This is the diary of Jennifer James.

It contains:

One Heroine: Jennifer James, burdened by brains, struggling to release her Inner Babe

One High School: London Road Comprehensive, a no-hope English school in a no-hope English town

One Prize: A scholarship to the elite St. Willibald's College [Jennifer's idea of Paradise] offered to the winner of a tacky reality TV show, Down The Bog

and . . .

A Thousand Complications: Like Jocasta, the crazy feminist mother; Tallulah, the blond rival from hell; Marcus, the guy with green eyes; and above all, the actual real reality that Jennifer's chances of winning are less than Mega-Zero. . . .