Godzilla’s in a twelve-step program. A soul-sucking Mummy stalks Elvis and John F. Kennedy. Joe Bob Briggs has a moral dilemma: If your girlfriend turns zombie on you, what do you do? And that’s the tame stuff. In this red-hot collection from world-champion Mojo storyteller Joe R. Lansdale, you’ll find his best, most outrageous stories. The high priest of Texan weirdness does it all: horror, mystery, satire, suspense, and even Westerns. Prepare to be offended, shocked, and cackling like a crazed redneck. Featuring five Bram Stoker Award–winning stories, this career retrospective contains some of Lansdale’s rarer work, his nonfiction forays into drive-in theaters and B-movies, and the novella Bubba Ho-Tep, later made into a cult-classic major motion picture. Come on in—the weirdness is fine.
Now a Tubi original film starring Peter Dinklage and Juliette Lewis, this rip-roaring adventure set at the dark dawn of the East Texas oil boom is the perfect introduction to Joe R. Lansdale, whose work has been called "as funny and frightening as anything that could have been dreamed up by the Brothers Grimm — or Mark Twain" (New York Times Book Review). Jack Parker thought he'd already seen his fair share of tragedy. His grandmother was killed in a farm accident when he was barely five years old. His parents have just succumbed to the smallpox epidemic sweeping turn-of-the-century East Texas -- orphaning him and his younger sister, Lula. Then catastrophe strikes on the way to their uncle's farm, when a traveling group of bank-robbing bandits murder Jack's grandfather and kidnap his sister. With no elders left for miles, Jack must grow up fast and enlist a band of heroes the likes of which has never been seen if his sister stands any chance at survival. But the best he can come up with is a charismatic, bounty-hunting dwarf named Shorty, a grave-digging son of an ex-slave named Eustace, and a street-smart woman-for-hire named Jimmie Sue who's come into some very intimate knowledge about the bandits (and a few members of Jack's extended family to boot). In the throes of being civilized, East Texas is still a wild, feral place. Oil wells spurt liquid money from the ground. But as Jack's about to find out, blood and redemption rule supreme. In The Thicket, award-winning novelist Joe R. Lansdale lets loose like never before, in an action-packed adventure that's equal parts True Grit and Stand by Me.
“Lansdale’s best known—and frequently most disturbing—stories . . . sanctified in the blood of the walking Western dead and righteously readable.” —The Austin Chronicle From the award-winning master of mojo storytelling, spinner of over-the-top yarns of horror, suspense, humor, mystery, science fiction, and even the Old West comes the first “true best of Lansdale” anthology. Sanctified and Chicken-Fried brings together a unique mix of well-known short stories and excerpts from his acclaimed novels, along with new and previously unpublished material. In this collection of gothic tales that explore the dark and sometimes darkly humorous side of life and death, you’ll meet traveling preachers with sinister agendas, towns lost to time, teenagers out for a good time who get more than they bargain for, and gangsters and strange goings-on at the end of the world. Out of the blender of Lansdale’s imagination spew tall tales about men and mules, hogs and races, that are, in his words, “the equivalent of Aesop meets Flannery O’Connor on a date with William Faulkner, the events recorded by James M. Cain.” “He may be violent, gruesome and shocking, but Lansdale is also one of the greatest yarn spinners of his generation: fearless, earthy, original, manic and dreadfully funny . . . If you’re new to Lansdale, not easily shocked or offended, Sanctified and Chicken-Fried is a good place to jump in and hang on for a crazy ride off the rails.” —The Dallas Morning News
From the Edgar Award-winning author of the Hap and Leonard series, a hard-boiled novel set in 1960s Texas in which a no-nonsense car salesman faces a tempting decision, a dangerous deal, and an alluring affair. Ed Edwards is in the used car business, a business built on adjusted odometers, extra-fine print, and the belief that "buyers better beware." Burdened by an aging, alcoholic mother constantly on his case to do something worthier of his lighter skin tone and dreaming of a brighter future for himself and his plucky little sister, Ed is ready to get out of the game. When Dave, his lazy, grease-stained boss at the eponymous dealership Smiling Dave's sends him to repossess a Cadillac, Ed finally gets the chance to escape his miserable life. The Cadillac in question was purchased by Frank Craig and his beautiful wife Nancy, owners of a local drive-in and pet cemetery. Fed up with her deadbeat husband and with unfulfilled desires of her own, Nancy suggests to Ed -- in the throes of their salacious affair -- that they kill Frank and claim his insurance policy. It is a tantalizing offer: the girl, the car, and not one, but two businesses. Ed could finally say goodbye to Smiling Dave's, and maybe even send his sister to college. But does he have what it takes to see the plan through? Told with Joe Lansdale's trademark grit, wit, and dark humor, More Better Deals is a gripping tale of the strange characters and odd dealings that define 1960s East Texas.
