Rohan Candappa's Books

Growing Old Disgracefully

How to upset and perplex your children with increasingly erratic and unreasonable behaviour

By: Rohan Candappa

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Growing Old Disgracefully

How to upset and perplex your children with increasingly erratic and unreasonable behaviour

By: Rohan Candappa

Does your mother think it's really charming to talk to every rose bush on the street? Has your father taken up obsessive fundraising for a donkey sanctuary on retirement? Does he collect elastic bands because 'you never know when you'll need one'? Do your parents make jokes about sheltered housing? Have they guessed that you've already sent off for the brochures? Do they seem to be having too much fun for a couple with two fake hips, a pacemaker and three steel pins between them? Then you need Rohan Candappa. The man who bought you The Little Book of Stress, The Little Book of Wrong Shui and The Autobiography of a One Year Old has hit the nail on the head once more. Full of wit and wisdom, Rohan will give you a much needed laugh in the face of your parents' increasingly barmy behaviour. Just one thing, you'll probably find your parents have bought it too. And they'll probably think its really funny.

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Page Count

194

Publisher

Random House

Published Date

ISBN 10

1407079476

ISBN 13

9781407079479

University Challenged

By: Rohan Candappa

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University Challenged

By: Rohan Candappa

Going to college or university can be a daunting experience. There are so many new experiences to try, so many new responsibilities to handle. What you really need is a best friend who'll show you the ropes, hold your hand and make sure you get to your lectures on time...This book, unfortunately, isn't that friend. This book, even more unfortunately, is more akin to the kind of mate who doesn't get up till half past two, nicks your food from the fridge and when you're both well wasted at some awful party you've gate crashed convinces you that Malibu, cider and Worcestershire sauce is a real cocktail. Frankly, if you have even the slightest ambition to emerge from your time in 'higher' education with any kind of qualification whatsoever, it's best that you stop reading now. If however, you insist on perusing the wisdom contained within this thoroughly disreputable tome, then please note that the author accepts no responsibility for the fact that you'll get a crap qualification, your parents will disown you and your subsequent career will go nowhere. But all that lies way off in the future. So let's talk about Freshers Week...

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Random House

Published Date

ISBN 10

1407081195

ISBN 13

9781407081199

Autobiography of a One-Year-Old

By: Rohan Candappa

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Autobiography of a One-Year-Old

By: Rohan Candappa

“I am a one-year-old and this is my autobiography....” Have you ever looked at your baby and wondered what he or she is thinking? Are you ready to find out? “I thought it was about time someone told it like it is. So I’m spilling the beans on the world of a one-year-old. A world where you’re left in the charge of totally inept parents. Where everything’s at completely the wrong height. Where you’re not allowed to splash in the bath but you are in the pool. Where nobody understands a single word you say. And where diapers and poop loom large at every turn. “It’s a roller-coaster ride through one heck of a year. I’ve laughed a lot, I’ve cried a lot, I’ve learned a lot. And so will you. You might even discover the answer to that age-old question: Humpty Dumpty — did he fall or was he pushed? “Anyway, must run. I see a bowl of tepid gloop is being spooned out for me. What joy.” Welcome to the wonderful world of your one-year-old.

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Page Count

290

Publisher

Bantam

Published Date

ISBN 10

055338130X

ISBN 13

9780553381306

Picklehead

From Ceylon to suburbia; a memoir of food, family and finding yourself

By: Rohan Candappa

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Picklehead

From Ceylon to suburbia; a memoir of food, family and finding yourself

By: Rohan Candappa

Rohan Candappa, author of bestselling humour books such as the Little Book of Stress and The Curious Incident of the Weapons of Mass Destruction, is the son of a Sri Lankan father and Burmese mother. He grew up small and round in South London, riding his chopper bike and supporting Leeds United. But every day his mother would conjur delicious meals out of thin air. His father cooked too, with fiery flavourings, black curries and green coriander chutneys. Their home became the focus for family gatherings and feasts of such delicacy and exoticism that you'd never have known Norwood lay outside the window. Yet somewhere in his twenties Rohan forgot his culinary heritage and it wasn't until he was bringing up his own young family that he began to think more about his identity as a second generation immigrant and the binding, identifying power of the family meal caught his imagination. And so he began this beautifully written, funny, poignant memoir of his heritage and his home. Of curry leaves and curried chips. Hot chillis and hot dogs. Pataks and Heinz. About the past and the present - and the place where time should cease to matter... the family kitchen.

