Searching for the ultimate stimulant? Something you can have on the bus in the morning or in the ambient comfort of your own home? The latest User's Guide - a totally natural and controlled experience - is just what you've been looking for. It contains everything you always wanted to know about drugs but were afraid to ask: The history of recreational drugs, a catalogue of natural highs and pharmaceuticals, the physiological effects, drugs and religion, drugs and the law, drug customs from around the world, trafficking drugs, drugs in literature, film and art, famous drug takers, drug slang, urban myths, drug legends and horror stories, quotations, tales of outrageous behaviour and a kilo of curious facts and figures. Did you know that- --Scientists have found traces of marijuana among Shakespeare's personal effects--Victorian prime minister Lord Rosebery would snort cocaine to help pep up his public speaking
An enormous collection of over 3,000 side-splitting jokes for every occasion. Jokes range from quick-fire one-liners and observations to rambling yarns, and from the classic to the modern. This book contains quips for every occasion, from the best man’s speech to the sales conference, or just for swapping around the pub table, and it’s arranged by subject matter so it’s easy to find just the right joke. Unless you're a child, because this book is definitely for adults only! This hilarious book will appeal both to people who want to find a specific joke for a specific event, and to anyone who wants to settle down in an armchair and have a good old laugh. Jokes include: • What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador. • What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus. • What did the slug say to the snail? ‘Big Issue?’ Word count: 200,000 words
Explore 'Beatle Land' and the iconic sites associated with The Beatles' fame. The 'Fab Four' – John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr – were all born and brought up in Liverpool, and this illustrated guide reveals why the city was crucial to their musical success. Following in their footsteps around Liverpool and Merseyside, the book explores the places that influenced The Beatles' musical direction and eventual stardom. Discover the significance of the locations behind hit singles such as 'Strawberry Fields Forever' and 'Penny Lane', as well as iconic music venue The Cavern Club. The book's handy location map will guide you to all the sights, including: St Peter's Church where Paul famously first met John, who was playing in his band The Quarrymen in the grounds. The Mersey Ferry which provided a great venue for the Beatles to perform in 1961 and 1962. Strawberry Fields where John visited summer fairs with his aunt, and which was the inspiration behind the hit single 'Strawberry Fields Forever' Penny Lane and its bus roundabout, celebrated in the song with the same name. The Cavern Club, the iconic music venue where The Beatles played 292 times and where Brian Epstein first saw them perform in 1961. John, Paul, George and Ringo's childhood homes. The book also looks at the band's early childhood influences including schools, parents and relatives that left an indelible mark on the character of the boys as they grew up, as well as their manager Brian Epstein's role and influence as another Liverpool lad. Fully illustrated, this is the ultimate Beatles fan's guide to Liverpool.
Brace yourself... 60 is approaching! It’s time to face the facts – even though you might not feel it, you’re decidedly more O.A.P. than V.I.P. But don’t trade your custard creams for the cod-liver oil just yet, because there’s plenty more fun to be had. This cheerful little book, full of tongue-in-cheek advice, will put some swagger in your step for many years to come!
A hilarious collection of the weirdest, stupidest and most outrageous things ever said on the internet on sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Ebay, Amazon, YouTube and even in good old-fashioned emails. Years ago if you said or did something stupid or embarrassing, it would have remained relatively private and have would soon been forgotten. Now thanks to advances in technology every cringe-making remark that we make online is preserved not only for the rest of eternity but is also instantly available for all the world to see! Wow! I'm a Genieous! presents an irresistible collection of ill-thought out comments, opinions, online disputes and sheer unashamed ignorance. So join us as we find the people who put the twit in Twitter and the mess in instant message. Contents include: Stupid Questions and Stupid Answers: e.g. "Does anyone know Obama's last name?" "Are there any lakes in the Lake District?" Angry Outbursts: Furious, insane or wildly over the top comments from You Tube etc Harrods it ain't - buying and selling on the internet: "I won a filthy Powerbook 540 which took about one month to arrive. The seller clearly used rubbish from their bin to pack the box; complete with McDonalds wrappers with old french fries and lettuce!" Observations To Leave You Speechless: "Does it rain in Australia? Because it's the other side of the world doesn't the rain just fall away into space?", "The Olympics has been going three thousand years?! We're only up to 2012!" "I like to tape my thumbs to my hands to see what it would be like to be a dinosaur." Reviews from Hell: "The beach was too sandy and there were too many fish in the sea...", "We went on holiday to Spain and had problems with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish" Online Slip Ups: Internet-based disasters e.g. the school headmaster who asked his bursar to reply to a complaint from an old lady by telling her to "get stuffed" but accidentally copied her in on the message Communication Problems: Extraordinary spelling mistakes and terrible grammar e.g. "nothing more fun than wachting sex and city and raping Christmas pressants", "Why is the USA bombin Labia?" People Who Really Don't Deserve Our Money: e.g. An email from a Euromillions winner promising you a share of their win. As if!
