Everything you need to know about fatherhood -- but were afraid to ask!. Why are all parenting books directed at mommies? Daddies need help, too. In fact, when you think about it, they may need more help than their naturally maternal mates do. They need guidance, comfort, and validation. They probably also need a good night's sleep, and they definitely need a good laugh. What the Heck Were You Expecting? provides month-by-month counsel for the spit-up covered, the sleep deprived, and the just plain peek-a-booed out, including such subjects as:What your wife might be complaining about (. . . anything she can think of) What your above-average child may be doing (. . . paying attention to small objects) What you might be concerned about (. . . the meaning of life) A couple of things to say to let her know that you're caring, sensitive, and up on the required reading (. . . "Listen to this one: Statistics show that attendance at work is better among married men with children and spikes even higher among fathers of newborns. Quite a coincidence, huh?") Thomas Hill, registered father and author of the best-selling What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding, answers every father's questions about: ESPN as Edu-tainment Horsy Knee Burn Zen and the Art of Spoon-feeding Basics of Crib Assembly Nap Time . . . and How to Hide It from Your Boss . . .among other topics.