Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that ‘it’s in the way that you tell them’, Dads – for the best part of forever – have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it’s telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say – jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers – but don’t tell your dad that, it’ll only encourage him!
Being a dad is a 365-day job. Let this nifty little book help you along the way, with a hilarious dad-related fact for every day of the year. Discover how 26 August is the anniversary of the car you probably learned to drive in, and stroke your smooth chin thoughtfully as you learn that 13 May is the day the electric shaver was invented. Find out when and where the first piece of flatpack furniture was invented (Ancient Greece, no less, and it was more of a temple than a wardrobe...), and, on 19 November, remember that there’s always a more incompetent parent than you as you recall the day a certain baby boy was dangled off a balcony. Packed with stories of dad derring-do, this book is the perfect buy for any dad you know, or someone who’s about to become one. Word count: 35,000
Railing against the world? Fed up with everything? In need of a hefty dose of cynical humour? Then Grumpy Old Git Jokes is the book for you. Straight from the mouths of the grumpiest gits our proud nation has to offer, this bumper collection contains hundreds of jokes on favourite grumpy subjects such as politics, religion, education and technology. It muses on the grump's least favourite people (including judges, bankers and lawyers – 'What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? About three pounds, including the urn'), and the perennial subjects of ageing ('Old age is always fifteen years older than what I am') and health ('All you've got is hypochondria.' 'Can you give me anything for it?'). This deliciously cynical, delightfully dour, mirthfully miserable book will help anyone indulge their inner grumpy old git.
A gripping story of endurance and the will to survive while facing the menace of a vile regime.The Soviet Union is approaching its endgame, when a couple make the bold decision to seek a better and safer life in the west. Doubts arise and are argued away until the groundwork is complete and seemingly foolproof. A minor and unforeseen flaw along the way throws panic and uncertainty into the planned journey, but there is no going back. Unexpected and truly surprising encounters make the attempted flight to freedom a fascinating and nail-biting drama.
What happened to the man with five legs? His trousers fit him like a glove. You can’t keep a good Dad joke down. At the Sunday lunch table, down the pub, at the workplace, dads all over the nation are still churning out the lamest, most pathetic jokes you’ve ever heard. And we’ve gathered them all in this book. Back by popular demand, Extremely Embarrassing Dad Jokes is an all-new collection of Dad joke favourites. With 1000 rib-tickling jokes for every occasion, this book makes it easier than ever to have a laugh – or, more likely, a groan – with Dad. Who drives round the West Country in a camper van? Tess of the Dormobiles. What do angry mice send one another in winter? Cross-mouse cards. Word count: 30,000
Disasters are terrible things: the sinking of the Titanic, the crash of the Hindenburg, the collapse of the Tay Bridge, etc. – not funny at all. But DadDisasters are a completely different kettle of fishfingers. From DIY debacles to motoring mishaps, your typical Dad is highly skilled in putting his foot in it in a variety of hilarious ways. Dad Disasters contains a wealth of stories from around the world illustrating the daft things Dads can get up to without even trying, and the disastrous situations famous Dads have created. Plus, a collection of the silliest things ever done by ordinary Dads to put their own stamp on family history. And, of course, no book for Dads would be complete without a sprinkling of jokes old and new about dopey Dads and their travails. Whether the Dad in your life is a seasoned veteran with all the campaign medals or a terrified new recruit who still doesn’t which way up the baby goes, this is the perfect book for him.
Insurance Claims, Damaged Equipment!" provides and opportunity for readers to better understand machinery and truck claims and to be comfortable in approaching the claim, supervising the file, and working those involved. Finding lost serial number, factors that influence values, and various options toward settlement are discussed. The book is written in everyday language and a brief glossary is included. As they delve into equipment claims, many Adjusting Office personnel should gain sufficient experience and recognition to include "Equipment and Truck Losses" in their range of competencies.
It's official: dads were put onto this planet to embarrass the rest of their families. This hilarious book is a spotter's guide to the innumerable ways Dad can achieve this, whether it's via ridiculous dancing, experimental facial hair, cringeworthy sportswear or putting his foot in it at funerals. Contains a wealth of highly useful information for the discerning dad, including countdowns of the most embarrassing things Dads say in wedding speeches, the fashion fads Dad really shouldn't have bothered with and the 10 signs that Dad is having a midlife crisis, plus a handy diagrammatic guide to dancing like a dad and Dad's guides to travel, cleaning, hobbies, oneupmanship and many things besides. With all this plus a liberal scattering of charts, lists and jokes and illustrated with action shots of dads doing the things they love to do, this book is ideal for the dad in your life, or for any unsuspecting man who's about to become one. Contains a wealth of highly useful information for the discerning dad, including countdowns of the most embarrassing things Dads say in wedding speeches, the fashion fads Dad really shouldn't have bothered with and the 10 signs that Dad is having a midlife crisis, plus a handy diagrammatic guide to dancing like a dad and Dad's guides to travel, cleaning, hobbies, oneupmanship and many things besides. With all this plus a liberal scattering of charts, lists and jokes and illustrated with action shots of dads doing the things they love to do, this book is ideal for the dad in your life, or for any unsuspecting man who's about to become one.
An insider's account of the Republican election machine reveals the practices of libel, spin, and misrepresentation that have affected campaign outcomes throughout the past decade, and traces how the author landed in federal prison for fraud.