This Edgar Award winner is "equal parts morality tale and page-turning thriller" (Denver Post)—classic American storytelling in its truest, darkest, and most affecting form, with echoes of William Faulkner and Harper Lee. Its 1933 in East Texas and the Depression lingers in the air like a slow moving storm. When a young Harry Collins and his little sister stumble across the body of a black woman who has been savagely mutilated and left to die in the bottoms of the Sabine River, their small town is instantly charged with tension. When a second body turns up, this time of a white woman, there is little Harry can do from stopping his Klan neighbors from lynching an innocent black man. Together with his younger sister, Harry sets out to discover who the real killer is, and to do so they will search for a truth that resides far deeper than any river or skin color.
Mark Twain meets classic Stephen King -- a bold new direction for widely acclaimed Edgar Award winner Joe R. Lansdale. May Lynn was once a pretty girl who dreamed of becoming a Hollywood star. Now she's dead, her body dredged up from the Sabine River. Sue Ellen, May Lynn's strong-willed teenage friend, sets out to dig up May Lynn's body, burn it to ash, and take those ashes to Hollywood to spread around. If May Lynn can't become a star, then at least her ashes will end up in the land of her dreams. Along with her friends Terry and Jinx and her alcoholic mother, Sue Ellen steals a raft and heads downriver to carry May Lynn's remains to Hollywood. Only problem is, Sue Ellen has some stolen money that her enemies will do anything to get back. And what looks like a prime opportunity to escape from a worthless life will instead lead to disastrous consequences. In the end, Sue Ellen will learn a harsh lesson on just how hard growing up can really be.
In the middle of a cyclone, beautiful, red-haired Sunset Jones shoots her husband Pete dead when he tries to beat and rape her. To Camp Rapture’s general consternation, Sunset’s mother-in-law arranges for her to take over from Pete as town constable. As if that weren’t hard enough to swallow in depression era east Texas, Sunset actually takes the job seriously, and her investigation into a brutal double murder pulls her into a maelstrom of greed, corruption, and unspeakable malice. It is a case that will require a well of inner strength she never knew she had. Spirited and electrifying, Sunset and Sawdust is a mystery and a tale like nothing you’ve read before.
Lansdale is an immense talent."—Booklist. Small-town juvenile delinquents, Pentecostal snake-handlers, zombies, psychopaths, and assorted freaks populate these witty and gritty tales of horror by a master of the genre. The suspenseful, action-packed tales range from visions of a post-apocalyptic world ("Tight Little Stitches in a Dead Man's Back," "On the Far Side of the Cadillac Desert with Dead Folks") to alternative histories ("Trains Not Taken," "Letter from the South, Two Moons West of Nacogdoches"). A dozen other stories of gruesome violence and utter depravity include "The Pit," in which car trouble develops into a life-or-death struggle; "Night They Missed the Horror Show," involving an encounter with ornery rednecks; and "Hell Through a Windshield," in which a drive-in movie provides a one-way ticket to another dimension. By Bizarre Hands, Joe R. Lansdale's debut collection of short stories, was nominated for a Bram Stoker Award for Best Fiction, and two of its tales have received Stoker awards. Lansdale's novella Bubba Ho-Tep was adapted into a 2002 film, and his Hap and Leonard detective stories inspired the Sundance Channel television series. This edition features an Introduction by science-fiction novelist Lewis Shiner and an Afterword by horror fiction author Ramsey Campbell. Suggested for mature readers. www.doverpublications.com
A SundanceTV miniseries starring Michael K. Williams (The Wire), James Purefoy (Rome), and Christina Hendricks (Mad Men). Hap and Leonard don’t fit the profile. Hap Collins looks like a good ’ol boy, but his liberal politics don’t match. After a number of failed careers, Hap has discovered that what he’s best at: kicking ass. Vietnam veteran Leonard Pine is even more complicated: black, conservative, gay . . . and an occasional arsonist. Join in on Hap and Leonard's gritty Texan crime-fighting adventures, including four pieces of bonus material only found in this edition. The Dixie Mafia and small-time crooks alike had best be extremely nervous.
Jack Catcher's parents are dead--his mom died of a sickness and his dad of a broken heart--and he wants to get out of Oklahoma, where dust storms have killed everything green and hopeful. So when former classmate Jane Lewis and her little brother, Tony, show up in his yard with plans to steal a dead neighbor's car and make a break for Texas, Jack doesn't need much convincing to go with them. But a run-in with one of the era's most notorious gangsters puts a crimp in Jane's plan, and soon the three kids are riding the rails among hoboes, gangsters, and con men, racing to warn a carnival-wrestler-turned-bank-robber of the danger headed toward him faster than a black blizzard on the prairie horizon. This road trip adventure is a colorful ride through Depression-era America.
