside of the moon and then sticking a Vega collar on my head. He didnt hurt me with it as its purpose was to educate not punish like some of them can do, he just tested me and taught me until the damn thing started smoking. Pracons imparted knowledge together with my own education and personality must have convinced him I would make a good Guardian for my sector of space. Thats when he gave me my very own spaceship! He didnt really give it to me, more like offered me to it. The ship was actually a living being and quite capable of acting on its own. Unfortunately it was only the second one ever made and, are you ready for this, the first one kinda went nuts so they had to destroy it. As you will see, I probably should have made a note to myself about that. Did it stop me from enlisting,