Cover letters are all the same. They're useless. You write the same lies over and over again, listing the store-bought parts of yourself that you respect the least. God knows how they tell anyone apart, but this is how it's done. And then one day a car comes out of nowhere, and suddenly everything changes and you don't know if he'll ever wake up. You get out of bed in the morning, and when you sit down to write another paint-by-numbers cover letter, something entirely different comes out. You start threatening instead of begging. You tell impolite jokes. You talk about your childhood and your sexual fantasies. You sign your real name and you put yourself honestly into letter after letter and there is no way you are ever going to get this job. Not with a letter like this. And you send it anyway.
Jackie's mother is a ghosht that only Jackie can see, while Ann's mother and sister have turned into violent creatures that must be kept in the basement. Up the road, Charlie and his blind dog live in a building haunted by a headless ghost.
Jackie's mother is a ghosht that only Jackie can see, while Ann's mother and sister have turned into violent creatures that must be kept in the basement. Up the road, Charlie and his blind dog live in a building haunted by a headless ghost.
Summary: Four teenage heroes for hire--Chris, Wallow, Beth, and Danny--warp from galaxy to galaxy, saving alien races with the power of their emotions.
Combining two novellas into one volume, this collection explores the effects of prejudice and the ramifications of violence with a slightly unhinged sense of humor and unexpected tenderness. Lockpick Pornography, originally published in 2005, is a gender-queer adventure story that was not widely available until now. We All Got It Coming presents the experiences of a young couple dealing with the aftermath of an act of violence. From kidnapping the son of a "family values" politician to violent confrontation, these are characters who fight back.
A precisely crafted, darkly humorous portrait of a family in mourning SundayÕs father is dying of cancer. TheyÕve come home to Malagash, on the north shore of Nova Scotia, so he can die where he grew up. Her mother and her brother are both devastated. But devastated isnÕt good enough. Devastated doesnÕt fix anything. Sunday has a plan. SheÕs started recording everything her father says. His boring stories. His stupid jokes. Everything. SheÕs recording every single ÒI love youÓ right alongside every ÒCould we turn the heat up in here?Ó ItÕs all important. Because Sunday is writing a computer virus. A computer virus that will live secretly on the hard drives of millions of people all over the world. A computer virus that will think her fatherÕs thoughts and say her fatherÕs words. She has thousands of lines of code to write. Cryptography to understand. Exploits to test. She doesnÕt have time to be sad. Her father is going to live forever.
Cinderella's stepmother and two stepsisters treat her like dirt. Each and every day, they force her to clean their clothes, cook their meals, and only give her rags to wear and crumbs to eat. But each night, in secret and in shadows, Cinderella trains to be a ninja! More than anything, Cinderella yearns to become the Prince's personal bodyguard. When the opportunity to prove her worth to the Prince finally arrives in the form of an invitation to a royal costume ball, Cinderella's stepmother won't let her go! But this time around, Ninja-rella isn't going to take "no" for an answer . . .
Cover letters are all the same. They're useless. You write the same lies over and over again, listing the store-bought parts of yourself that you respect the least. God knows how they tell anyone apart, but this is how it's done. And then one day a car comes out of nowhere, and suddenly everything changes and you don't know if he'll ever wake up. You get out of bed in the morning, and when you sit down to write another paint-by-numbers cover letter, something entirely different comes out. You start threatening instead of begging. You tell impolite jokes. You talk about your childhood and your sexual fantasies. You sign your real name and you put yourself honestly into letter after letter and there is no way you are ever going to get this job. Not with a letter like this. And you send it anyway.
A collection of bitterly hilarious job application letters. Applying for a job is stupid. It is a demeaning, humiliating exercise in learning to grovel in front of faceless strangers. Everyone who has ever sent a job application letter has felt the urge, the temptation to say what they really think. To say something completely insane, or to be brutally honest. With 2007's Overqualified, Joey Comeau acted on those urges and delivered a book collecting his cover letters. "It's sad and fragmented and, in places, funny," the L.A. Times said. But even after the dozens of insane, hilarious, and sometimes strangely sad job application letters, he still didn't get the job. So he's at it again. A person needs to work, you know? But he's had to step things up a bit. Were the letters not insane enough? Was he not sad or stupid enough? Did he not threaten to bite as many CEOs as he should have? There's only one way to find out: OVERQUALIFIEDER.
A precisely crafted, darkly humorous portrait of a family in mourning SundayÕs father is dying of cancer. TheyÕve come home to Malagash, on the north shore of Nova Scotia, so he can die where he grew up. Her mother and her brother are both devastated. But devastated isnÕt good enough. Devastated doesnÕt fix anything. Sunday has a plan. SheÕs started recording everything her father says. His boring stories. His stupid jokes. Everything. SheÕs recording every single ÒI love youÓ right alongside every ÒCould we turn the heat up in here?Ó ItÕs all important. Because Sunday is writing a computer virus. A computer virus that will live secretly on the hard drives of millions of people all over the world. A computer virus that will think her fatherÕs thoughts and say her fatherÕs words. She has thousands of lines of code to write. Cryptography to understand. Exploits to test. She doesnÕt have time to be sad. Her father is going to live forever.
Combining two novellas into one volume, this collection explores the effects of prejudice and the ramifications of violence with a slightly unhinged sense of humor and unexpected tenderness. Lockpick Pornography, originally published in 2005, is a gender-queer adventure story that was not widely available until now. We All Got It Coming presents the experiences of a young couple dealing with the aftermath of an act of violence. From kidnapping the son of a "family values" politician to violent confrontation, these are characters who fight back.
Slinger writes a humour column for the "Toronto Star" newspaper. Here he has collected the best of those columns. 1985 winner of the Stephen Leacock Memorial Medal for Humour.
Cinderella's stepmother and two stepsisters treat her like dirt. Each and every day, they force her to clean their clothes, cook their meals, and only give her rags to wear and crumbs to eat. But each night, in secret and in shadows, Cinderella trains to be a ninja! More than anything, CinderellaÊyearns to becomeÊthe Prince's personal bodyguard. When the opportunity to prove her worth to the Prince finally arrives in the form of an invitation to a royal costume ball, Cinderella's stepmother won't let her go! But this time around, Ninja-rella isn't going to take "no" for an answer . . .
Summary: Four teenage heroes for hire--Chris, Wallow, Beth, and Danny--warp from galaxy to galaxy, saving alien races with the power of their emotions.
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