Leland William Howard's Books

Portrait of Betsy

By: Betsy Howard,Leland William Howard

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She wasnt a dog anyone wanted. Bald from the nape of her neck to the tip of her tail, she was a scrawny little black dog with little to recommend herself to anyone other than the little tricks she used to perform to amuse people. A loser dog. But then, I wasnt a person anyone wanted either. A loser in the eyes of the world. A neer do well named Jamie Fairchild, who, at the age of forty-one, had tried his luck in many places and invariably had failed. For twenty years, I had become a stranger even to the members of my own immediate family. I didnt want a dog. I wasnt even looking for one. But God has a way of intervening, regardless of our hopes, dreams, and personal wills, not necessarily giving one what one wants but what one needs. Th ey tole me you needed me, Betsy told me. Who told you? My superior offi cers, she smiled, elevating her chin toward heaven. Th ings hasnt been goin so well with ya these past twenty years. I hear tell ya had big dreams once, but you went bust, was homeless jes like me fer awhiles. I also hear tell them folks of yourn aint much of a family. But then, mine twerent neither. I hears ya likes adventure, aint afeerd of takin risks. I aint either. I also hear tell ya likes to perform. I does too. But ya lost your confi dence along the way. Well, Im here to give it back to ya. Before long, Betsy was putting me through my paces. Ah-ten-tion! shed bark at me. Th ats what our C.O. always barked at the fellas I worked with in New Guinea. Saunders was his name. Man, he was a doll, but he could also be one mean sonofabitch, let me tell ya. When Saunders barked them orders, them guys all shot up straight as ramrods. Shoulders up, ass in, chest out. Now, lissen up, Pop. Ah-ten-tion! Git that chin up! What goods it doin hangin down thataways on your collarbone? Well, no one would be able to cuff me under it if its hanging down. Lissen, Pop, she would say. No ones gonna cuff you under the chin. And if they does, Ill take care of em so good, they wont need to wear no shoes! No one messes with a Marine. Not if they know whats good for em. Now lissen up! Chin up! Shoulders back! Ass in! Awkward as these unaccustomed positions felt to me, I complied with her commands. Yeah, her muzzle widened into a grin. Th ats more like it, Daddy. If Betsy had set me onto the road of physical exercise, she also corrected my posture. If it hadnt been for the disciplines that she imposed upon me, Id now be a walking question mark. Why are ya walkin with your shoulders down on your chest? shed bark. You wanna be a hunchback one day? No, I said. Th en stand straight and stop hangin your head, she said. How are ya ever goin to see where youre a-goin lookin down at the ground all the time? You look at the ground when you sniff , Id say. Yeah, but thats only to get the smell of direction. Its in the dog world what you call a map in the human one. But ya caint go nowheres by always lookin at the map. Time comes when youve gotta keep your eye on the road. Th is was the army now, and I had become Private Jamie to Sergeant Betsy. When I would slump down into that easy chair, one of whose armrests she had completely disemboweled, and had sunk into those pointless ruminations about what I should or should not have done so many years before, Betsy would approach my feet and deposit at them the tug o war rope, fall back on her rear haunches, her big brown eyes shining with excited anticipation, her muzzle dropped open in an eager smile. Come on, Dad, lets play. Oh, please, not now, Betsy, Id say. Oh yes, now, she insisted. Come on. What goods settin there goin over things you caint do nuthin bout? When you does stuff like this, youre like me when a fl ea gets on my tail and I keep tryin to bite it off of it, but the more I turns around, that tail jes keep gittin further away from me. Memories is like fl eas, Dad. You chew on em too long, they gets your tail sore. Ya gotta keep your eye on your star. Th eres one up yonder thats yourn and yourn alone. Keep your eye on it, and it wont be forgettin ya. You jes take a hold on my tail, Pop, and Ill take ya to your highest dreams.

