Judy R. De Wit's Books

Understanding Abusive Church Leadership

What It Looks Like and How It Debilitates the Life and Spirit of Church Members

By: Judy R. De Wit

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Understanding Abusive Church Leadership

What It Looks Like and How It Debilitates the Life and Spirit of Church Members

By: Judy R. De Wit

Abuse in the church is real. The place where one expects to find love, inspiration, and healing can become the very place where harm and destruction occur. Sadly, pastors and church leaders can bring abuse to their people through the use of a rigid and harsh approach to leadership. Other leaders are indifferent about what happens at church. When legalism and self-righteousness dominate or permissiveness is pervasive, the church that God intended is destroyed. In Understanding Abusive Church Leadership: What It Looks Like and How It Debilitates the Life and Spirit of Church Members, author Judy R. De Wit presents a challenge to you to identify what kind of leadership your church uses. Once you determine its approach, you can determine what changes your church should make to enhance a healthier church environment one that leads to a better church for everyone. Christ's mandate for His Church is for it to be a place of healing, restoration, and recovery. Everyone should feel safe to be a member. Understanding Abusive Church Leadership seeks to equip you to help your church to serve God as He intended.

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Page Count

123

Publisher

iUniverse

Published Date

ISBN 10

147592674X

ISBN 13

9781475926743

How You Became You (And Why You Do the Things You Do)

How Abusive Parenting Styles Debilitate Children

By: Judy R. De Wit

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How You Became You (And Why You Do the Things You Do)

How Abusive Parenting Styles Debilitate Children

By: Judy R. De Wit

There are two common parenting styles with defined negative effects at two extremes: rigid and chaotic. Rigid parenting involves excessive rules, narrow expectations from parents for their children, and unreasonable punishments. Children raised in these conditions become adults who frequently suffer from anxiety, OCD, and perfectionism. They are often defensive and reactive, seeking out acceptance and approval from others In contrast, chaotic parenting offers few to no rules, allowing children to do whatever they want without boundaries or consequences and failing to help them discover their strengths and capabilities. These children become adults who have identity issues, codependency, and poor boundaries. Their relationships often focus on becoming what they think others want them to be. By uncovering what kind of parenting you received, you can better understand who you are and why you do the things you do and be able to determine what changes you would like to make. Becoming a healthy person is about being the person God intended you to be. This guide can help you take the steps necessary to becoming that person.

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109

Publisher

iUniverse

Published Date

ISBN 10

1475926782

ISBN 13

9781475926781

Abuse of Power Through the Lens of the Christian Reformed Church

How Did the Dominie Get Too Much Control?

By: Dr. Judy R. De Wit

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Abuse of Power Through the Lens of the Christian Reformed Church

How Did the Dominie Get Too Much Control?

By: Dr. Judy R. De Wit

Abusive power by the pastors and church leadership is real and comes to our church members in many ways. It can be about church leader's violating boundaries, betraying trust, breaching confidentiality, and lying about what a church leader said or did. This book challenges the appeal process (council, classis, synod) of the Christian Reformed Church. Although the appeal process was not designed for abuse allegations, it is what is used when victims come forward with abuse of power allegations. Read about weaknesses of the appeal process and how change in the appeal process could create a safer church for all.

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Page Count

235

Publisher

iUniverse

Published Date

ISBN 10

1663226466

ISBN 13

9781663226464

Breaking the Silence Within the Church

Responding to Abuse Allegations

By: Judy R. De Wit

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Breaking the Silence Within the Church

Responding to Abuse Allegations

By: Judy R. De Wit

Where does abuse come from? is an interesting question that has a difficult answer. However, what this book offers may be the beginning point of finding the answer to that question. This book starts by helping you understand and identify what approach your parents used with you when you were a child. As you make that determination, you will begin to understand how you became you and why you do the things you do. Whether your parents approach was strict and harsh or was chaotic and slack, determining where your parents were on a continuum will help you understand how you became you. This book explains how certain parenting styles are likely to produce certain traits and characteristics you have as an adult. If Dad or Moms style of parenting was strict and harsh, you are likely to be a perfectionist, suffer from anxiety, and have OCD issues. Its possible you were emotionally and physically abused by them. If your parents had a chaotic style to parenting, its likely you face identity issues and have a difficult time living a structured life. Sexual abuse may have been a part of your growing up years. Along with this, this book shares how to understand leadership in the church using the same continuum. When church leaders use a harsh and strict way to lead the church, legalism will dominate. When church leaders are promiscuous and slack in their approach, chaos in the church reigns. For both parenting styles and church leadership styles, being in the middle of the continuum flexible - are where families and churches function best. This book provides a step-by-step process for councils and elders boards should they be faced with having to respond to abuse allegations by a church leader. When councils and elder boards are faced with uncertainty about how to proceed, this book shows how to respond to the complainant, the accused, their families and the entire congregation if such a thing did happen. Determining truth, establishing evidence, investigating allegations, and make determinations of what to do are explained in this book. Christs mandate for His Church is about bringing healing and restoration to His broken world. The church is never to be an agent of harm or abuse. As leaders, filling that mandate is critical and crucial in obedience to Him. This includes addressing and responding to abuse when it happens in your faith community. Abuse in the church is real. Abuse in our families is real. No matter what denomination or affiliation you belong to, abuse is happening. Your church is no exception. So church leaders, what are you going to do when allegations of abuse by one of your church leaders comes to your council table? Your journey about what God wants you to do in your response may begin by whats found in this book. Judy R. De Wit

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Page Count

134

Publisher

iUniverse

Published Date

ISBN 10

1450270603

ISBN 13

9781450270601

Book's by Judy R. De Wit

Understanding Abusive Church Leadership

Understanding Abusive Church Leadership

How You Became You (And Why You Do the Things You Do)

How You Became You (And Why You Do the Things You Do)

Abuse of Power Through the Lens of the Christian Reformed Church

Abuse of Power Through the Lens of the Christian Reformed Church

Breaking the Silence Within the Church

Breaking the Silence Within the Church

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