In this humorous mashup of cozy mystery, science fiction, and space adventure, national bestselling author Diane Vallere sends you out of this world alongside the uniform lieutenant on an intergalactic cruise...and a dead body, and plenty of suspects!
SET PHASERS TO FUN!
I had no business being here (unless you count aspirations and dreams). The career that once felt within my reach—cruise ship security—disappeared the day my dad was arrested for collusion with some shady people. Since then, I've been running the ice mine (begrudgingly) for my mom, both of us social pariahs in our community. But everything changed when the cruise ship's uniform lieutenant position opened up days before departure. It might sound shady, but I immediately uploaded bogus credentials onto the crew manifest to give me the job. Now to just lay low, do my job, and impress the captain.
My plan was fine. Or, it would have been if I hadn't found a body in the uniform inventory closet after departure. Reporting it meant drawing attention to myself, the very opposite of laying low. When the head of security showed up to investigate, he threw me into the cruise ship's holding cell and my onboard status shifted from staff to prisoner. If I can’t expose the killer myself, I'll be bunking with my dad at the local space prison.
Get ready for an extraterrestrial adventure that will have you on the edge of your seat with MURDER ON A MOON TREK! In this mind-bending outer space cozy mystery, follow the journey of Sylvia Stryker, a witty and unconventional half-human, half-alien hybrid, as she hacks her way into a job as uniform lieutenant aboard the Moon Unit, a luxurious space cruise ship traversing the starry expanse of the with her striking purple complexion and a knack for all things tech, is determined to prove her worth. But her aspirations take an unexpected turn when a crew member is found lifeless, and Sylvia becomes the prime suspect in the murder. With her future on the line, she must rely on her quick thinking and formidable hacking skills to unravel the Neptune, the hunky and enigmatic head of security aboard the Moon Unit who might be her biggest ally—if he'd stop trying to lock her away in the ship's holding cell. Adding to the mix is Sylvia's insufferably nasty boss and a stowaway alien with an insatiable curiosity. As Sylvia navigates the maze of clues and suspects, she must confront her own insecurities and prove that her purple skin doesn't define her worth. Can she uncover the truth behind the murder before the real culprit strikes again?
In MURDER ON A MOON TREK author Diane Vallere weaves a captivating tale of intergalactic intrigue that will keep you guessing until the final page. With a cast of vibrant characters, including the ever-doomed "red shirts" and the mischievous Martians, this outer space cozy mystery is a delightful blend of humor, suspense, and otherworldly charm. Brace yourself for a cosmic adventure unlike any other!
Previously published as FLY ME TO THE MOON.
“Although I like to watch sci-fi, I'm not much into reading it, with a few exceptions. This book was one of those exceptions. It's as if Star Trek married a cozy...very well done! Read and enjoy!” – Reader
"This is where Diane Vallere shines -- giving you the unexpected and yet exactly what you didn't even know you wanted. A galaxy of stars to the author!” -- Reader
Read the whole Sylvia Stryker series today!
1. Murder on a Moon Trek
2. Scandal on a Moon Trek
3. Hijacked on a Moon Trek
4. Framed on a Moon Trek
Is it a cozy mystery set in space, or an outer space with a cozy mystery? You decide!
"I loved how Vallere combined science fiction, mystery, drama, and humor making this book very enjoyable and hard to put down." – Reader
“I can't recommend this book enough to readers of any age or sex. It is a murder mystery. It is a spy story. It is a futuristic science fiction story. It is pure genius and entertaining from start to finish.” - Reader
CHAPTER ONE EXCERPT:
When Moon Unit 5 kicked off its inaugural trip from my home planet of Plunia, I expected the uniform closet to be stuffed to capacity. I just hadn’t expected it to be stuffed with a body. But here we were, light years from the space station where we’d departed, and instead of a closet of freshly laundered uniforms, I had a dead man. No matter how thoroughly I'd planned for today, I never could have planned for this.
Maybe he wasn’t dead. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he’d had a late night partying before today’s departure and crawled into my uniform closet to take a nap.
As unlikely as that explanation was, I wasn’t yet willing to accept the more probable reality. I knelt next to him and checked for a pulse on the side of his neck. His skin was cold to the touch, which was either due to his not-alive state or the twenty-degree difference between earthling temperatures (his) and Plunian temperatures (mine). In this case, it was both. No pulse, no breathing. A Code Blue.
Moon Unit Corporation ran a fleet of cruise spaceships whose mission was to provide relaxing getaways to one of our galaxy’s moons. Ever since I’d learned they were reopening after years of inactivity, I’d fantasized about working for them. The fact that I’d hacked my records into their system was a minor technicality. My job was to manage the uniforms during the moon trek, and as long as I did my job and avoided ship security, my fantasy would become a reality. But this was bigger than managing uniforms. Regardless of the risks to me, I had to contact the bridge.