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833

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ISBN 10

1456726234

ISBN 13

9781456726232

Pirouettes Get No Applause in Goldengrove

By: Leland William Howard

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Pirouettes Get No Applause in Goldengrove

By: Leland William Howard

To the other passengers aboard a transatlantic ocean liner, Katharine Monahan might seem like a typical sixteen-year-old American girl on her way to study in a Junior-Year-Abroad program. What they don't know is that her family physician has given her only a year to live. Desperate to realize every dream she's ever had, she has left family, school, and friends in New Orleans to live in the only place she believes she truly belongs: Paris, France. But the Paris of 1986 proves not to be the Paris of Piaf, Chevalier, and Colette. Language and cultural barriers, hard as they may be, will prove the least of the crises she will face. Lonely and alienated in her newly adopted home, she finds solace and companionship with a congregation of expatriate American artists and misfits at Lost Generation Bookstore. Shadowed by the consciousness of her own mortality and driven by a panic-stricken desire to drink up as much experience as she can leads her into a number of bizarre relationships and even dangerous situations which challenge every moral, religious, and political belief she has ever held, but also expose the political and moral hypocrisy of those with whom she is involved. Among these is an expatriate American with heavy Marxist-Leninist leanings as well as a questionable past; a fashion designer with an equally questionable sexuality; a wealthy American businessman, who knows only how to wield power but is incapable of love, and a spoiled art student, whose immediate family prove to be a sample of French bourgeoisie life at its worst. Strengthened by her ordeals, she is suddenly overcome by a tragic new set of circumstances she cannot handle. Fleeing to the south of France, she is taken into the home of a wealthy Riviera couple, whose hospitality is inspired by motives less disinterested than they at first seem. A pilgrimage to Lourdes in the company of a kind yet worldly-wise young nun seems to promise a way out of her predicament. But upon her return to Paris, she encounters new pressures which eventually force her to make the most critical decision of her life: the choice between the ways of the world or the ways of the spirit.

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587

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ISBN 10

0759665486

ISBN 13

9780759665484

Understanding Architecture

Its Elements, History, and Meaning

By: Leland M. Roth

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Understanding Architecture

Its Elements, History, and Meaning

By: Leland M. Roth

This widely acclaimed, beautifully illustrated survey of Western architecture is now fully revised throughout, including essays on non-Western traditions. The expanded book vividly examines the structure, function, history, and meaning of architecture in ways that are both accessible and engaging.

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1193

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Routledge

Published Date

ISBN 10

042997521X

ISBN 13

9780429975219

Stupid American History

Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions

By: Leland Gregory

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Stupid American History

Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions

By: Leland Gregory

New York Times Bestseller: Welcome to the land of the free, the home of the brave—and, apparently, the dumb, bizarre, and gullible . . . Did you know that . . . *John Tyler was on his knees playing marbles when he was informed that Benjamin Harrison had died and he was now president of the United States *For reasons still unknown, Texas congressman Thomas Lindsay Blanton, a Presbyterian Sunday school teacher and prohibitionist, inserted dirty words into the Congressional Record in 1921—for which his colleagues officially censured him by a vote of 293-0 *Two US presidents were indentured servants—and one of them ran away and wound up with a $10 reward posted for his capture From Columbus to George W. Bush, the bestselling coauthor of America’s Dumbest Criminals leads us through the many mythconceptions of our nation’s history in this lively book, exposing lots of entertaining moments of idiocy and inanity along the time line.

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274

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Andrews McMeel Publishing

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ISBN 10

0740793543

ISBN 13

9780740793547

American Architecture

A History

By: Leland M. Roth

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American Architecture

A History

By: Leland M. Roth

More than fifteen years after the success of the first edition, this sweeping introduction to the history of architecture in the United States is now a fully revised guide to the major developments that shaped the environment from the first Americans to the present, from the everyday vernacular to the high style of aspiration. Eleven chronologically organized chapters chart the social, cultural, and political forces that shaped the growth and development of American towns, cities, and suburbs, while providing full description, analysis, and interpretation of buildings and their architects. The second edition features an entirely new chapter detailing the green architecture movement and architectural trends in the 21st century. Further updates include an expanded section on Native American architecture and contemporary design by Native American architects, new discussions on architectural education and training, more examples of women architects and designers, and a thoroughly expanded glossary to help today's readers. The art program is expanded, including 640 black and white images and 62 new color images. Accessible and engaging, American Architecture continues to set the standard as a guide, study, and reference for those seeking to better understand the rich history of architecture in the United States.

