Clearly one redneck dictionary was not enough. And it’s no wonder. The South is positively bursting at the seams with colorful words and turns of phrases in this distinct dialect. Now men and women from all across this great land can further fine-tune their fluency and showcase their confidence when speaking to folks who hail from below the Mason-Dixon line. Need a crash course in this truly inspired lingo? Well, Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary II puts the “vern” in “vernacular,” offering up a veritable gumbo of must-be-known selections: infamy (in’fe-mé) adv. and n. another person’s intent to exact physical punishment. “Ever since I stole his girlfriend, Bobby’s had it infamy.” assassin (e-sas’-en) v. to disrespect verbally. “Don’t just stand there assassin me, boy–go clean your room!” honor student (än’-er stu’-dent) prep. and n. to be positioned over, and supported by, a pupil. “Yeah, I knew piano lessons after midnight was weird, but I still didn’t suspect nothin’ till I caught her honor student.” So open your ears and activate your funny bone with this hilarious, practical, and playfully illustrated reference. It’s like having your very own personal dialect coach–one who doesn’t mind getting picked up and read and laughed at and passed along to friends.
Jeff Foxworthy clearly knows how to talk gooder redneck, especially after two runaway bestsellers on the subject. But for those folks who still need to get in touch with their inner redneck, here’s the third handy reference with even more indigenous idiomatic ingenuity. With Jeff as your guide, you’ll get all the finer points of speaking proper redneck. Here’s your chance to pep up your parlance by learning how to use words and phrases like an• ar• chist (an-ar-kist´), conj., n., and v. additionally, having pressed one’s lips to another’s as an expression of affection or sensual desire. “Anarchist her ma, anarchist her sister, anarchist her gramma, anarchist her other sister, anarchist her other other sister, and then her dad walked in and . . .” i• Pod (í-päd), n. and v. a personal reference to having groped or roughly handled another person or an object. “IPod her for about twenty minutes before I realized she was my mother-in-law.” uri• nal (yer-en-el), n. and v. a declaration concerning the current status or location of the person being spoken to. “If you think urinal lot of trouble now, just wait till Daddy gets home.” No matter where you hail from, Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary III will make you sound like you were born far below the Mason-Dixon line. So shove aside that extra roll of single-ply to make space for this book in your family’s reading room, because three is definitely the charm.
America's favorite Southern-fried, stand-up comedian and TV sitcom star Jeff Foxworthy brings his humor to the page in this riotous laugh-out-loud book. In No Shirt. No Shoes. . . . No Problem!, Foxworthy examines the hilarity of growing up, love, sex, crazy families, roommates, friendship, mooning, having a crush on your cousin, and the real stories behind many of his favorite Redneck jokes. So get ready: You're in for a helluva good time!
In this hilarious collection of poems, comedian Jeff Foxworthy creates a neighborhood filled with fun, family, friends, and more. Here you'll meet Cousin Lizzy, Uncle Ed and Aunt Foo Foo, cows with horns that don't go beep, dads in sweaters, also sheep. From the thrill of flying to the imaginary planet Woosocket to bonding with a friend over a shared hatred of spinach, these poems capture the very essence of being a kid. Filled with sly humor and always affectionate, "Dirt on My Shirt" is sure to delight kids, big and little, everywhere.
Brings together all three of the reference guides to redneck culture and linguistics into a single A-to-Z resource that offers new definitions for such words as "iota," "ostrich," and "sandwich.
Hey, you! The one holding the book. Have you ever seen a volume like this? Well, whether you realize it or not, it’s the one you’ve been waiting for. Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary will teach you how to speak this unique Southern dialect fluently. Whether you’re blue-collar or hoity-toity, swimming in cash or betting your bottom dollar, a little bit country or a lot of city slicker, this practical reference to redneck words and turns of phrases will give you hours of laughs. So expand your horizons and learn another language with this fun, instructive, and hilariously illustrated book as your guide. After all, speaking redneck is a heck of a lot easier than speaking French!
Designed to generate impulse sales, titles in this line are carefully balanced for gift giving, self-purchase, or collecting. Little Books may be small in size, but they're big in titles and sales.
Hey, you! The one holding the book. Have you ever seen a volume like this? Well, whether you realize it or not, it’s the one you’ve been waiting for. Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary will teach you how to speak this unique Southern dialect fluently. Whether you’re blue-collar or hoity-toity, swimming in cash or betting your bottom dollar, a little bit country or a lot of city slicker, this practical reference to redneck words and turns of phrases will give you hours of laughs. So expand your horizons and learn another language with this fun, instructive, and hilariously illustrated book as your guide. After all, speaking redneck is a heck of a lot easier than speaking French!
