The Gospel of John is a complex and intriguing testament, written on multiple symbolic levels—but it tells a very human story. Jesus was fallible; he made errors of judgement and found his plans scuppered more than once. In this gospel he is not divine and there are no miracles; every aspect of the text was written with both a theological and a mundane intended meaning. The significance of the former outweighed that of the latter for Lazarus, who found some aspects of the movement difficult to chronicle. The gospel thus contains secrets—hidden knowledge—but the keys for unlocking these secrets are provided for those who seek them. That others have discovered this version of the Gospel of John is evident in works of art and literature over the centuries, as elements of the ‘heretical’ story were hidden within their masterpieces; a 16th-century painting and the legends of King Arthur are discussed as examples. The Testament of Lazarus reveals that: ⸙ Jesus was a Samaritan by blood ⸙ His goal was to return a purified Israel to Shiloh, Samaria ⸙ He was married with grown children ⸙ His relationship with John was not what we think ⸙ Mary and Lazarus were central to Jesus’ plan ⸙ Peter was jealous, ambitious, and scheming ⸙ Jesus was held responsible for violence that got many killed ⸙ Pilate crucified another ‘disciple’ out of spite ⸙ Jesus survived the cross for a short time ⸙ Lazarus, Mary, and the son of Jesus were the real “Holy Family” Janet Tyson has an MA in Biblical Studies and was a T&M Wagner Foundation Graduate Fellow (UBC, Canada). She is the author of She Brought the Art of Women: A Song of Solomon, Nabonidus, and the Goddess.