This is a true story...in as much as one person's truth can be. I'm not a self-proclaimed activist or a professional writer. I'm just a person who struggles through life trying to make good decisions while attempting not to hurt anyone in the process. Prior to starting this journal I communicated with a Christian broadcasting host who promoted pervasive Christian fundamentalist theology forbidding homosexuality. I used excerpts from many of our original emails, which included short comprehensive essays about the Scripture passages that appear to discuss same-gender sexual behavior, and alternated chapters between the past and the present. Over the course of time our opinions were expressed in ever-increasing frankness and patterns of stubborn refusal to yield to the others point of view...giving testament to the battle that rages on in our communities regarding the issue of homosexuality. This journal is a chronological description of historical facts, painful moments and surprising revelations of my life as a gay Christian, including the admission that God spoke directly to me many years ago. I portray the events from a uniquely personal perspective by expressing my commitment to God, an awareness of my sexual identity and my ultimate decision to live as God created me. I describe the pain of spiritual violence, the ache for acceptance and the resulting anger towards the injustice of prejudice. I do not believe that God created opposition to homosexuality. Any more than I believe He caused the murder, persecution and oppression of other faiths, minority races or women for thousands of years. I believe the true cause originates from those who possess a strong desire to manipulate their surroundings so that their surroundings agree with their own understanding of God. And I believe that God will always be on the side of the oppressed...not the oppressor.