Lisa Beth Johnson's Books

Mom Jokes

Like Dad Jokes, Only Smarter

By: Lisa Beth Johnson,Phoebe Bottoms

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Mom Jokes

Like Dad Jokes, Only Smarter

By: Lisa Beth Johnson,Phoebe Bottoms

The authors of Okay, Boomer deliver much-needed one-liners, puns, lists, and real-life tweets to lighten the load—and life—of moms everywhere. Moms need their laughs just as much as anyone, especially when they have to relieve the stress of cranky kids, oblivious spouses, and the challenges of balancing work and family while keeping it all together—at least on the surface! Mom Jokes is a collection of more than 300 snarky, sassy, and witty jokes for moms, such as . . . Every Mother’s Day my children make me breakfast in bed. Good thing I taught them how to make bottomless mimosas. What’s the difference between me when I’m nine months pregnant and a supermodel? Nothing, because my husband values his life. The good thing about going back to work after having kids is that you have your mom boss voice perfected. I thought my seven-year-old was mature enough to feed our goldfish—and he is—he just isn’t mature enough to know they don’t eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. From family life and the daily grind to food and entertainment, this collection of jokes nails the ups and downs of motherhood, giving moms light-hearted moments to get through the heavy lifting.

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Page Count

196

Publisher

Simon and Schuster

Published Date

ISBN 10

1645171884

ISBN 13

9781645171881

Mom Jokes

Like Dad Jokes, Only Smarter

By: Lisa Beth Johnson,Phoebe Bottoms

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Mom Jokes

Like Dad Jokes, Only Smarter

By: Lisa Beth Johnson,Phoebe Bottoms

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Page Count

196

Publisher

Simon and Schuster

Published Date

ISBN 10

1645171884

ISBN 13

9781645171881

OK, Boomer

And Other Age-(In)appropriate Jokes

By: Lisa Beth Johnson,Phoebe Bottoms

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OK, Boomer

And Other Age-(In)appropriate Jokes

By: Lisa Beth Johnson,Phoebe Bottoms

Jokes for (and about) every generation, from boomers to zoomers. Past, Present, and Future walk into a bar…and then things get tense. Fortunately, nothing can defuse tension like humor, and this book is packed with age (in)appropriate jokes for every generational stereotype. The old have been complaining about the young—and vice versa—for centuries. Whether you need a zinger for your cranky grandfather, a one-liner for your out-of-touch aunt, or a snarky comeback for a clueless millennial, OK, Boomer has it all. Enjoy . . . Jokes (How many boomers does it take to change a light bulb? Three: one to do it, and another two to talk about how much better the old one was) Riddles (Q: Why do boomers always pay with an exact amount? A: Because they’re afraid of change) Boomer Band/Millennial Mash-ups (James Taylor Swift, Fleetwood Macklemore, Steve Miller Band of Horses) Lists (Things that Still Exist Only Because of Boomers)