Mothers are the unsung heroes of many a household. This silly compilation of mom-based jokes seeks to celebrate these domestic goddesses in a humorous and playful way.
At last, no more parents! But who’s going to do your washing, and bail you out when you’re short of cash? Hmm, you’re going to need survival skills. This mischievous little book will help you see through your university years with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
Is your eyesight failing, are you not very good at driving yourself, or are you simply blind drunk? These are just a few of the reasons why it would make perfect sense to teach your dog to be your new chauffeur. Here, for the first time, is a complete guide: how to get your dog acquainted with the controls, which breeds are the safest drivers, frequently asked questions; and how to get your dog successfully through their tests. Never again need you wait for a taxi, or make that long highway drive unassisted. If you are a dog owner and a car owner, then How to Teach Your Dog to Drive will be the most useful book you buy this year, or even this decade . . .
Your job is rewarding, but if you’re going to be faced with the horrors of the human body you’re going to need survival skills. This mischievous little book will help see you through your years as a doctor with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
Brace yourself... 50 is approaching! There’s no denying it – you’ve officially got ‘a few years’ under your belt (and possibly a few extra notches on it). But don’t trade your party gear for a pair of slippers just yet, because there’s plenty more fun to be had. This cheerful little book, full of tongue-in-cheek advice, will help you carry on strutting your stuff for many years to come!
It's the best of times and the worst of times. You're welcoming a new addition to the family, but you're now officially old. You're also an eternal babysitter. On the plus side, you can enjoy spoiling the little darlings rotten and hand them back at the end of the day before the nappies start overflowing.
Cats are furry, purry and loveable. They also happen to be the keepers of their own destiny – and utterly untrainable; if you’re going to make it as a cat owner, you’re going to need survival skills. This mischievous little book will help see you through your years as a cat owner with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
Freedom at last! But there’s an awfully long time between cornflakes and cocoa, and a limit to how many sudokus you can do. You need survival skills: FINANCIAL WIZARDRY: how to get three cups of tea out of one bag. SPARKLING CONVERSATION: 300 different ways to discuss the weather. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your golden years with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick. Remember the jokes you told in the playground? The ones you annoyed your parents with for hours and hours? The ones you secretly still find hilarious? This book contains them all, and more. Clean enough for children but funny enough for adults, Best Ever Classroom Jokes is packed full of the stupidest jokes ever told. What happens if you pass out after eating too much curry? You go into a korma. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick. Containing a mix of well-loved favourites and brand new, originally written jokes, this rib-tickling book is an essential read for big kids everywhere. Word count: 35,000
You won’t find a more loveable friend than you will in your dog. But if you’re going to cope with its boundless energy and its total disregard for social niceties you’re going to need survival skills. This mischievous little book will help see you through your years as a dog owner with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
Brace yourself... 40 is approaching! Once your thirties are behind you, there are no excuses left – you’re indisputably ‘experienced’, certifiably ‘mature’. But don’t trade that margarita for a mug of cocoa just yet, because there’s plenty more fun to be had. This cheerful little book, full of tongue-in-cheek advice, will help keep your mojo working for many years to come!
A new term begins and you can’t wait for it to end. If only the holidays were longer... or school didn’t exist. To get through it, you’re going to need survival skills. This mischievous little book will help see you through your years as a teacher with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
A massive collection of laugh-out-loud jokes—arranged A-to-Z by subject! •Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He finally decided to stick it out for one more year! •A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.” •Where do you get virgin wool from? An ugly sheep! •What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? “Oh look! Donut seeds!” •The police have reported the theft of a shipment of filing cabinets, document folders, and labeling machines—it’s believed to have been the work of organized crime. Keep yourself—and friends and family—laughing with a new joke every day. This book is packed full of thousands of jokes, alphabetically organized into hundreds of topics from accountants to zebras, providing one gigantic, over-the-top, laugh-out-loud collection.
Dads are notoriously impossible to buy decent gifts for. They don't need any more aftershave and there are only so many socks and jocks that they can store in their drawers. But fear not—help comes in the form of Who's the Daddy? Joke Book. Chock full of amusing anecdotes, funny jokes, silly sayings, and quotations, this riotous romp explores what tickles the paternal funny bone.
