Marty Beckerman's Books

The Heming Way

How to Unleash the Booze-Inhaling, Animal-Slaughtering, War-Glorifying, Hairy-Chested Retro-Sexual Legend Within, Just Like Papa!

By: Marty Beckerman

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The Heming Way

How to Unleash the Booze-Inhaling, Animal-Slaughtering, War-Glorifying, Hairy-Chested Retro-Sexual Legend Within, Just Like Papa!

By: Marty Beckerman

Marty Beckerman's hilarious guide for the modern man to booze, battle, and bull-fight his way to becoming more like Hemingway More than fifty years have passed since the death of Ernest Hemingway, history's ultimate man, and young males today—obsessed with Facebook, Twitter, and Playstation—know nothing about his legendary brand of rugged, alcoholic masculinity. They cannot skin a fish, dominate a battlefield, or transform majestic creatures of the Southern Hemisphere into piano keyboards. The Heming Way demonstrates how modern eunuchs—brainwashed by PETA and Alcoholics Anonymous—can learn from Papa's unparalleled example: drunken, unshaven, meat-devouring, wife-divorcing, and gloriously self-destructive. Advice includes: How to kill enough animals to render a species endangered—just like Papa! Getting your friends to think drinking a daiquiri is manly . . . just by drinking one nine yourself Achieving sufficiently high testosterone levels to never have to worry about the chance of having a daughter instead of a son And much more! Profane, insightful, hilarious and loaded with more than 150 photos, facts and insights about Papa, The Heming Way is a difficult path, and not for the weak, but truth is manlier than fiction.

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Page Count

226

Publisher

St. Martin's Griffin

Published Date

ISBN 10

1250018757

ISBN 13

9781250018755

The Heming Way

How to Unleash the Booze-Inhaling, Animal-Slaughtering, War-Glorifying, Hairy-Chested Retro-Sexual Legend Within, Just Like Papa!

By: Marty Beckerman

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The Heming Way

How to Unleash the Booze-Inhaling, Animal-Slaughtering, War-Glorifying, Hairy-Chested Retro-Sexual Legend Within, Just Like Papa!

By: Marty Beckerman

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Page Count

226

Publisher

Macmillan

Published Date

ISBN 10

1250010608

ISBN 13

9781250010605

Generation S.L.U.T.

A Brutal Feel-up Session with Today's Sex-Crazed Adolescent Populace

By: Marty Beckerman

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Generation S.L.U.T.

A Brutal Feel-up Session with Today's Sex-Crazed Adolescent Populace

By: Marty Beckerman

The first exploration of the sex lives of modern teens, as reported from the frontlines by twenty-year-old Marty Beckerman. Innovatively combining fact and fiction, the book is filled with mind-shattering stats, news reports, and confessions from adolescents nationwide about the new American "Hook-Up Culture," in which 7,700 kids lose their virginity every day. Far from religious proselytizing, Generation S.L.U.T. seeks to find the balance between sexual freedom and sexual responsibility, and even the most cynical readers (not to mention parents) will find themselves speechless and heartbroken. Blunt and brutal, tackling everything from preteen oral sex to gun violence, sexual assault, and suicide, Beckerman's tour de force through contemporary adolescence will leave you stunned, breathless, and ultimately horrified.