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Page Count

131

Publisher

Simon and Schuster

Published Date

ISBN 10

1645177203

ISBN 13

9781645177203

Defining Student Success

The Role of School and Culture

By: Lisa M. Nunn

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Defining Student Success

The Role of School and Culture

By: Lisa M. Nunn

The key to success, our culture tells us, is a combination of talent and hard work. Why then, do high schools that supposedly subscribe to this view send students to college at such dramatically different rates? Why do students from one school succeed while students from another struggle? To the usual answer—an imbalance in resources—this book adds a far more subtle and complicated explanation. Defining Student Success shows how different schools foster dissimilar and sometimes conflicting ideas about what it takes to succeed—ideas that do more to preserve the status quo than to promote upward mobility. Lisa Nunn’s study of three public high schools reveals how students’ beliefs about their own success are shaped by their particular school environment and reinforced by curriculum and teaching practices. While American culture broadly defines success as a product of hard work or talent (at school, intelligence is the talent that matters most), Nunn shows that each school refines and adapts this American cultural wisdom in its own distinct way—reflecting the sensibilities and concerns of the people who inhabit each school. While one school fosters the belief that effort is all it takes to succeed, another fosters the belief that hard work will only get you so far because you have to be smart enough to master course concepts. Ultimately, Nunn argues that these school-level adaptations of cultural ideas about success become invisible advantages and disadvantages for students’ college-going futures. Some schools’ definitions of success match seamlessly with elite college admissions’ definition of the ideal college applicant, while others more closely align with the expectations of middle or low-tier institutions of higher education. With its insights into the transmission of ideas of success from society to school to student, this provocative work should prompt a reevaluation of the culture of secondary education. Only with a thorough understanding of this process will we ever find more consistent means of inculcating success, by any measure.

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Page Count

175

Publisher

Rutgers University Press

Published Date

ISBN 10

0813572118

ISBN 13

9780813572116

John G. Roberts, Jr

Chief Justice

By: Lisa Tucker McElroy

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John G. Roberts, Jr

Chief Justice

By: Lisa Tucker McElroy

A biography of the seventeenth Chief Justice of the United States.

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Publisher

Lerner Publications

Published Date

ISBN 10

0822563894

ISBN 13

9780822563891

MCSA/MCSE: Windows 2000 Professional Study Guide

Exam 70-210

By: Lisa Donald

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MCSA/MCSE: Windows 2000 Professional Study Guide

Exam 70-210

By: Lisa Donald

Here's the book you need to prepare for Exam 70-210, Installing, Configuring, and Administering Microsoft Windows 2000 Professional. This study guide provides: In-depth coverage of every exam objective--all the information you need Practical information on installing, configuring, and administering Windows 2000 Professional Hundreds of challenging review questions, in the book and on the CD Leading-edge exam preparation software, including a testing engine, electronic flashcards, and simulation software Authoritative coverage of all exam objectives, including: Installing Windows 2000 Professional Implementing and conducting administration of resources Implementing, managing, and troubleshooting hardware devices and drivers Monitoring and optimizing system performance and reliability Configuring and troubleshooting the desktop environment Implementing, managing, and troubleshooting network protocols and services Implementing, monitoring, and troubleshooting security Note: CD-ROM/DVD and other supplementary materials are not included as part of eBook file.

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Page Count

918

Publisher

Sybex

Published Date

ISBN 10

0782129463

ISBN 13

9780782129465

Only in My Dreams

By: Lisa Faith Bragg

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Only in My Dreams

By: Lisa Faith Bragg

Only in My Dreams is the story of how a woman finds love just when she needs it the most. Beth's husband, Wayne, has been having an affair, but she is too embarrassed to discuss it, even with her friend, Chante. Beth blames herself for Wayne's infidelity. She has never truly loved Wayne. He has been a great father to her daughter, but for Beth, he is no more than a friend. An invitation from Chante is something Beth cannot resist-a whole summer vacation in New Jersey. That is when she meets Stephen, a musician whose band plays in one of the clubs in Sayreville. Beth is instantly smitten by Stephen and he feels the same way about her. But he is not the only one. Paul, Stephen's friend, is attracted to Beth as well. Torn between love and commitment, Beth is facing the hardest decision she has ever had to make. In the end, she knows she just needs to follow her heart.Only in My Dreams might appeal to readers who are interested in stories of romance and friendship.

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Page Count

171

Publisher

Lulu.com

Published Date

ISBN 10

1105036782

ISBN 13

9781105036781

Art Facilitation for Special Needs Populations

By: Lisa Fields Clark

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Art Facilitation for Special Needs Populations

By: Lisa Fields Clark

Identifying five special needs populations, the book discusses the unique techniques needed to most effectively assist each group.