Clearly one redneck dictionary was not enough. And it’s no wonder. The South is positively bursting at the seams with colorful words and turns of phrases in this distinct dialect. Now men and women from all across this great land can further fine-tune their fluency and showcase their confidence when speaking to folks who hail from below the Mason-Dixon line. Need a crash course in this truly inspired lingo? Well, Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary II puts the “vern” in “vernacular,” offering up a veritable gumbo of must-be-known selections: infamy (in’fe-mé) adv. and n. another person’s intent to exact physical punishment. “Ever since I stole his girlfriend, Bobby’s had it infamy.” assassin (e-sas’-en) v. to disrespect verbally. “Don’t just stand there assassin me, boy–go clean your room!” honor student (än’-er stu’-dent) prep. and n. to be positioned over, and supported by, a pupil. “Yeah, I knew piano lessons after midnight was weird, but I still didn’t suspect nothin’ till I caught her honor student.” So open your ears and activate your funny bone with this hilarious, practical, and playfully illustrated reference. It’s like having your very own personal dialect coach–one who doesn’t mind getting picked up and read and laughed at and passed along to friends.
Brings together all three of the reference guides to redneck culture and linguistics into a single A-to-Z resource that offers new definitions for such words as "iota," "ostrich," and "sandwich.
Jeff Foxworthy clearly knows how to talk gooder redneck, especially after two runaway bestsellers on the subject. But for those folks who still need to get in touch with their inner redneck, here’s the third handy reference with even more indigenous idiomatic ingenuity. With Jeff as your guide, you’ll get all the finer points of speaking proper redneck. Here’s your chance to pep up your parlance by learning how to use words and phrases like an• ar• chist (an-ar-kist´), conj., n., and v. additionally, having pressed one’s lips to another’s as an expression of affection or sensual desire. “Anarchist her ma, anarchist her sister, anarchist her gramma, anarchist her other sister, anarchist her other other sister, and then her dad walked in and . . .” i• Pod (í-päd), n. and v. a personal reference to having groped or roughly handled another person or an object. “IPod her for about twenty minutes before I realized she was my mother-in-law.” uri• nal (yer-en-el), n. and v. a declaration concerning the current status or location of the person being spoken to. “If you think urinal lot of trouble now, just wait till Daddy gets home.” No matter where you hail from, Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary III will make you sound like you were born far below the Mason-Dixon line. So shove aside that extra roll of single-ply to make space for this book in your family’s reading room, because three is definitely the charm.
You Might Be A Redneck if... You use a fishing license as a form of I.D. Your screen door has no screen. You've been on TV more than once describing what the tornado sounded like. You have a black eye and a hickey at the same time. You ever waved at traffic form your front porch wearing just your underwear. Containing more than 2,000 entries with more than 200 illustrations, You Might Be A Redneck if...This Is The Biggest Book You've Ever Read will be a must-own book for die-hard fans of Jeff Foxworthy. Creatively packaged and attractively priced, this book also features more than 1,500 entries that have never been published in book form.
For Jeff Foxworthy, two things could always be counted upon--good laughs and good food. The laughs proved to be fertile soil for young Jeff, star of a hit NBC sitcom. The good food came from Jeff's father, "Big Jim". Now the pair present a collection of incredible recipes--more than 125 in all--for Southern and Cajun dishes, plus outdoor cooking, wild game recipes, and more.
You might be a redneck if… You've ever left Santa Claus a PBR and a Slim Jim. You've ever done your Christmas shopping at a truck stop. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights. Your nativity scene has people wearing camouflage. Your outdoor Christmas decoration has a misspelled word. You ever gift wrapped a tire. Foxworthy's version of this Christmas classic is one of the most played, and best-selling Christmas records every season. This book will be a wonderful holiday gift for the redneck in all of us.
New York Times bestselling humorist Jeff Foxworthy offers a hilarious illustrated guide to having the most fun possible at work while doing the least—without getting fired The better you are at your job, the longer your hours are going to be. And how many people on their deathbeds say “I wish I had spent more time at the office?” With that in mind, Jeff Foxworthy asks you to embrace the fact that you do stink at work (or secretly want to). How to Really Stink at Work will help you relieve yourself of all that responsibility and accountability—in sections like: • “Becoming Unfireable” (Get your boss drunk and record it) • “AvoidingWork”(When all else fails—that fire alarm’s not there for nothing!) • “Alienating Colleagues” (Nothing says “stay away from that guy” like a grossly inappropriate secret Santa gift) Filled with laugh-out-loud illustrations, How to Really Stink at Work is the funniest guide to not-getting-ahead you’ll ever read.