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Page Count

322

Publisher

Random House

Published Date

ISBN 10

1407081349

ISBN 13

9781407081342

The Retox Diet

By: Rohan Candappa

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The Retox Diet

By: Rohan Candappa

In the spirit of his best-selling humor titles The Little Book of Stress and The Little Book of Wrong Shui, Rohan Candappa brings us The Retox Diet. It's the only diet book you'll ever need-the only diet you will ever stick to. Let us be absolutely clear. The Retox Diet won't help you lose weight, get fit, or develop a healthy lifestyle. It is jam-packed with bad advice such as Each day aim to eat at least five portions of chocolate, and Guys, we're all going to die. Is eighty years of breakfasting on Bran Flakes really that much better than seventy years of eggs and bacon? No, it won't help you shed pounds, but it's much more fun than whatever diet craze is sweeping the nation. How many calories can you burn from shaking with laughter? On second thought, The Retox Diet just might help you lose weight after all!

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Page Count

180

Publisher

Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published Date

ISBN 10

0740754637

ISBN 13

9780740754630

Growing Old Disgracefully

How to Upset and Perplex Your Children with Increasingly Erratic and Unreasonable Behavior

By: Rohan Candappa

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Growing Old Disgracefully

How to Upset and Perplex Your Children with Increasingly Erratic and Unreasonable Behavior

By: Rohan Candappa

Where's the fun in growing old gracefully? Humorist Rohan Candappa believes it's "far better to put your name down for a course of bad behavior, irresponsibility, and questionable fashion choices. And anything that winds your kids up must be worth having a crack at." Embarrassing and exasperating your kids doesn't have to stop when they become adults and move out of the house. Rohan points out that "If life begins at forty, then a sixty-year-old is not yet twenty-one. And think how much mayhem still lay ahead of you at that age. Act accordingly."Growing Old Disgracefully offers hundreds of pointers for making your sunset years seem like the dawn of your existence. Here are just a few: * Advice on dressing well: Lycra is always a good bet. Fluorescent Lycra, ideally. * Looking younger: Forget dieting, exercise, and plastic surgery. Instead, tell people you're fifteen years older than you are. * Confusing young 'uns: On a crowded bus or train, offer your seat to someone obviously much younger than you. * The best anti-aging cream: Ice cream! What other food makes you feel like you're eight years old again? * Making grandchildren your allies: Buy them presents that their parents have (sensibly) refused to buy them.Growing Old Disgracefully serves up plenty of irreverent fun for everyone (except your children).

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Page Count

212

Publisher

Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published Date

ISBN 10

0740741683

ISBN 13

9780740741685

One Hundred Wishes

By: Rohan Candappa

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One Hundred Wishes

By: Rohan Candappa

I wish you the warmth of the beds that you slept in as a child."Don't you wish the very best for your loved ones? In his newest book, One Hundred Wishes, best-selling author Rohan Candappa shares one hundred blessings he wishes upon his favorite people. One Hundred Wishes captures the wisdom and wit of Candappa's spectacularly successful Little Book of Stress while perfectly blending a bit of whimsy. With this beautifully packaged gift book you can bestow a multitude of good wishes upon any special person in your life. * I wish that no one ever makes you eat brussels sprouts. * I wish you words that make you smile like squelch, flange, and jojoba. * I wish you the wisdom to listen to the inarticulate. * I wish that in restaurants you always choose the meal that everyone else wishes they'd ordered. * I wish that your dealings with lawyers are mercifully brief. * I wish you friends who love you for who you are. Whether it's a birthday, graduation, anniversary, or other well-wishing occasion, One Hundred Wishes is the gift book to tell someone you love that you wish them the very best.