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Page Count

113

Publisher

Lulu.com

Published Date

ISBN 10

0615709400

ISBN 13

9780615709406

Keeping Kids in the Home and out of the System

Raising Law Abiding Children

By: Lisa A. Hill Ph.D. LMFT

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Keeping Kids in the Home and out of the System

Raising Law Abiding Children

By: Lisa A. Hill Ph.D. LMFT

Studieshaveconsistentlyconcludedthatmanypersonalitydisordersandmoreseriousmentaldisordersarebelievedtobethe resultof dysfunctionalfamilyrelationships,andvery oftenstemfromtheparent-childrelationship.Thismakessense,childreninitially learnimportantbehaviorsfromtheirfamiliesoforigin. Forexample,parentsarethefirstonestosocialize theirchildsotheycanteachtheirchildrensocialize andtosaypleaseandthankyou,taketurns,be patientetc.Theprimarypurposeofthisbookisto assurethatparentshavetheinformationtheyneed toproperlyraisechildrenwhohavetheskillsnecessary tobesuccessfuladultsandnotendupintheCriminal JusticeSystem.Bythetimeyouthendupinthe juvenilejusticesystem,itmaybetoolate.Theybecomelabelledanoffenderormaybeevenapredator.That labelgivessocietytherighttolocktheyouthup duringwhichtimetheywillbetraumatized. Sometimeswell-meaning,uninformed,andfrustratedparents perpetuatetheirchildrenenteringthecriminaljustice systemandevenofchildservingagenciessuchas socialservices.Whenparentsarefacedwithchildren whoareincorrigible,at-risk,ortheparentisunabletocareforthechilddue totheirownpersonalproblems,someparentswill welcometheinterventionofthecriminaljusticesystem forsupport.Aftertheirchildhasbeentakenintocustody, Ihavehadparentstellme,youraisemychildbecauseI cannotdoit.Someparentsbelievethathavingaccess toaprobationofficerwithabadgeandpowersofarrest,givesthemthereliefandrespitetheyneededtoaddress theirchildsdestructivebehavior.Mythreedecadesof experienceworkingwithyouthandparentsinthe criminaljusticerevealedthat,inmostcases,probationandsocialservicesinterventiondonotmakeyouthbetter. Converselyformostyouth,theirexperiencewith socialservicesandprobationdepartmentshas resultedinongoingdelinquencyandtheyouth transitioningintotheadultCriminalJusticeSystem. However,goodparentingisthegatekeepertothe criminaljusticesystem.

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Page Count

298

Publisher

Xlibris Corporation

Published Date

ISBN 10

1984513656

ISBN 13

9781984513656

Christina Aguilera

By: Lisa Degnen

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Christina Aguilera

By: Lisa Degnen

Celebrity journalist Degnan has compiled this pictorial biography of teen sensation Christina Aguilera, including her childhood start in the Mickey Mouse club and her arrival on the music charts with the hit single, "Genie in a Bottle". 80+ full-color photos.

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Page Count

104

Publisher

MetroBooks (NY)

Published Date

ISBN 10

1586630369

ISBN 13

9781586630362

Comprehensive Pediatric Hospital Medicine, Second Edition

By: Lisa B. Zaoutis,Vincent W. Chiang

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Comprehensive Pediatric Hospital Medicine, Second Edition

By: Lisa B. Zaoutis,Vincent W. Chiang

The gold-standard text in pediatric hospital medicine – updated and streamlined for today’s practice Hailed by reviewers and clinicians alike, Comprehensive Pediatric Hospital Medicine has become the specialty’s cornerstone text. Edited by five leading figures in pediatric hospital medicine, this acclaimed resource brings you the most up-to-date, evidence-based approaches to inpatient pediatric care from experts in their fields. Comprehensive Pediatric Hospital Medicine, Second Edition opens with an informative introductory section that defines hospital medicine and addresses general issues of hospitalist practice and administration. This includes important topics such as medical legal issues, communications, electronic health records, palliative care, ethical issues, careers, professional organizations, and more. The book then moves into commonly presenting signs and symptoms. This is followed by the largest section, a breakdown of diseases by system. The text concludes with a procedures section that provides hard-to-find instruction on the procedures most commonly performed on children in a hospital setting. The Disease chapters are templated to include Background, Pathophysiology, Differential Diagnosis, Diagnostic Evaluation, Management, Special Considerations, Key Points, References, algorithms, and more. The Procedures chapters include Indications, Contraindications, Anatomy, Equipment, Procedure, Preparation, Technique, Complications, and Special Considerations. If you’re in need of an up-to-date, comprehensive, and authoritative text that spans the emerging field of pediatric hospital medicine, your search ends here.

