London, 2006...Jack Woodfield had it sorted; brains, brawn, and sightly bulges. Working in a swank City firm, he's a modern man with a barrow boy's legacy best left behind. Jack's ditched West Ham United, Barking market, and especially his belligerent brother Jamie, not to mention their family's foolish talk of frisky phantoms; any gossip about great-uncles and their paranormal romances, 'entities from Essex', 'nasty nuns', or 'doomed debutantes' were cobblers as far as Jack was concerned. But over Jack's shoulder lurked his hell-raising cousin, Hayden 'the lad' Woodfield, the willing slave of the family's sinister familiar 'Minty Hardcore'; this naughty nun's preternatural predilection for burly ex-barrow boys seems to have screwed up Jack's prospects for promotion and a cosmopolitan, politically correct existence rather royally...And now 'Minty Hardcore' is preparing for the endgame, recreating all the fun and festivities of the age-old Barking Fair, when men were men and debutantes were delighted! She's sent Hayden to seek out Jamie, issuing him a summons on which the fate of the boy's battered manhood depends! With his dander up, Hayden and his trusty baseball bat also proceeded to pummel Jack's politically correct LSE pal David into submission. Did David survive? Will Minty Hardcore rip reality asunder, and plunge Barking and Dagenham into a testosterone-driven time-warp?! And can the family exorcise her before the whole of London follows suit?!