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Page Count

114

Publisher

Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published Date

ISBN 10

0740750186

ISBN 13

9780740750182

One Hundred Birthday Wishes

By: Rohan Candappa

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One Hundred Birthday Wishes

By: Rohan Candappa

A brand new concept from the bestselling author of THE LITTLE BOOK OF STRESS. A gift book with real meaning and charm.Rohan Candappa's 100 BIRTHDAY WISHES is illustrated with charmingly funny black and white photography and the wry, gently inspirational captions will put a smile on even the grumpiest old boy's face.With Rohan Candappa's beautifully packaged, affordable little book you can wish your mum, dad, friend or partner a multitude of good things from wish no 31- 'I wish you a good plumber and a reliable builder' to wish no 41- 'I wish you a Dennis Bergkamp goal, a Nina Simone song and a glass of Sangiovese,' and wish no 65- 'I wish you the abandon to dance badly at weddings

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Page Count

116

Publisher

Ebury Press

Published Date

ISBN 10

0091896940

ISBN 13

9780091896942

One Hundred Wishes

By: Rohan Candappa

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One Hundred Wishes

By: Rohan Candappa

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114

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Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published Date

ISBN 10

0740750186

ISBN 13

9780740750182

Autobiography of a One-Year-Old

By: Rohan Candappa

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Autobiography of a One-Year-Old

By: Rohan Candappa

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290

Publisher

Bantam

Published Date

ISBN 10

0307481778

ISBN 13

9780307481771

Slow-Cooked Thoughts

Articles, Talks, Essays, One Old Poem, and Two Tales

By: Rohan de Soysa

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Slow-Cooked Thoughts

Articles, Talks, Essays, One Old Poem, and Two Tales

By: Rohan de Soysa

Human life on the earth has taken an exacting toll on the planet. Climate is changing, biodiversity is declining, and our children’s futures are in jeopardy. So what can we do, today, to reverse these trends and rediscover the value of our planet? Slow-Cooked Thoughts is an eclectic and thought-provoking collection of talks, essays, and articles, including an account of an overland trip and two tales of life seen from the perspective of nonhuman life-forms. Running through the book is a common thread of concern for the environment, an appreciation for the arts, and rather idealistic ideas on simple ways of reversing the damage caused to the environment. Author Rohan de Soysa shows how this mindset is needed in the future so that we can achieve a balanced environment suitable for all life-forms, including human beings. Preserving our air, water, soil, plants, animals, and the ecosystem as a whole is what is of real value. In order to realize a truly sustainable future, we must begin to respect other forms of life and, most importantly, the environment on which their survival depends.

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Page Count

140

Publisher

Partridge Publishing Singapore

Published Date

ISBN 10

1543747949

ISBN 13

9781543747942

The Book of Christmas Stress

By: Rohan Candappa

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The Book of Christmas Stress

By: Rohan Candappa

Deck the halls with bows of holly - tis the season to be jolly...." Oh really? Face the facts, Christmas is the central festivity of our over indulgent lives because beneath the surface gloss it is, in essence, a celebration of stress. Not enough money, not enough time, not enough chairs for everyone to sit on. Too many presents to get, to many relatives to invite, too many things to get into the oven at the same time. So I urge you to wake up and smell the turkey curry and do all that you can to encourage the generation of stress both in yourself and in those around you this Festering Season with Rohan Candappa's hysterically funny account of the true meaning of Christmas! Remember that the farther you have to travel on Christmas Day, the more likely you are to argue. Plan your day accordingly. At selectred moments try tospoil everyone's Christmas Day by bringing religion into it. Watch the Christmas edition of Top of the Pops. Lament the lack of realy songs/tunes/stars. Then contemplate the fact that you've turned into your dad/mum!

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Page Count

192

Publisher

Vintage

Published Date

ISBN 10

0091894565

ISBN 13

9780091894566

The Parent's Survival Handbook

By: Rohan Candappa

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The Parent's Survival Handbook

By: Rohan Candappa

Why did no one warn me?' cry new parents. 'It's a conspiracy'. Rohan knows why. Because your average Mum and Dad are far too bloody tired to worry about anyone else. Luckily Rohan likes Pro-Plus and strong coffee and he summoned just enough energy, at the end of looking after small tyrants all day, to write this brilliantly pithy, scorchingly funny book on how to survive life with young children. Don't worry, this is a parenting book with a difference - he's on your side. Here's Rohan on Dummies: Damned if you do, damned if you don't On Sleeping Patterns: Yeah right And with a Word of Warning about Bouncy Castles: The smaller the child, the higher they go.