I could send a general message over the staff communication network. I stepped away from the pile of spilled uniforms and shifted to the computer that sat above the console in the middle of the room. It was standard issue, a flat black folio with colorful buttons and a low-definition screen. Only the top members of the ship and paying passengers were given high-def equipment. For the rest of us, it was the bare minimum, Moon Unit Corporation’s way of making sure distractions didn’t surround us. To the right side of the computer was a clear plastic dome that protected a shiny red button that, despite learning about during emergency protocol training, I’d hoped never to have to use.
This was a button message.
I flipped the dome up and pressed the button. “Uniform Ward to the bridge. Lieutenant Sylvia Stryker reporting. There’s a situation in my ward.”
“What kind of situation?” asked a female voice. It sounded like my immediate supervisor, Yeoman D’Nar. There was no official reason for her to be on the bridge during departure, but senior officers of the ship were given an open invitation to witness the launch with Captain Swift. D’Nar was exactly the type to insert herself where she wasn’t wanted.
“I’m pretty sure it’s a Code Blue.” Pretty sure? I was completely sure. There was no doubt I was looking at a Code Blue.
“Don’t be reckless. A Code Blue is serious. I think you made a mistake.”
I bristled at her accusation but kept my voice in check. “It’s not a mistake. I memorized the codes last night.”
“I don’t think you have a Code Blue. Check the BOP and report in as applicable.”
The BOP—Book of Protocols—was a 237-page manual that outlined the proper method for handling everything from hydrating vacuum-packed meals to subordination expectations between low-level officers and high-ranking ones. Every ship in the galaxy had a BOP. Crew members were expected to know the rules and regulations of the ship, but the BOP existed as a backup when something unexpected happened.
I picked up a small hand mirror from the nearby uniform alterations station and held it in front of the officer’s mouth. No condensation.
Code Blue, alright.
I hadn’t been lying about having memorized the list of codes from the BOP. I’d bought a used copy of an old Book of Protocols from the black market and studied it from cover to cover. No doubt it was outdated. The Moon Units 1-3 had had their share of trouble, and the problems with the Moon Unit 4 were still classified, but I had to start somewhere.
I flipped through the pages of the Moon Unit 5 BOP, looking for an updated list of warning codes. Because my knowledge had come from the old BOP, I’d created a finding tool: a cross-reference of everything in the old manual and where to find it in the new one. I’d also had a copy of the BOP made and organized it the way I would if I were in charge of ship security.
Someday, I would be. When people stopped judging me by what my dad had done before they arrested him and took him away.
But today wasn’t someday, and even though the bridge blew off my call, I still had a problem that had nothing to do with uniform management.
I studied the deceased officer. Who was he? A quick assessment of his uniform indicated his position and rank: red shirt, two bands circling his cuff, standard issue black pants, and gravity boots. Second navigation officer of Moon Unit 5.
There were no visible wounds to indicate how he’d died. He wasn’t wearing an air purification helmet like I was, so I disconnected my inhalation tube from the oxygen tank under my uniform, held the tube in front of his mouth, and sniffed. Cherries and menthol. I reconnected the tube and then put my hand under his chin and opened his mouth wide. His tongue had a stripe of bright red down the middle like he’d been sucking on a throat lozenge. It was common practice among crew members during takeoff because frequent swallowing kept ears from plugging up.
“What are you doing?” said a voice behind me. I turned my head and bumped my protective fiberglass bubble helmet on the closet door. My helmet bounced off the surface. I blinked a few times and then looked up.
Uh-oh.
Even if I’d been face to face with the man in the uniform ward, he would have towered over me. He had a bald head and dark, pointed eyebrows that shielded dark eyes. Long, straight nose and lips that were drawn in a line and turned down on the sides. His arms crossed in front of his body, and his biceps bulged below the hem of the short sleeves of his dark blue jumpsuit.
My mind flashed over a series of facts and images I’d memorized before my official first day, and I reached one conclusion. This man was from the maintenance crew. My know-it-all boss must have told him I called in the wrong code and sent him here to clean up whatever mess I’d caused.
“I’m Sylvia Stryker. I spoke with Yeoman D’Nar about a Code Blue. Did she send you?”
He looked over my shoulder at the body. “Move,” he said.
I stood quickly. The action triggered a bout of vertigo. I put my hand on my counter just behind where I’d left the open Book of Protocols. Yikes! If this guy saw that I’d torn apart and rearranged the protocol manual, he’d report me to ship security without a second thought. I moved a few inches to the left and turned around to block his view of the counter.
“They must have notified you. You’re with maintenance, right?”
His expression didn’t change. “I haven’t heard anything about a Code Blue.”
“Oh.” I looked over my shoulder to where I’d moved the body. “Maybe the bridge was busy with takeoff.”