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1251

Publisher

Routledge

Published Date

ISBN 10

0429973837

ISBN 13

9780429973833

Racist, Not Racist, Antiracist

Language and the Dynamic Disaster of American Racism

By: Leland Harper,Jennifer Kling

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Racist, Not Racist, Antiracist

Language and the Dynamic Disaster of American Racism

By: Leland Harper,Jennifer Kling

“Hey, that was kind of racist.” “I'm not a racist! I have Black friends.” This exchange highlights a problem with how people in the United States tend to talk about racially tricky situations. As Racist, Not Racist, Antiracist: Language and the Dynamic Disaster of American Racism explores, such situations are ordinarily categorized as either racist or not racist (or, in other cases, as antiracist). The problem is, there are often situations that are racially not good, but that we do not want to categorize as racist, either. However, since we don’t have the language to describe this in-between, we are forced to fall back on the racist/not racist/antiracist trinary, which tends to shut down productive discussion. This is especially true for white people, who tend to take claims of racism—be they interpersonal or institutional—as a personal attack. This is problematic, not only because it means that white people never learn about their own racially troubling behaviors, but also because such fragility keeps them from being able to engage in productive discussions about systemic racial oppression. Leland Harper and Jennifer Kling demonstrate how expanding our racial vocabulary is crucial for the attainment of justice equally enjoyed by all.

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137

Publisher

Rowman & Littlefield

Published Date

ISBN 10

1793640432

ISBN 13

9781793640437

Strategic Management Simplified

What Every Manager Needs to Know about Strategy and How to Manage It

By: Sidney Leland Barton

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Strategic Management Simplified

What Every Manager Needs to Know about Strategy and How to Manage It

By: Sidney Leland Barton

I have "gone to school" on his research and have found his model to be a malleable process that is readily shaped to incorporate new concepts and ideas. This durability is testament to the value of Sid's work." -Don Bowers, Former CEO, Makino, Inc. Strategic Management Simplified is a handbook that is designed to help the reader achieve a critical balance so rare in business - keeping your actions tied to your strategy, making decisions with a reasonable amount of assessment, and doing both in a real time way which allows you to adjust to changing business conditions. The author uses the term strategic management versus strategic planning because the term "plan" implies a static (or point in time) exercise, while the term "management" suggests interaction and responsiveness to dynamic context. All kinds of plans can be developed to lead action, but they should be based on a strategy for the organization. The challenge is to actually manage the organization's strategy over time and to think strategically as you are doing it. This book provides an overview of the management policies and culture necessary for sound strategic planning to flourish in any organization and goes on to offer practical steps on how to create and implement: A strategic statement which can guide your organization's resource allocation decisions. A strategic management system which allows you and your staff to change your strategic statement over time as you challenge the assumptions upon which it is based.

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178

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iUniverse

Published Date

ISBN 10

144019419X

ISBN 13

9781440194191

Pirouettes Get No Applause in Goldengrove

By: Leland William Howard

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Pirouettes Get No Applause in Goldengrove

By: Leland William Howard

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587

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AuthorHouse

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0759665486

ISBN 13

9780759665484

Stupid History

Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions Through the Ages

By: Leland Gregory

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Stupid History

Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions Through the Ages

By: Leland Gregory

A treasury of historical hilarity from the New York Times-bestselling coauthor of America’s Dumbest Criminals! Why exactly is Paul Revere revered when it was Samuel Prescott who made the famous ride? Was the lightbulb really Thomas Edison’s bright idea? Bestselling author and former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory employs his masterful wit to expose historical myths, faux “facts,” strange events, and tales of human stupidity throughout history. You’ll learn that: * Magellan didn’t actually make it around the world * As a member of Parliament, Isaac Newton spoke only once, and it wasn’t exactly a statement of political brilliance for the ages * On April 24, 1898, Spain declared war on the U.S., thus starting the Spanish-American War—and then the U.S. declared war the very next day, but not wanting to be outdone, had the date on the declaration changed from April 25 to April 21 With these and many more stories, Leland Gregory once again highlights the funny side of history.

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274

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Andrews McMeel Publishing

Published Date

ISBN 10

0740792105

ISBN 13

9780740792106

Book's by Leland William Howard

Portrait of Betsy

Portrait of Betsy

Pirouettes Get No Applause in Goldengrove

Pirouettes Get No Applause in Goldengrove

Understanding Architecture

Understanding Architecture

Stupid American History

Stupid American History

American Architecture

American Architecture

Racist, Not Racist, Antiracist

Racist, Not Racist, Antiracist

Strategic Management Simplified

Strategic Management Simplified

Pirouettes Get No Applause in Goldengrove

Pirouettes Get No Applause in Goldengrove

Stupid History

Stupid History

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