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Page Count

196

Publisher

Ebury Press

Published Date

ISBN 10

0091885280

ISBN 13

9780091885281

The Curious Incident of the WMD in Iraq

By: Rohan Candappa

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The Curious Incident of the WMD in Iraq

By: Rohan Candappa

Can be read in forty-five minutes: the memoirs of a Prime Minister with Asperger's Syndrome who thinks it is a good idea to launch a war in Iraq. 'Alistair said I should write something I would want to read myself. And I thought about that. I thought that this was good advice. Alistair is always full of good advice. That's why I like him. That and his socks. The book I would most like to read about is myself. And about my place in history. When I told this to Alistair he smiled. And then he said that the book would need an angle. Something that would catch the reader's imagination. Something that would intrigue them. Something that would "sex it up". So I said what about WMD. And Alistair smiled again. But this time it was a slightly different smile.' The Curious Incident of the WMD is a mystery like no other. The detective, and narrator, is Anthony Algernon St. Michael Blair, the Prime Minister of Britain. He knows a great deal about New Labour, sound bites and why he makes a good leader and very little about the history of Iraq. He loves cheese and hates Gordon Brown. He discovers what he thinks is the central mystery and sets out to investigate it, but subsequently discovers a deception which leaves him forever linked in an uneasy triangle with a stumbling, inarticulate US president and a genocidal dictator.

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Page Count

181

Publisher

Profile Books(GB)

Published Date

ISBN 10

1861979002

ISBN 13

9781861979001

One Hundred Birthday Wishes

By: Rohan Candappa

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One Hundred Birthday Wishes

By: Rohan Candappa

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Page Count

116

Publisher

Ebury Press

Published Date

ISBN 10

0091896940

ISBN 13

9780091896942

Picklehead

From Ceylon to suburbia; a memoir of food, family and finding yourself

By: Rohan Candappa

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Picklehead

From Ceylon to suburbia; a memoir of food, family and finding yourself

By: Rohan Candappa

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Page Count

322

Publisher

Random House

Published Date

ISBN 10

1407081349

ISBN 13

9781407081342

The Little Book of Christmas Stress

By: Rohan Candappa

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The Little Book of Christmas Stress

By: Rohan Candappa

In his first book, The Little Book of Stress, Rohan Candappa taught us how to add more stress to our lives. In The Little Book of Christmas Stress, Rohan applies this teaching to the holiday season. After all, Christmas is the year's most important celebration of stress! Not enough money, not enough time, not enough chairs for everyone to sit on. Too many presents to get, too many relatives to invite, too many things to get into the oven at the same time. Christmas is an endurance test in stress. But thank goodness Rohan Candappa is here to help with this little bit of advice: Embrace the true meaning of Christmas, and do all you can to encourage the generation of stress in yourself and those around you this Festering Season! If you're not sure how to get started, Rohan offers a long list of suggestions. For example, unrealistic expectations are always a winner at Christmas. Try to encourage as many of them as you possibly can. Or on visits to friends or relatives, shake their Christmas trees vigorously when no one is looking. And at selected moments try to spoil everyone's Christmas Day by bringing religion into it. And what would Christmas be without children? Delight your friends and relatives by secretly teaching their young children rude versions of Christmas carols. In addition, make sure any children you encounter understand that the true meaning of Christmas is to get as many presents as possible. A how-to guide for infusing the holidays with extra touches of aggravation, this funny Little Book might be the only laugh you get in December!

