Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best. Sooz, a 13 yr old girl from Surrey has become the Dark Mistress of Dirk's other worldly kingdom, the Darklands. Thanks to the Ring of Power given to her by Dirk, his minions recognise her as their ruler. Sooz immediately sets about redecorating Dirk's Dark Tower to the taste of a young girl. But Sooz has to face her toughest challenge when an army of fanatical paladins and orcs gather to march against her. Despite their centuries of hostility to each other, they prefer to form an alliance rather than accept Sooz's new regime. And what of Dirk? He continues on slaving away at school, plotting ways to rescue Sooz. Eventually he is able to advise her on life in the Darklands and Sooz is able to hold back the fanatical paladins.
Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the boy of a weedy schoolboy, returns in a darkly hilarious adventure set in the most ghoulish school you'll encounter this side of the Darklands ... Fourth in the brilliant series that began with the Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning DARK LORD: THE TEENAGE YEARS, also chosen as one of the Sunday Times's 100 Modern Children Classics. Perfect for fans of Philip Reeve and David Walliams.
Dirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best. Fear me, o miserable worm! I, the Great Dirk, take up my pen once more to record the utter misery that is SCHOOL. My sworn enemy, Hasdruban the White, has infiltrated Whiteshields School and seeks vengeance on me. Naturally, I will triumph. But it is the Dirkest Hour indeed... BUY THIS BOOK OR SUFFER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING: -Being struck with a Blast of Ravening Flame -Banishment to the Slave Pits of Never Ending Toil -Torment by the Hewer of Limbs THE CHOICE IS YOURS. MWA HA HA!
Harry was just an ordinary teenage boy from Croydon when he was abducted by aliens and accidentally became the captain of their starship. His quest to get back home to Earth continues - but now he's acquired an alien 'son' and a new spacecraft, and he's being pursued by an eight-foot robot bounty hunter... Could this be a galaxy too far for Harry? Another hilarious story from the Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning author of the DARK LORD series.
An old score shall be settled. The Legion of the Sword of Doom shall conquer the City of Irsmuncast and bring its people into slavery. I swear by Sorcerak to kill you with my own hands.'" Your perilous quest for the sceptre and orb has been a glorious success. Once again, your skills have ensured your rule of Irsmuncast. But now you return home to a city of death - overrun by evil hordes and threatened by an even greater army to come. Honoric, leader of the dreaded Legion of the Sword of Doom, has vowed to destroy you and undo all you have done for your people. Are you strong enough to save your war-torn kingdom? THE WAY OF THE TIGER is the role-playing adventure classic now revised and expanded for today. You choose the skills and martial arts moves to defeat your enemy, gaining knowledge and honing your abilities to use in further books. "Are you ready for the Way of the Tiger?
RACE AGAINST TIME "This classic series of choose-your-own style gamebooks returns in a new edition. Your decisions change the course of the story. The fate of the world is in your hands!" In the thirty-first century you are Falcon, special agent of the Temporal, Investigative and Monitoring Executive, one of a highly-trained cadre of operatives with exceptional talents and skills. Your job is to identify and neutralize threats to the very fabric of history, travelling back and forwards through time on missions that call for a combination of ingenuity, stealth, force and surgical precision. One slip and you could change the course of events beyond repair - and even delete your own existence! Your current mission: to stop the renegade TIME Lord whose changes to the past are threatening to throw the course of future history into total chaos. Be careful, as you have to investigate the most powerful individuals in your own agency! Will you be able to identify the traitor and bring them to justice in time? Your quest will take you deep into the tumult of bygone days, and your only weapon will be your blaster and the powers of your mind with which you - and you alone - can change the destiny of mankind.
Evil Dark Lord tries to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands when an arch-foe transports him to a small town, into the body of a thirteen-year-old boy.
After acclimating to the inane customs of the blathering human fools, Dirk Lloyd has managed to make contact with his home in the Darklands. Unfortunately, his powers have betrayed him yet again. His new, and dare he say it, good friend Sooz has been transported to his Iron Tower of Despair, where she awaits what is sure to be a slow and painful end. Little does Dirk know that Sooz has formed her own alliances as the new Dark Mistress of his former kingdom. Dirk must find a way to get Sooz home, especially before his arch-nemesis Lord Hasdruban vanquishes Dirk once and for all. In this equally hilarious and clever sequel, Dirk attempts to regain his evil stranglehold on the Darklands and survive another year in school.
