The history of classical music is littered with murder, sado-masochism, adultery, bigamy, fraud, riches, poverty, nervous breakdowns, bizarre habits, gluttony and terrible, terrible toilet humour (Mozart was the prime exponent of the latter). Classical music, nice? Not at all. It's the most immediate expression of mental and emotional extremes: part deception, sometimes dangerous and frequently a discomforting revelation. Just as the unsuspecting listener makes the connections between classical music and certain states of mind, so "Swooning: A Classical Music Guide to Life, Love, Lust and Other Follies" documents the all-too human flaws in the lives of the great composers by loosely following the sequence of emotions as experienced in a love affair- one that doesn't work out, of course. Anger and Beethoven, sadness and Tchaikovsky, triumph and Wagner, freedom and Mozart...it's all here: a whimsical guide to the conduct of a romance with some handy hints on how to make it more, well harmonious. And more importantly, a greater understanding and love for the music itself that may tempt you to try out the odd concerto or symphony as well. The orchestra has tuned, the lights in the hall have dimmed, and the conductor's baton signals the downbeat for the beginning of the romance. Settle back - it's telling you something...