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Page Count

161

Publisher

Simon and Schuster

Published Date

ISBN 10

0743480368

ISBN 13

9780743480369

Killennials

A Novella

By: Marty Beckerman

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Killennials

A Novella

By: Marty Beckerman

Adjunct professor Olivia has no savings, no stability, no hope...oh, and she's still living at home with her father, the university dean. Meanwhile, sky-high tuition is wrecking her students' lives. The solution? Kidnap the out-of-touch baby boomers running the school and demand cancellation of all college loan debt. What could possibly go wrong, except for a civil war between young and old? Adjusted for inflation, millennials spend 50% more on rent, 75% more on healthcare and 150% more on college (while earning $10,000 less) than baby boomers did at the same age. Two-thirds can't afford to buy a house or save for retirement. It was only a matter of time until s**t went down... From Marty Beckerman, author of bestselling parody The Heming Way ("laugh-out-loud"—USA Today), comes a timely, uproarious and dope AF tale of the new generation gap. They killed shopping malls, chain restaurants, taxis, newspapers, bar soap, landline phones, cable TV and gluten...and now they’re coming for youuuuuuuuuuuu! Praise for Other Books by the Author: “[H]ilarious...” —Yale Daily News “[F]unny, smart, and satirical...” —Vol. 1 Brooklyn “Beckerman depicts sympathetic people who behave in hateful ways and, in doing so, manages to capture something essential about our generation.” —The Brown Daily Herald “[R]aucous...” —Booklist “It is tempting to cut and paste huge blockquotes of Beckerman brilliantly skewering...but the choosing would be too difficult.” —Decibel magazine “[Y]ou won’t be able to hold in your laughter...” —Oregon Daily Emerald “[F]unny...” —Kirkus Reviews “Beckerman carries the reader through with wit and intelligence, taking a shot at everything in his path.” —Beatdom “[H]ilarious ... while at the same time sobering and disturbing.” —StarMetro Toronto “[F]unny and gleefully provocative.” —The Boston Phoenix “Marty Beckerman [is] the Lenny Bruce of his generation.” —John Strausbaugh, author of Rock ‘Til You Drop: The Decline from Rebellion to Nostalgia

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Page Count

103

Publisher

Marty Beckerman

Published Date

ISBN 10

0970062974

ISBN 13

9780970062970

'90s Island

A Novella

By: Marty Beckerman

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'90s Island

A Novella

By: Marty Beckerman

On the eve of their thirtieth birthday, twin brothers Jake and Zack Hind--bankrupt from the recession and obsessed with the lost golden era of the 1990s--drunkenly create a Kickstarter crowdfunding page for ’90s ISLAND, a tropical commune dedicated to recreating that beloved, carefree decade. When they wake up, Generation Y has collectively pledged millions of dollars. At first it’s a thrilling return to the twentieth century: ’90s fashions, ’90s music, ’90s slang, ’90s video games, even ’90s junk food…but the fun turns to horror when Zack seizes dictatorial power, banning everything from modern books to medicine. Jake must stop his brother--but first he must conquer his own nostalgia. From Marty Beckerman, author of #1 Amazon.com best-selling parody The Heming Way (“laugh-out-loud”--USA Today), comes a hilarious, poignant literary treatment of the 1990s revival that asks the ultimate millennial question: “What’s My Age Again?”

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Page Count

109

Publisher

Marty Beckerman

Published Date

ISBN 10

0970062958

ISBN 13

9780970062956

Dumbocracy

Adventures with the Loony Left, the Rabid Right, and Other American Idiots

By: Marty Beckerman

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Dumbocracy

Adventures with the Loony Left, the Rabid Right, and Other American Idiots

By: Marty Beckerman

In this scathing exploration of the ridiculous ends of the American political spectrum both conservative and liberal, fresh new voice Marty Beckerman interacts with the PC police of the Left (Stupid Hippies) and the military theocrats of the Right (Jesus Freaks) and hilariously exposes how extremists of all persuasions undermine life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

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Page Count

239

Publisher

Disinformation Company

Published Date

ISBN 10

1934708062

ISBN 13

9781934708064

Generation S.L.U.T.

A Brutal Feel-up Session with Today's Sex-Crazed Adolescent Populace

By: Marty Beckerman

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Generation S.L.U.T.

A Brutal Feel-up Session with Today's Sex-Crazed Adolescent Populace

By: Marty Beckerman

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Solve jigsaw puzzle

Age

Page Count

161

Publisher

Simon and Schuster

Published Date

ISBN 10

0743480368

ISBN 13

9780743480369

Killennials

A Novella

By: Marty Beckerman

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Killennials

A Novella

By: Marty Beckerman

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Solve jigsaw puzzle

Age

Page Count

103

Publisher

Marty Beckerman

Published Date

ISBN 10

0970062974

ISBN 13

9780970062970

Book's by Marty Beckerman

The Heming Way

The Heming Way

The Heming Way

The Heming Way

Generation S.L.U.T.

Generation S.L.U.T.

Killennials

Killennials

'90s Island

'90s Island

Dumbocracy

Dumbocracy

Generation S.L.U.T.

Generation S.L.U.T.

Killennials

Killennials

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