A great way to have fun and build brain power, Brain Teasers offers a variety of games to delight and challenge even the most advanced puzzler. Brain Teasers shows off some outrageously fun new mindbenders, like anasearches (a combination of an anagram, a crossword, and a word search), numberlockers (think of a crossword puzzle with numbers instead of words), and alphabetics (a miniature crossword puzzle that uses each letter of the alphabet exactly once). Perfect for anyone who sits down with the New York Times crossword puzzle every morning or works through Sudoku puzzles on the way home, this book is guaranteed to excite your mind and jump-start your brain.
Winner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize! Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help. And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands... Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to. Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan... But that's for book 2 Roald Dahl Prize winner, 2012.
Avenger's comrade, Glaivas, is somewhere in the Rift. Its darkened tunnels hold danger and death at every turn--and lead into the very center of Orb. The spectacular new role-playing series that projects the reader into blood-tingling Ninja excitement.
The reign of your father the Loremaster - the reign of the Usurper after him - these were but as the blinking of an eye to me and so it shall be with your reign. It matters not; the final outcome will be no different.' " Your skills as a warrior have made you triumphant! You have toppled the cruel Usurper to take your rightful place as Overlord of Irsmuncast. Crowds of exuberant citizens chant your name in joyous song. But beware, for the adventure has just begun. As Overlord you are now playing a treacherous game of intrigue, deception and danger. Threats come from within and without the walls of your great city, and you will need your wits as well as your strength to survive. The fate of a people and a kingdom rests in your hands. THE WAY OF THE TIGER is the role-playing adventure classic now revised and expanded for today. You choose the skills and martial arts moves to defeat your enemy, gaining knowledge and honing your abilities to use in further books. "Are you ready for the Way of the Tiger?
Learn the Smart Way to Invest, Make Money and Generate a Passive Income in the Stock Market The Stock Market can be a 'Financial Game Changer' for anyone that invests their time to learn about how to do it the Smart-Way, but sadly, many miss out on the great money-making machine of the stock market. But why? They don't know where to start. It all seems too complicated! They hear that the stock market is 'too risky' and are afraid to invest. They are unsure how much to invest, where to invest and when to invest. They have invested before; they lost their money and are cautious about trying again. There is too much terminology to understand. If you want to make money as a beginner in the stock market, you need to learn the investment principles that the experts teach that will provide a long-term and passive income that you can depend upon. Jamie Thomson brings together the exact methods that he's been teaching to stock investors for over 20 years, and now you too can benefit from his vast knowledge and experience from the 'Beginners Guide to the Stock Market'. This book will teach you all the strategies you need to start while avoiding the costly mistakes that beginners do make. In this book, you will discover: The 7 Essential Money Guiding Principles to know before you invest How to create your online broking account The secrets to picking stocks that are about to 'Take-Off' What stocks are best to buy and when How to develop an investment plan regardless of your age How to keep your portfolio safe during stock crashes The 7 Biggest Mistakes that beginners do make and how to avoid them How to create a stock investing automation system so you can 'set and forget'. How to generate a long-term passive income to secure your financial freedom Learn how to invest in stocks with CONFIDENCE regardless of market movements Plus much, much more As a bonus, you will also have access to your very own stock market and financial plan template to plan out your long-term investment strategy. Even if you have never traded before, this book will have you ready to take action and create real wealth by investing in the Stock Market. Scroll up and click BUY NOW to get your money journey started today.
A choose-your-own-adventure style gamebook that gives the reader a choice of different quests and adventures. The book is open-ended and provides an almost unlimited number of plot lines. You can be a warrior, explorer, priest, wizard, thief or bard. The books in the series are inter-connected, allowing you to travel all across the Fabled Lands. In this volume you get to sail over the oceans, experiencing fantastic adventures to rival those of Odysseus, Jason and Sinbad.
Clint Eastwood meets Night of the Living Dead in a gothic fantasy horror with cowboys. In this interactive novel, YOU make choices for all three leading characters, and YOU determine the outcome of the story. "It doesn't get more immersive than this.
Thank you for visiting our website. Would you like to provide feedback on how we could improve your experience?
This site does not use any third party cookies with one exception — it uses cookies from Google to deliver its services and to analyze traffic.Learn More.