Arguably (and who doesn’t like to argue?) the world’s bestselling cult author, Joe R. Lansdale is celebrated across several continents for his dark humor, his grimly gleeful horror, and his outlaw politics. Welcome to Texas. With hits like Bubba Ho-Tep and The Drive-In the Lansdale secret was always endangered, and the spectacular new Hap and Leonard Sundance TV series is busily blowing whatever cover Joe had left. Backwoods noir some call it; others call it redneck surrealism. Joe’s signature style is on display here in all its grit, grime, and glory, beginning with two (maybe three) previously unpublished Hap and Leonard tales revealing the roots of their unlikely partnership. Plus… A hatful and a half of Joe’s notorious Texas Observer pieces that helped catapult him from obscurity into controversy; and “Miracles Ain’t What They Used to Be,” Lansdale’s passionately personal take on the eternal tussles between God and Man, Texas and America, racism and reason—and religion and common sense. And Featuring: Our Outspoken Interview, in which piney woods dialect, Bible thumpery, martial arts, crime classics and Hollywood protocols are finally awarded the attention they deserve. Or don’t.
A psychological thriller in the vein of Dean Koontz and Lee Child, Hot in December is a fast-paced and entertaining novella from the author of Edge of Dark Water, The Bottoms and the Hap and Leonard novel series. One death is only the beginning for Tom and his wife Kelly who witness a fast-driving car killing their innocent neighbor in the street. Tom describes the driver to the police, but there is something he didn't anticipate: the driver belongs to a powerful criminal gang in East Texas. The criminals make Tom and his family a target, abducting his wife Kelly and threatening his daughter. Now Tom must look to old war comrades for help in a brutal and unforgiving struggle to rescue his wife and bring justice to the notorious gang. A storyteller in the great American tradition of Ambrose Bierce and Mark Twain. - Boston Globe Joe R. Lansdale has a folklorist's eye for telling detail and a front-porch raconteur's sense of pace. - The New York Times Book Review One of the greatest yarn spinners of his generation: fearless, earthy, original, manic and dreadfully funny. - Dallas Morning News Reading Joe Lansdale is like listening to a favorite uncle who just happens to be a fabulous storyteller. - Dean Koontz Joe R. Lansdale's fellow Texans would call Joe a 'straight shooter.' That's what makes his writing so good-no BS involved. Joe's work is alternately scary, funny as hell, disturbing, but always (and most importantly) memorable. - Bruce Campbell
Edgar Award-winner and fan favorite Joe R. Lansdale is back with Hap and Leonard's latest caper: investigating the disappearance of a revivalist cult leader's daughter. Hap and Leonard are an unlikely pair-Hap, a self-proclaimed white trash rebel, and Leonard, a tough-as-nails black gay Vietnam vet and Republican-but they're the closest friend either of them has in the world. Hap is celebrating his wedding to his longtime girlfriend, Brett (who is also Hap and Leonard's boss), when their backyard barbecue is interrupted by a couple of Pentecostal white supremacists. They're not too happy to see Leonard, and no one is happy to see them, but they have a problem and only Hap and Leonard will take the case. Judith Mulhaney's daughter, Jackrabbit, has been missing for five years. Well, she's been missing from them for five years, but she's been missing from everybody, including the local no-goods who ran with her, for a few months. Despite their misgivings about Judith and her son, Hap and Leonard take the case. It isn't long until they find themselves mixed up in a revivalist cult that believes Jesus will return flanked by an army of lizard-men -- solving a murder to boot. With Lansdale's trademark humor, whip-smart dialogue, and plenty of ass-kicking adventures to be had, you won't want to miss Hap and Leonard's latest.
Dark moments seem like sweetness and light to lovers who dance to the beat of a dying heart. Ugly is beauty to them, horror is their laughter, and souls, dark or bright need not apply.
What do the disembodied head of Buffalo Bill Cody, Annie Oakley, Frankenstein, the Tin Man, Captain Nemo, the Flying Dutchman, and the inestimable Ned the Seal have in common? Find out as they embark upon a spectacular set of nonstop steampunk adventures. For the first time, two epic chronicles, Zeppelins West and Flaming London, inscribed by a courageous young seal on his trusty notepad, are collected together in one volume. Leap from a flaming zeppelin with the stars of the Wild West Show in a desperate escape from an imperial Japanese enclave. Wash up upon the island of Doctor Moreau, in mortal danger from his unnatural experiments (and ignorant that Dracula approaches by sea). Unite with Jules Verne, Passpartout, and Mark Twain on a desperate voyage to the burning streets of London, which are infested with killer squid from outer space courtesy of H. G. Wells’s time machine. It’s a raucous steam-powered locomotive of shoot-’em-up Westerns, dime novels, comic books, and pulp fiction, as only Lansdale, the high-priest of Texan weirdness, could tell.