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Page Count

228

Publisher

Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published Date

ISBN 10

0740746839

ISBN 13

9780740746833

Rules Britannia

The 101 Essential Questions of Britishness Answered - from How to Keep a Stiff Upper Lip to Who Ate All the Pies

By: ROHAN. CANDAPPA

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Rules Britannia

The 101 Essential Questions of Britishness Answered - from How to Keep a Stiff Upper Lip to Who Ate All the Pies

By: ROHAN. CANDAPPA

What exactly does it mean to be British? Forget the official Citizenship Test, what do newcomers really need to understand to be part of this Great Nation? Does it involve wearing plastic Union Jack bowler hats? Perhaps sinking a tankard of ale? In these confused multicultural times it's difficult to know... Well, fear not, because Rules Britannia is here to answer the 101 Essential Questions of Britishness - from the straightforward ('What is the point of the Boat Race?') to the historical ('Why couldn't the Daleks conquer the universe?'); the metaphysical ('Who is the "one" who has been barred from "All Bar One"?') to the totally unfathomable ('Elizabeth Hurley. Explain.'). Within the wisdom-packed pages of this seminal tome you'll also discover how Tim Henman can be both a hero and a villain, why a stiff upper-lip is treated as a source of pride rather than a facial condition, and why custard and gravy - the two key lubricants of a frankly limited cuisine - are locked in a yin-and-yang like struggle for dominance which neither can ever win. Written with an absurd, off-beat sense of humour, bestselling author Rohan Candappa both sends up and celebrates our Sceptered Isle. And, after all, what could be more British than an absurd, off-beat sense of humour?

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Page Count

288

Publisher

Ebury Press

Published Date

ISBN 10

1785038133

ISBN 13

9781785038136

The Little Book of Wrong Shui

How to Drastically Improve Your Life by Basically Moving Stuff Around - Honest

By: Rohan Candappa

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The Little Book of Wrong Shui

How to Drastically Improve Your Life by Basically Moving Stuff Around - Honest

By: Rohan Candappa

Feng Shui, the ancient Chinese art of organising your home and workspace to improve your health and wealth, continues to feature strongly in books, magazines and on television, but not many people know of its equally ancient counterpart, Wrong Shui. Rohan Candappa has spent many years studying the principles of Wrong Shui at the feet of a master and now shares his knowledge with us. In The Little Book of Wrong Shui he continues his mission to point out how we add stress and disharmony to our lives. Helpful advice includes how to encourage conversation at dinner parties by always having one fewer chair than there are quests; ensuring that your front door is always positioned at the edge of your house, not in the middle; and attracting visitors to your home by placing your stereo, video and computer equipment where they can be seen from the road. What The little book of stree did for Paul Wilson, The Little book of Wrong Shui will do for Lillian Too - it is a perfect read for all those who suspect that Feng Shui is just a load of old proverbs. So throw away your baguas and forget your wind chimes - The Little Book of Wrong Shui will show you exactly how to misplace your wealth area, destroy relationships and flush all your money down the toilet.

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Page Count

160

Published Date

ISBN 10

0091869765

ISBN 13

9780091869762

The Parents' Survival Handbook

What the Other Books Won't Tell You

By: Rohan Candappa

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The Parents' Survival Handbook

What the Other Books Won't Tell You

By: Rohan Candappa

Originally published: Great Britain: Ebury Press, 2002.

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Page Count

200

Publisher

Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published Date

ISBN 10

0740738240

ISBN 13

9780740738241

Stress for Success

The New Management Revolution

By: Rohan Candappa

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Stress for Success

The New Management Revolution

By: Rohan Candappa

From the bestselling author of "The Little Book of Wrong Shui" and "The Little Book of Stress" comes a meditation on stress that will delight anyone who has ever worked in an office setting.

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Page Count

164

Publisher

Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published Date

ISBN 10

0740726897

ISBN 13

9780740726897

The Retox Diet

By: Rohan Candappa

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The Retox Diet

By: Rohan Candappa

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Page Count

180

Publisher

Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published Date

ISBN 10

0740754637

ISBN 13

9780740754630

The Little Boy

By: Rohan Hall

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The Little Boy

By: Rohan Hall

This is an inspiring book that reminds us of the beauty and love of our creator and of the wonderful world we are so fortunate to live in. It is a story that will let you reach inside and find your passion, your faith, your happiness. You will find the child within you. For children and adults alike, the little boy will teach you the true meaning of life.

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ISBN 10

0972918779

ISBN 13

9780972918770

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