A trip to Silly Street is just the thing for any kid with a case of the sillies. With its endless selection of merriments—including unusual pets, wacky hats, balloon rides, bubble gum–chewing crows, and more—it's the perfect place for expressing your zany side and laughing out loud. These fourteen poems, hand selected from Jeff Foxworthy's popular Silly Street, will tickle new readers who are ready to read themselves to silliness and back again.
Foxworthy takes a stab at careers and the job market in his latest "Redneck" collection. "No Redneck Left Behind" is a perfect gift for redneck loved-ones or readers ready to embrace their inner redneck.
As a longtime golfer, Jeff Foxworthy has learned something important about the grand auld game: It’s not who has the highest score, it’s who has the least fun playing it. And now, in his hilarious primer How to Really Stink at Golf, Foxworthy shares his invaluable tips for a lifetime of horrible drives and putts. • Get into the right frame of mind to play truly awful golf. Food poisoning or a killer hangover might be just the ticket to a robust three-digit score. • Try to get to the course promptly at tee time to avoid the hassle of warming up: “You’re only gonna hit five good shots in the course of the day; why waste even one on the driving range?” • The surefire way to screw up a great drive? As you walk to the tee, keep telling yourself, “Don’t screw up your drive.” If bad golf’s your goal, stress is your best friend. • Avoid fun. “Fun = relaxed = low scores . . . and that’s something we want to avoid at all cost. If you have a good hole, shake it off.” • Perhaps the most important element: Embrace the fact that you do stink at golf. Cheating. Cursing. Avoiding fairways. Reckless cart driving. How to Really Stink at Golf covers it all, from selecting the correct putter to use on a 385-yard drive to prolonging your stay in the sand trap to picking the perfect foursome for spectacularly bad golf (“you, your ex-wife, your girlfriend, your wife”). With Jeff Foxworthy as your guide, even a scratch golfer can add ten, twenty, maybe thirty strokes to his or her score–and possibly more if you attempt to play the back nine, too.
In this hilarious collection of poems, comedian Jeff Foxworthy creates a neighborhood filled with fun, family, friends, and more. Here you'll meet Cousin Lizzy, Uncle Ed and Aunt Foo Foo, cows with horns that don't go beep, dads in sweaters, also sheep. From the thrill of flying to the imaginary planet Woosocket to bonding with a friend over a shared hatred of spinach, these poems capture the very essence of being a kid. Filled with sly humor and always affectionate, "Dirt on My Shirt" is sure to delight kids, big and little, everywhere.
The comedian and barbecue sauce entrepreneur--a man who takes his grilling seriously--delivers this hilarious collection of recipes for ribs, chicken, hot dogs, fish, hamburgers, pork chops, and numerous marinades.
From the team behind the "New York Times" bestseller "Dirt on My Shirt" comes another hilarious collection of whimsical poems. Foxworthy invites youngsters to visit a place called Silly Street--a place where anything goes. Full color.
In award-winning author Jeff Soloway’s timely new Travel Writer Mystery, Jacob Smalls sets sail for dangerous waters—a cruise headlined by the billionaire businessman who became president of the United States. Carlton Chomp, the notorious right-wing business tycoon and television personality, shocked the world by becoming the president—and then shocked it again by resigning after only two years in office. After months in exile, the ex-president is returning to public life by headlining a cruise to a private island in the Bahamas. Travel writer Jacob Smalls is assigned to review the cruise. He brings along an undercover ally: his mother. Together they plan to investigate the ultimate in political mysteries. Why did Chomp resign? And why is he making a comeback? On the day of the cruise, the departure city is enflamed with massive protests, counter-protests, and violence on both sides. When one of the ship’s passengers is found dead that evening, Jacob is faced with an even more urgent question: Was Chomp himself behind the murder, or was it one of his desperate political enemies? The search for the truth will take Jacob and his mother off the ship and into the dangerous tropical landscape of the cruiseline’s private island, where Chomp and his supporters will finally reveal what they’ve been planning all along. Praise for The Travel Writer “Travel doesn’t just broaden the mind; it can also get you killed. Sassy, cynical Jacob Smalls is an ideal guide for journeying into unknown territories.”—Christopher Fowler, author of the Peculiar Crimes Unit Mystery series
This volume picks the most memorable lines from all six previous books and offer approximately 25 percent new material, including 150 previously unpublished You Might Be A Redneck If... punch lines. Let the laughter roll on.
