Isaac Stoltzfuss had seen many changes and put up with much since his boyhood on the Stoltzfuss family farm. But the Russian satellite, as described in the pages of the Lancaster New Era, was just too much.
When a plan to celebrate the town of Dexter, Pennsylvania's Civil War history threatens to derail a Congressman's political career, steps must be taken! A comic tale by short story master Jacob Hay.
It was Lucius Belkamp’s wretched misfortune to be everywhere mistaken for a spy, although this was hardly surprising. Anyone with a cover story so unimpeachable as Lucius Belkamp’s simply had to be a spy, in the considered view of quite a number of exceedingly astute chiefs in those shadowy departments whose business is espionage and its prevention.
Semyon Grovanov, a Ukranian national who attended an elite spy school, is to settle down in the United States with a spy "wife" using forged Canadian passports. But will the lure of American life prove too much?
Of all the Trucial States that lie along the southern coast of the Persian Gulf, none is bleaker and more forbidding in aspect than the miniscule Sheikhdom of Qad al Akh. It is not oil which accounts for the relative prosperity of Qad al Akh. This mini-nation’s sole export is Cannabis sativa...
A Dagbur Agradamian espionage tale. This time, the press takes note of his surprising appearance at a business meeting of one of Agradamian's oil companies, which shocked the rival company that was trying to take it over...
It is possible to suggest that Her Britannic Majesty’s Foreign Office was moved more by ancestral instinct than by its computers in selecting Sir Vyvyan Bultivant, to be the Governor General of the Pacific island kingdom of Ceruliana, which just might be the closest thing to a Paradise on this Earth. He was just the man for the job. For nearly two decades prior to his appointment Sir Vyvyan had assisted materially in the dissolution of his nation’s once-mighty Empire. Did a newly emergent former Colony need advice on how to establish a Parliament? Did it need words of wisdom on how to set up its own equivalent of New Scotland Yard? Bultivant was there with the answers.
A cold-war comedy of errors ensues, when an experimental Agamemnon XI ICBM lands in the small town of Dexter, Pennsylvania. The small town of Dexter experiences panic at the missile's landing, of course. Mike Brewer, the editor for Dexter's newspaper convinces the town's mayor, Leon Gladfelter, to phone a night duty officer at the Pentagon... But the Department of Defense won't accept responsibility for the error, so Mayor Gladfelter exercises the town's right of emminent domain and declares it the property of Dexter. Further, he appoints Brewer as the agent responsible for disposal of said property...even if they have to sell it to a foreign government!
When free-lance writer Nick Saltire arrives in the town of Textilia, North Carolina, he little suspects he is destined to do for this charming little backwater what Sherman did for Georgia. Nick, familiar only with history as it is written in books and presented by Yankee publishers, is only too willing to go along with the commonly held notion that the Civil War ended at Appomattox. Indeed, his primary interest in history may be said to be limited to the dates that appear on his paychecks. Unfortunately, history is now his job. For Pierre Mindleberg, a textile tycoon who virtually ovens Textilia, lock, stock, and cracker barrel, has decided there can be no finer contribution to the town's Civil War Centennial than an account of the noble part played in the Great Conflict by the Mindleberg Textile Mills. There is, however, one small stumbling block--a Mindleberg ancestor whose role in the war could not be called exactly heroic. It could be called many things--but definitely not heroic. Undeterred, and despite distractions--distractions that take the forms of a pretty research assistant and a local heiress and a buxom carhop--Nick plunges into the past and emerges with a bundle of mysteriously coded letters. In them lies a revelation that transforms a dead reprobate into a Gallant Son, spurs the town to a frenzy of enthusiastic activity, and, most important to Nick, opens up new and spacious vistas of personal gain. That is, until a certain history professor arrives (from the North, of course) with information that, if revealed, can make the Stars and Bars hang at half-mast and can turn "Dixie" into a dirge. More than that, Nick realizes as he views the fanatic light burning in southern eyes, it can easily make him the final casualty of the Civil War.
The first case in the hitherto unreported criminal inquiries of the firm of Wracke & Rheuwin, Private Investigators. (Will certain eminent groups of devotees chuckle with glee or gnash their teeth in rage? We're betting on the former.)
“Mr. Amberley,” the Captain continued, raising his gaze from the floor and staring into nothingness, “I have to inform you that this ship is presently in the control of pirates.” The Chief Purser took an instinctive step forward, felt immediately the pressure of a gun in his back, and was aware that a third man, the one who had locked the door, was still behind him.
Omega Agradamian was not bored, not in the least. From time to time it pleased him to think of himself as a kind of modern-day Captain Nemo. More realistically, he knew that he had discovered the ultimate antidote to boredom, and it therefore delighted him that his friends should think he was forever engaged in a mindless pursuit of pleasure...
The editor of a strait-laced national magazine for "young adults" is bound to be a clean-living, high-minded individual -- especially one who has just been appointed to a presidential committee investigating juvenile delinquency. But then, you haven't met Freddie Lazenby. When an old army buddy turned sociologist asks if he may store some boxes in Freddie's attic, our hero innocently complies. In no time at all, Freddie discovers that his friend's unspecified scientific project is disastrously Kinsey-like: the material contained in the boxes represents the hottest collection of pornography north of Mexico. Even more appalling, his sociologist friend has made arrangements to add to his collection, using Freddie as a middleman. Chaos prevails: the Committee sets its sights on obscene literature as the major cause of juvenile crime, and Freddie -- haplessly wheeling and dealing in the pornography trade -- finds himself in the absurd position of a man chasing himself. One fast, hilarious episode follows another as Freddie attempts to keep his shady associates at bay while concealing the terrible truth from his wife, his employers, and his fellow committee members. The result is mayhem and many a riotous moment.
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