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Page Count

1152

Publisher

McGraw Hill Professional

Published Date

ISBN 10

0071829296

ISBN 13

9780071829298

Parents' Guide to Teen Health

Raising Physically & Emotionally Healthy Teens

By: Paul Reisser,Paul C. Reisser,Vinita Hampton Wright,Lisa A. Jackson

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Parents' Guide to Teen Health

Raising Physically & Emotionally Healthy Teens

By: Paul Reisser,Paul C. Reisser,Vinita Hampton Wright,Lisa A. Jackson

A guide to raising physically and emotionally healthy teenagers that provides information on teen nutritional needs and weight issues, strategies for building strong relationships, ideas for talking through critical lifestyle issues, and advice on building healthy self-esteem.

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Page Count

296

Published Date

ISBN 10

0842354131

ISBN 13

9780842354134

MOUS

Microsoft Access 2002

By: Lisa Friedrichsen

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MOUS

Microsoft Access 2002

By: Lisa Friedrichsen

Part of the Illustrated series, this text offers a quick, visual way to build Microsoft Access 2002 skills.

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Page Count

268

Publisher

Course Technology

Published Date

ISBN 10

0619057181

ISBN 13

9780619057183

Certification Circle MOUS

Microsoft Office XP

By: Rachel Biheller Bunin,Barbara Clemens,Rachel Bunin,Katherine Pinard,Lisa Friedrichsen,Marjorie S. Hunt

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Certification Circle MOUS

Microsoft Office XP

By: Rachel Biheller Bunin,Barbara Clemens,Rachel Bunin,Katherine Pinard,Lisa Friedrichsen,Marjorie S. Hunt

Presents a highly visual approach to learning the necessary skills to pass the Microsoft Office User Specialist (MOUS) exam.

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Page Count

148

Published Date

ISBN 10

0619056738

ISBN 13

9780619056735

The Food Lover's Companion to Portland

By: Lisa Shara Hall,Roger J. Porter

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The Food Lover's Companion to Portland

By: Lisa Shara Hall,Roger J. Porter

The first comprehensive guide of its kind to the Portland area, this book reveals the inside scoop on a blossoming culinary mecca.

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Page Count

260

Publisher

Chronicle Books (CA)

Published Date

ISBN 10

0811811921

ISBN 13

9780811811927

Book's by Lisa Beth Johnson

Mom Jokes

Mom Jokes

Mom Jokes

Mom Jokes

OK, Boomer

OK, Boomer

Defining Student Success

Defining Student Success

John G. Roberts, Jr

John G. Roberts, Jr

MCSA/MCSE: Windows 2000 Professional Study Guide

MCSA/MCSE: Windows 2000 Professional Study Guide

Only in My Dreams

Only in My Dreams

Art Facilitation for Special Needs Populations

Art Facilitation for Special Needs Populations

Keeping Kids in the Home and out of the System

Keeping Kids in the Home and out of the System

Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera

Comprehensive Pediatric Hospital Medicine, Second Edition

Comprehensive Pediatric Hospital Medicine, Second Edition

Parents' Guide to Teen Health

Parents' Guide to Teen Health

MOUS

MOUS

Certification Circle MOUS

Certification Circle MOUS

The Food Lover's Companion to Portland

The Food Lover's Companion to Portland

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