Matthew David Brozik's Books

The Government Manual for New Wizards

By: Matthew David Brozik,Jacob Sager Weinstein

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The Government Manual for New Wizards

By: Matthew David Brozik,Jacob Sager Weinstein

The comedic duo behind The Government Manual for New Superheroes is back, and this time they've brought their magic wands and enchanted artifacts. The Government Manual for New Wizards is a hilarious, mock-official handbook for wannabe witches and warlocks who need advice on recognizing the onset of wizardolescence, understanding the laws of magic (and the magic of laws), choosing (or being chosen by) the right magical items and enchanted artifacts, dealing with the dead (grateful and otherwise), successfully hosting magical exhibitions, and the proper care and feeding of magical creatures. Wands, charms, cloaks of invisibility, shoes of stealth (or sneakers), and other otherworldly accoutrements--it's all here, discussed tongue-in-cheek but with the utmost Governmental authority. This entertaining guide offers such sage advice as: * A demon is just as afraid of you as you are of it--provided, of course, that you are eight feet tall, composed of living fire, and capable of destroying a small village with a single angry thought. Otherwise, it doesn't find you frightening at all. * When selecting educational programs, do not be tempted by solicitations from wizardry parchment mills. A so-called degree from such a place is not worth the scroll on which it appears to be inscribed. The ink will disappear not long after the school itself does. The Government Manual for New Wizards is a sidesplitting spoof of all things wizard-y.

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Page Count

196

Publisher

Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published Date

ISBN 10

0740789120

ISBN 13

9780740789120

The Government Manual for New Pirates

By: Matthew David Brozik

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The Government Manual for New Pirates

By: Matthew David Brozik

There be no callin' 'dibs' in piratin'. Booty be divided among the crew, from the lowest deckswabber to the highest masthand. So says the Pirate Code." --Calico Jack Rackham, king of the pirates * Enjoy a witty mock-official handbook for potential pirates and plunderers. Matthew David Brozik and Jacob Sager Weinstein continue to spoof those uber-utilitarian survival and how-to guides by offering this pithy pirating primer for budding buccaneers. This treasure trove of Pirate Code imparts wisdom on eye patches and tricorner hats, talking the talk, walking the walk (down the plank, that is), appropriate ship names, dueling, avoiding cursed treasure, and much more.

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Page Count

144

Publisher

Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published Date

ISBN 10

0740789236

ISBN 13

9780740789236

The Government Manual for New Superheroes

By: Matthew David Brozik,Jacob Sager Weinstein

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The Government Manual for New Superheroes

By: Matthew David Brozik,Jacob Sager Weinstein

The government provides manuals for new home-owners and new motor vehicle operators, but what's a new superhero to do? Ka-POW! The Government Manual for New Superheroes rushes in to save the day! The Government Manual for New Superheroes is a hilarious, mock-official handbook that offers thorough, accessible, and completely zany advice for anyone who has always dreamed of donning a skintight spandex uniform and leaping across the rooftops of their cities. Going well beyond tights and capes, this manual provides insight into choosing a name, constructing a costume, choosing the right supertools of the supertrade, establishing a base of operations, maintaining a secret identity, taking or becoming a sidekick, joining a superheroic team, and even finding that special someone who gives meaning to a superhero's life--a nemesis. Extra features include a roster of superhero unions, a registration application, several useful charts and tips, and even a list of other government-sponsored periodicals for further reading. Destined to become a cult classic, The Government Manual for New Superheroes is an essential guide for every aspiring superhero.

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Age

Page Count

161

Publisher

Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published Date

ISBN 10

0740789090

ISBN 13

9780740789090

The Government Manual for New Pirates

By: Matthew David Brozik

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The Government Manual for New Pirates

By: Matthew David Brozik

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Solve jigsaw puzzle

Age

Page Count

144

Publisher

Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published Date

ISBN 10

0740789236

ISBN 13

9780740789236

The Government Manual for New Wizards

By: Matthew David Brozik,Jacob Sager Weinstein

Write a review Read reviews Take a Quiz Solve Book Puzzle

The Government Manual for New Wizards

By: Matthew David Brozik,Jacob Sager Weinstein

Average ratings

N/A

Write a review

Solve jigsaw puzzle

Age

Page Count

196

Publisher

Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published Date

ISBN 10

0740789120

ISBN 13

9780740789120

Book's by Matthew David Brozik

The Government Manual for New Wizards

The Government Manual for New Wizards

The Government Manual for New Pirates

The Government Manual for New Pirates

The Government Manual for New Superheroes

The Government Manual for New Superheroes

The Government Manual for New Pirates

The Government Manual for New Pirates

The Government Manual for New Wizards

The Government Manual for New Wizards

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