Unlike my uniform, the muscular man’s didn’t have the Moon Unit insignia—a silver number 5 surrounded by circles on their axis like the rings around Saturn, all contained in an orange patch edged in black thread. It was the same insignia on my ID card and woven into the carpet in the employee lounge and on the cover of the BOP and every single uniform in the inventory closet. But it wasn’t on him.
Still, the deceased officer deserved to be in a more honorable location than the inventory closet and I needed help moving him. But since there was the tiniest chance that ship security would uncover the fact that I hadn’t indeed been hired through proper channels and might be viewed as a stowaway on board the ship, I’d planned to lay low until we’d cleared the breakaway point in our moon trek. Maybe Yeoman D’Nar’s lack of urgency was a blessing in disguise.
“He’s dead,” I said.
“How?”
“I don’t know. He was inside the uniform closet when I got here. I checked for a pulse but couldn’t find it.”
“You need to notify the bridge.”
“Well, duh,” I said. “I probably know the ship protocols better than you do. I contacted the bridge and told Yeoman D’Nar I had a Code Blue, but she didn’t believe me.” I looked at the body over the large man’s shoulder. “Can you help me move him? I have to prep for departure, and I can’t do that while he’s blocking my inventory.”
The man’s back was to me, but he turned his head to the side so I could see his profile. His eyebrow raised again. He slipped his arms under the officer’s neck and knees and then stood up and lifted him like he was lifting a bag of potatoes. Plunia was filled with potato farms, and when I wasn’t working in the ice mines with my mom, I’d often played in the potato fields. I was pretty sure Plunian potatoes weighed a lot less than the second nav officer.
The maintenance man set the body on the reclining bench alongside the inside wall of the uniform ward. He draped a dressing gown over him, covering his face and red shirt. The dressing gown was only so long, though, so the officer’s bottom half still showed.
“Your ward is off limits,” the maintenance man said.
“No!” I said. “I mean, this is my job on the ship. I expect today to be slow because everybody is probably wearing their best uniform, but still, if I don’t open the uniform ward, the crew will ask questions.”
“Do you have something to hide?” he asked.
I crossed my arms over my magenta uniform. “You ask a lot of questions for a janitor.”
He seemed surprised, and then his lips pressed together, and the corners of his mouth turned up. “Why do you think I’m the janitor?”
“I don’t recognize your uniform, and I know all the different ones on the ship. The only people on the ship wearing uniforms that don’t come from my ward are the janitorial crew.”
The cabin doors swished open and a man in gray walked in. “Neptune, Captain Swift is waiting for you in engineering. He says the crack isn’t sealed.”
“Neptune?” I asked. I looked back and forth between the new guy and the one who’d been asking all the questions. “I thought Neptune was the head of Moon Unit security division?”
“I am,” the original man said.
Oh, no. I’d heard about Neptune. He was the one person I’d been hoping to avoid.
“Although Sci-fi isn't generally my choice of reads, I gave it a try simply because the author was Diane Vallere….I'm so glad I did….Just as you would expect, this is a totally FUN murder mystery that doesn't disappoint!” – Reader
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National bestselling author Diane Vallere writes funny and fashionable character-based mysteries. After two decades working for a top luxury retailer, she traded fashion accessories for accessories to murder. A past president of Sisters in Crime, Diane started her own detective agency at age ten and has maintained a passion for shoes, clues, and clothes ever since.
Diane-Fans describe “her vintage Vallere goodness,” and say she is a “great storyteller” with “a way with creating strong female characters and intrigue” who is “a superb and very humorous writer.” Her gift of creating “spunky sleuths in fun settings” take readers to Dallas, Palm Springs, Los Angeles, Pennsylvania, and outer space.
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ADDITIONAL BOOKS BY DIANE:
Samantha Kidd Mysteries (funny, fashion-y mysteries with many mentions of pretzels)
Designer Dirty Laundry
Buyer, Beware
The Brim Reaper
Some Like It Haute
Grand Theft Retro
Pearls Gone Wild
Cement Stilettos
Panty Raid
Union Jacked
Slay Ride
Tough Luxe
Fahrenheit 501
Stark Raving Mod
Gilt Trip
Madison Night Mad for Mod Mysteries (cozy/traditional mysteries winking at Doris Day movies)
Midnight Ice (Prequel)
Pillow Stalk
That Touch of Ink
With Vics you get Eggroll
The Decorator Who Knew Too Much
The Pajama Frame
Lover Come Hack
Apprehend Me No Flowers
Teacher's Threat
The Kill of it All
Love Me or Grieve Me
Please Don't Push Up the Daisies
Material Witness Mysteries (cozy)
Suede to Rest
Crushed Velvet
Silk Stalkings
Tulle Death Do Us Part
Costume Shop Mysteries (cozy)
A Disguise to Die For
Masking for Trouble
Dressed to Confess