For readers who see the romance and beauty of correctly spelling a girlfriend's name on a tattoo, serving fast food at a wedding reception, and watching a wife's delivery video backwards for laughs, this gift book from Jeff Foxworthy is perfect.
Here's a close-up look at the qualities that make the red-neck male special. The book covers all the essentials, including his fashion sense, personal hygiene, choice of automobiles, mating rituals, prowess at entertaining, conversation skills, preferred leisure time activities, eating and drinking habits, and child-rearing expertise. How many women does it take to change a redneck? Only one, if her aim is good. Depends on how she looks, how much she weighs, and if her family has any property to hunt on. Four'one to hold his beer, two to undo his overalls, and one to pull on a clean pair of under-drawers. Twelve . . . in a jury box. Nobody knows'it's never been done. Armed with this book, any redneck can learn to conduct himself so that no woman or her mother would ever consider asking him to change.
You might be a redneck if… You've ever left Santa Claus a PBR and a Slim Jim. You've ever done your Christmas shopping at a truck stop. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights. Your nativity scene has people wearing camouflage. Your outdoor Christmas decoration has a misspelled word. You ever gift wrapped a tire. Foxworthy's version of this Christmas classic is one of the most played, and best-selling Christmas records every season. This book will be a wonderful holiday gift for the redneck in all of us.
Over the years, "Writer's Guide to Book Editors, Publishers, and Literary Agents has helped thousands of writers just like you get their books published. With the best and most up-to-date listings of key book publishing insiders, "Writer's Guide gets you past the reject piles and into the hands of the right people. Nowhere else will you find the detail, the insight, the depth. Nowhere else will you find the solid inside information. "Writer's Guide is your key to book publishing success. It gets you inside. It gets you noticed. Your talent will do the rest. "Beats the pants off "Writer's Market." --Michael Werner, coauthor of "Databases for Businesses and "Using Lotus 1-2-3 "This guide started my book publishing career." --Marcos McPeek Villatoro, author of "A Fire in the Earth, They Say That I Am Two, and "Walking to La Milpa "The finest lead source that I've ever seen. A must buy for every writer, published or not!" --Derek Savage, author of "The Second Coming and "The Dancer "Invaluable information, from query letter to book proposal. This book has made my dreams come true." --Eileen Oster, author of "The Healing Mind "This book got my foot in the door." --Wynn Goldsmith, writer "A masterpiece. I have never found so much practical information in this type of book before." --Walter Lambert, author of "Healing the Trauma of Divorce "As a writer and literary agent, this book has been invaluable." --Mary N. Oluonye, O-Squared Literary Agency "Jeff Herman has crammed a generous helping of information and advice into this invaluable book." --Paul Nathan, "Publishers Weekly ""Writer's Guide haseclipsed both "Literary Market Place and "Writer's Market as a source of projects for our agency. At least a third of our sales last year came as a result of this book." --Michael Snell, Michael Snell Literary Agency About the Author /Jeff Herman is founder of The Jeff Herman Literary Agency, one of New York's leading agencies for writers. He has sold hundreds of titles and represents dozens of top authors.
The classic reference guide for book authors has been completely revised and updated with the names and specific areas of interest of thousands of editors at over 500 book publishing houses.
The Key to Unlocking Your Writing Success This ultimate writer's reference connects you to who's who in the publishing industry. Inside, you'll find the names, addresses, phone numbers, and e-mail and Web addresses for hundreds of top editors and agents, plus essays from industry insiders who reveal the secrets to big-time success. With the most up-to-date information on an industry that's constantly changing, this new edition offers everything you need to get past the slush piles and into the hands of the real players in the publishing field, including how to write attention-grabbing book proposals and thrive off rejection. Now, you hold the keys to getting published.
You Might Be A Redneck if... You use a fishing license as a form of I.D. Your screen door has no screen. You've been on TV more than once describing what the tornado sounded like. You have a black eye and a hickey at the same time. You ever waved at traffic form your front porch wearing just your underwear. Containing more than 2,000 entries with more than 200 illustrations, You Might Be A Redneck if...This Is The Biggest Book You've Ever Read will be a must-own book for die-hard fans of Jeff Foxworthy. Creatively packaged and attractively priced, this book also features more than 1,500 entries that have never been published in book form.
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