From Groucho to Gervais - The Ultimate Collection! This book is filled with the funniest quotes from the greatest comedians, actors and actresses ever to walk the Earth.Mike Haskins is a comedy writer for TV and radio. He has written for Steve Coogan, Simon Pegg, Alistair McGowan, Monkey Dust, Smack the Pony, Punt and Dennis' It's Been A Bad Week, Dead Ringers, Hale and Pace, Graeme Garden and many others. He has worked closely for many years with Griff Rhys Jones on programmes such as Smith and Jones, The Griff Rhys Jones Show and The Cradleys. Mike is also the author of Now Wash Your Hands and The Languid Goat is Always Thin, (Prion), and Drugs: A User's Guide. His skill at selecting and editing jokes was demonstrated by his co-authorship of the bestselling joke collection Man Walks Into A Bar (over 140,000 copies sold).
An introductory look at the game of baseball and the Los Angeles Dodgers. Younger sports fans can now get an introductory look at some of their favorite sports and the men and women who play the game! Written at a 2nd grade reading level, but geared to readers through grade 6, the easy-to-read text features lots of great photos, trading card reproductions, word games, and more. Includes a short history, records, poems, maps, glossary, index. Authors Mike Kennedy and Mark Stewart have teamed up on more than 100 books, including the popular Team Spirit series.
Be the life of the party with this ridiculous and definitely-not-for-kids joke book. Includes knock-knock-jokes, one-liners, puns, and more hilarious jokes. Do you want to be the person who keeps friends, family, and coworkers laughing with a new joke every day? Packed full of thousands of jokes and alphabetically organized into hundreds of topics from accountants to zebras, this book offers you a massive collection of over-the-top jokes that will have everyone laughing out loud. Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He finally decided to stick it out for one more year! A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.” The police have reported the theft of a shipment of filing cabinets, document folders and labeling machines—it’s believed to have been the work of organized crime
Aimed at anyone who likes to hear and tell jokes. This work organises the jokes thematically - wives, husbands, doctors, lawyers, the French, the Germans, jokes about nuns, jokes about monkeys, and more.
Crazy comedy is at its best in this collection of witty one-liners and rib-tickling punch lines. Many are original puns that’ll have readers laughing their socks off, along with absurd shaggy dog tales and comic quotes. If, as they say, laughter is the best medicine, the hysterically funny jokes in this book will ensure maximum health—no need to ever take a sick day again—unless, of course, your sides have split or you’ve ended up in stitches!
A colorful, whimsical bedtime story with a moral. Generated by Mike Turner to show good triumph's over bad habits in a very unusual way. Meant to be a fun read with morals for children of all ages and a surprise non threatening ending to a troubled neighborhood through the use of a very innocuous tool in a very laughable way. Made to cause a laugh but perhaps teach a good life lesson as well.
Packed with cricket's greatest stories, from both on and off the field, famous quips, insults, pranks, mishaps, incredible facts and outrageous incidents - perfect for the cricket nut in your home.
Today, we take for granted that the tumult of the Sixties has shaped America's politics and culture ever since. But fading from memory are the stories of the real people who created the tumult as they sifted through events and made choices about politics, culture and how they wanted to live their lives. Most of those people were not as far out as the people who made the cover of various magazines but their choices were just as difficult and, ultimately, just as important. This book is the story of my Sixties--how I became an activist, spent a little time on the road as a Hippie, fell in love a couple times, lived in communes, got my head busted in Chicago, and smoked a some dope. But the real story is how the choices I made were generational choices that continue to reverberate fifty years later. Anyone who grew up in the Sixties will recognize the times, perhaps with nostalgia, perhaps with distaste. Anyone who wondered how the world got turned upside down in those years will get a view of how, one choice at a time, the divisions in American society got redrawn.
Growing older doesn't mean you have to grow up! If you're the sort of golden oldie who still likes to party hard, chats up strangers in bars, listens to loud music (and not because your hearing is going), or dresses so outrageously that your grandchildren beg you to "tone it down", then this book is for you. Full of irreverent advice on how to misbehave and put the younger generation to shame, Wrinklies Growing Old Disgracefully is a hilarious celebration of mis-spent seniority, written by two successful comedy sketch writers.
Finally, you’re a proper grown-up! But between the paunch and the mortgage, you’re starting to wonder if this is what you really want. You need midlife crisis survival skills. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your second youth with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
Do you think that the sense of humour fades once you reach 50? This little gift book proves otherwise, as it contains jokes designed specifically for oldies - young whippersnappers beware!
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