Instead of preaching what mothers ought to do, psychotherapist Naomi Stadlen explains what mothers already do in the course of any exhausting day's work. Drawing from countless conversations with hundreds of mothers spanning more than a decade, What Mothers Do provides lucid insight into the true experience of motherhood and answers the perennial question common to mothers everywhere: What have I done all day? Stadlen's wise reflections, threaded throughout with the voices of real mothers, explore unsentimental reactions to motherhood-resentment, guilt, splintered identity, crippling inefficiency, and deadening fatigue. Yet the overriding sentiment is one of empowerment and wonder, as Stadlen illustrates how seemingly insignificant skills such as responding to a baby's colicky cry, being instantly interruptible, or soothing an overstimulated child to sleep profoundly contribute to an individual's socialization, self-worth, and curiosity. Remarkably perceptive and heartening, What Mothers Do will resonate with mothers everywhere in search of understanding and wisdom.
Naomi writes so gently; her words are a soothing balm in these months of confusion . . . Thank you, Naomi, for your wise words' JUNO 'Essential reading for mothers' Breastfeeding Today It is amazing to listen to mothers and hear how much they learn. Each mother learns different things - some practical, some mysterious. However, some common patterns come through. Mothers learn that: *Mothering is more than baby- and childcare. *Babies can't talk but they can communicate. *Mothers are 'in conversation' with their babies. *Through their babies, mothers learn about themselves. *Mothers form families based on their own values. *The role of fathers is in the middle of a major change. *The reasons for maternal anger need to be understood. *Mothers can still be feminists. *Part of mothering is a spiritual experience. *Mothers bring usable experience back to their workplaces. What Mothers Learn will show, first, how learning to be a mother takes time, and then what a wonderful experience it can be. It also makes the case that, if enough of us agree that mothering is essential, society must find a way to reward the women who do it.
Mothers describe falling in love with their babies and then, more slowly, learning to understand them. Children flourish when their mothers love and understand them. For over 20 years, Naomi Stadlen has listened to hundreds of mothers talking at her weekly discussion groups. In 'How Mothers Love' she offers unique insights into how mothers and babies learn to communicate intimately with one another. When adults relate to one another, they are building on the foundations usually laid down by their mothers. 'How Mothers Love' is a study of how mothers start to build those foundations and covers areas such as: how to create emotional 'space' for your unborn child; how to maintain a close relationship with two or more children; the transformation into motherhood and your role as a mother in wider society. By sharing the experiences of other mothers, Naomi Stadlen offers reassurance and support to all new parents as they navigate the highs and lows of the early years with their babies.
Instead of preaching what mothers ought to do, psychotherapist Naomi Stadlen explains what mothers already do in the course of any exhausting day's work. Drawing from countless conversations with hundreds of mothers spanning more than a decade, What Mothers Do provides lucid insight into the true experience of motherhood and answers the perennial question common to mothers everywhere: What have I done all day? Stadlen's wise reflections, threaded throughout with the voices of real mothers, explore unsentimental reactions to motherhood-resentment, guilt, splintered identity, crippling inefficiency, and deadening fatigue. Yet the overriding sentiment is one of empowerment and wonder, as Stadlen illustrates how seemingly insignificant skills such as responding to a baby's colicky cry, being instantly interruptible, or soothing an overstimulated child to sleep profoundly contribute to an individual's socialization, self-worth, and curiosity. Remarkably perceptive and heartening, What Mothers Do will resonate with mothers everywhere in search of understanding and wisdom.
Naomi writes so gently; her words are a soothing balm in these months of confusion . . . Thank you, Naomi, for your wise words' JUNO 'Essential reading for mothers' Breastfeeding Today It is amazing to listen to mothers and hear how much they learn. Each mother learns different things - some practical, some mysterious. However, some common patterns come through. Mothers learn that: *Mothering is more than baby- and childcare. *Babies can't talk but they can communicate. *Mothers are 'in conversation' with their babies. *Through their babies, mothers learn about themselves. *Mothers form families based on their own values. *The role of fathers is in the middle of a major change. *The reasons for maternal anger need to be understood. *Mothers can still be feminists. *Part of mothering is a spiritual experience. *Mothers bring usable experience back to their workplaces. What Mothers Learn will show, first, how learning to be a mother takes time, and then what a wonderful experience it can be. It also makes the case that, if enough of us agree that mothering is essential, society must find a way to reward the women who do it.
There is an academic cottage industry on the "Jewish Freud," aiming to detect Jewish influences on Freud, his own feelings about being Jewish, and suppressed traces of Jewishness in his thought. This book takes a different approach, turning its gaze not on Freud but rather on those who seek out his concealed Jewishness. What is it that propels the scholarly aim to show Freud in a Jewish light? Naomi Seidman explores attempts to "touch" Freud (and other famous Jews) through Jewish languages, seeking out his Hebrew name or evidence that he knew some Yiddish. Tracing a history of this drive to bring Freud into Jewish range, Seidman also charts Freud's responses to (and jokes about) this desire. More specifically, she reads the reception and translation of Freud in Hebrew and Yiddish as instances of the desire to touch, feel, "rescue," and connect with the famous Professor from Vienna.
Some children just haven't read the parenting books. The harder you try, the worse it gets. There's a hidden contract at the heart of parenting. It's the idea that if parents just get it right, their children can be made to do what they want. Manuals explain how to make it very clear to your children what you want them to do − and how to respond when they don't cooperate. With the right rewards and consequences in place, parents are meant to ensure that their children stay under control. That's Time Out and the Naughty Step (for the little ones) or grounding and withdrawing screen privileges (for the older ones). If that doesn't work, parents are told to be more consistent. But what happens if your child is even more consistent than you? For every so often, along comes a child who hasn't signed the contract. They don't buy in. When they are put on the Naughty Step, they refuse point blank to stay there. Promises of stickers and rewards get you nowhere at all. Take their iPad away and they say, 'Fine, but I'm still not doing that'. These are the children who rip up the rule book. Their parents are left floundering. The more they try to bring their children under control, the clearer it is that they aren't haven't any of it. The firmer the boundaries, the worse their behaviour becomes. Things can go downhill fast. This down-to-earth, illustrated guide is for parents who need something different. It's for those who are fighting battles where they didn't know battles could be fought. It's for those who suspect that what they are doing isn't helping - but they don't know what else to do. It's for families who need a better way to live and who want their children (and themselves) to thrive.
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