Hap and Leonard is now a Sundance TV series starring James Purefoy and Michael Kenneth Williams. Hap Collins and Leonard Pine find mucho trouble, this time in Mexico, when they come face to face with a nudist mobster, his seven-foot strong-arm, a octogenarian knife-touting fisherman, and, somehow, an armadillo. When Hap Collins saves the life of his employer's daughter, he is rewarded with a Caribbean Cruise, and he convinces his best friend Leonard Pine to come along. However, when the cruise sails on without them, stranding them in Playa del Carmen with nothing but their misfortune and Leonard's new ridiculous hat, the two quickly find themselves drawn into a vicious web of sordid violence. When they return to East Texas, they find that trouble has beaten them back, and when trouble's around it doesn't take long for Hap and Leonard to find it.
Hap and Leonard investigate a racially motivated murder that threatens to tear apart their East Texas town. While Hap, a former 60s activist and self-proclaimed white trash rebel, is recovering from a life-threatening stab wound, Louise Elton comes into Hap and Leonard's PI office to tell him that the police have killed her son, Jamar. Months earlier, a bully cop pulled over and sexually harassed Jamar's sister, Charm. The officer followed Charm over the course of the next couple of months, leading Jamar to videotape and take notes on the cop and his partner. The next thing Louise hears, Jamar got in a fight and is killed in the projects by local hoods. It doesn't add up: he was a straight A student, destined for better things, until he began to ask too many questions about the racist police force. Leonard, a tough black gay Vietnam vet and Republican, joins Hap in the investigation, and they stumble upon the racial divides that have shaped their Eastern Texas town. But if anyone can navigate these pitfalls and bring the killers to justice, it's Hap and Leonard. Filled with Lansdale's trademark whip-smart dialogue, colorful characters, and relentless pacing, Rusty Puppy is Joe Lansdale at his page-turning best.
In the field of country noir--the dark side of rural and small-town America--Lansdale staked his claim to East Texas with The Nightrunners. A '66 Chevy bears down on the countryside, with a carful of vicious teenagers and evil of Biblical proportions, in this terrifying morality tale of sex and violence. Here's what Publishers Weekly just said in its starred review: "Lansdale's The Nightrunners (1987)...set new standards for the depiction of graphic violence and is probably the best novel of its type between Psycho and The Silence of the Lambs ... This upsetting look at the human capacity for evil breaks with crime novel conventions when a supernatural element enters the story in the form of the grotesque deity known as the God of All Things Sharp...The Nightrunners retains its ability to awe and to horrify.
A classic coming-of-age murder mystery with corrupt cops, segregation, ice cream and missing lesbians It is the summer of 1958 in Dewmont, Texas, a town the great American postwar boom passed by. The kids listen to rockabilly on the radio and waste their weekends at the Dairy Queen. And an undetected menace simmers under the heat that clings to the skin like molasses. . . For thirteen-year-old Stanley Mitchell, the end of innocence comes with his discovery of the mysterious long-ago demise of two very different young women. In his quest to unravel the truth about their tragic fates, Stanley finds a protector in Buster Lighthorse Smith, a black, retired Indian-reservation cop and a sage on the finer points of Sherlock Holmes, the blues, and life's faded dreams. But not every buried thing stays dead. And on one terrifying night of rushing creek water and thundering rain, an arcane, murderous force will rise from the past to threaten the Stanley and everything he holds dear. Vintage Lansdale, A FINE DARK LINE brims with exquisite suspense, powerful characterizations, and the vibrant evocation of a lost time.
Hap and Leonard is now a Sundance TV series starring James Purefoy and Michael Kenneth Williams. If there’s one thing Hap Collins and Leonard Pine like, it’s trouble—and they especially like getting paid to find it. So when their friend and sometime boss Marvin Harmon asks the boys to look into a cold-case double homicide, they’re happy to oblige. It turns out that both victims were set to inherit some serious money, and one of them ran with an honest-to-goodness vampire cult. The more closely Hap and Leonard look over the crime-scene photos, the more trouble they see. The image of a red devil’s head painted on a tree is just the beginning—a little research turns up a slew of murders with that same fiendish signature. And if things aren’t weird enough, Leonard has taken to wearing a deestalker cap . . . Will this be the case that finally sends Hap over the edge?
Here are 16 unforgettable stories from Stoker Award-winner Joe R. Lasdale. Features such classics as "Dog, Cat, and Baby", where three creatures on all fours wage all-out war, and "The Job", featuring an unemployed Elvis impersonator--with a knife. Includes an introduction by the author.
Containing stories from the dark side, the light side, and all shades in between, this is a masterful collection by one of America's rising storytellers. Storylines include that of a woman who discovers grisly horror on a mountain road, a plastic love doll who becomes liberated, and a baby's diaper that is possessed by aliens.
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