All the fun of Portico's bestselling Strangest series, now in quiz form! Test your cricket knowledge with this handy book, packed with fun and challenging quiz questions based around the weirdest events from more than a century of cricketing history. Quiz categories include: Freak weather conditions Bad ball behaviour Streakers Time for tea The Ashes Cricket's great eccentrics Village green shenanigans Cricket quotations Whether you're testing your friends, practising for pub quizzes or just reading it in an armchair, this book will take your cricket knowledge to a whole new level.
Robert Oppenheimer was among the most brilliant and divisive of men. As head of the Los Alamos Laboratory, he oversaw the successful effort to beat the Nazis in the race to develop the first atomic bomb--a breakthrough that was to have eternal ramifications for mankind and that made Oppenheimer the "Father of the Atomic Bomb." But with his actions leading up to that great achievement, he also set himself on a dangerous collision course with Senator Joseph McCarthy and his witch-hunters. In "Robert Oppenheimer: A Life Inside the Center," Ray Monk, author of peerless biographies of Ludwig Wittgenstein and Bertrand Russell, goes deeper than any previous biographer in the quest to solve the enigma of Oppenheimers motivations and his complex personality. The son of German-Jewish immigrants, Oppenheimer was a man of phenomenal intellectual attributes, driven by an ambition to overcome his status as an outsider and penetrate the heart of political and social life. As a young scientist, his talent and drive allowed him to enter a community peopled by the great names of twentieth-century physics--men such as Niels Bohr, Max Born, Paul Dirac, and Albert Einstein--and to play a role in the laboratories and classrooms where the world was being changed forever, where the secrets of the universe, whether within atomic nuclei or collapsing stars, revealed themselves. But Oppenheimers path went beyond one of assimilation, scientific success, and world fame. The implications of the discoveries at Los Alamos weighed heavily upon this fragile and complicated man. In the 1930s, in a climate already thick with paranoia and espionage, he made suspicious connections, and in the wake of the Allied victory, his attempts to resist the escalation of the Cold War arms race led many to question his loyalties. Through compassionate investigation and with towering scholarship, Ray Monks "Robert Oppenheimer" tells an unforgettable story of discovery, secrecy, impossible choices, and unimaginable destruction.
The breadth of scientific and technological interests in the general topic of photochemistry is truly enormous and includes, for example, such diverse areas as microelectronics, atmospheric chemistry, organic synthesis, non-conventional photoimaging, photosynthesis, solar energy conversion, polymer technologies, and spectroscopy. This Specialist Periodical Report on Photochemistry aims to provide an annual review of photo-induced processes that have relevance to the above wide-ranging academic and commercial disciplines, and interests in chemistry, physics, biology and technology. In order to provide easy access to this vast and varied literature, each volume of Photochemistry comprises sections concerned with photophysical processes in condensed phases, organic aspects which are sub-divided by chromophore type, polymer photochemistry, and photochemical aspects of solar energy conversion. Specialist Periodical Reports provide systematic and detailed review coverage in major areas of chemical research. Compiled by teams of leading authorities in the relevant subject areas, the series creates a unique service for the active research chemist, with regular, in-depth accounts of progress in particular fields of chemistry. Subject coverage within different volumes of a given title is similar and publication is on an annual or biennial basis.
The breadth of scientific and technological interests in the general topic of photochemistry is truly enormous and includes, for example, such diverse areas as microelectronics, atmospheric chemistry, organic synthesis, non-conventional photoimaging, photosynthesis, solar energy conversion, polymer technologies, and spectroscopy. This Specialist Periodical Report on Photochemistry aims to provide an annual review of photo-induced processes that have relevance to the above wide-ranging academic and commercial disciplines, and interests in chemistry, physics, biology and technology. In order to provide easy access to this vast and varied literature, each volume of Photochemistry comprises sections concerned with photophysical processes in condensed phases, organic aspects which are sub-divided by chromophore type, polymer photochemistry, and photochemical aspects of solar energy conversion. Volume 34 covers literature published from July 2001 to June 2002. Specialist Periodical Reports provide systematic and detailed review coverage in major areas of chemical research. Compiled by teams of leading authorities in the relevant subject areas, the series creates a unique service for the active research chemist, with regular, in-depth accounts of progress in particular fields of chemistry. Subject coverage within different volumes of a given title is similar and publication is on an annual or biennial basis.
The breadth of scientific and technological interests in the general topic of photochemistry is truly enormous and includes, for example, such diverse areas as microelectronics, atmospheric chemistry, organic synthesis, non-conventional photoimaging, photosynthesis, solar energy conversion, polymer technologies, and spectroscopy. This Specialist Periodical Report on Photochemistry aims to provide an annual review of photo-induced processes that have relevance to the above wide-ranging academic and commercial disciplines, and interests in chemistry, physics, biology and technology. In order to provide easy access to this vast and varied literature, each volume of Photochemistry comprises sections concerned with photophysical processes in condensed phases, organic aspects which are sub-divided by chromophore type, polymer photochemistry, and photochemical aspects of solar energy conversion. Volume 34 covers literature published from July 2001 to June 2002. Specialist Periodical Reports provide systematic and detailed review coverage in major areas of chemical research. Compiled by teams of leading authorities in the relevant subject areas, the series creates a unique service for the active research chemist, with regular, in-depth accounts of progress in particular fields of chemistry. Subject coverage within different volumes of a given title is similar and publication is on an annual or biennial basis.
Edited by Ron Fortier & Van Allen Plexico - Here are seven new tales of Puritan swordsman, Gideon Cain the Demon Hunter by Scott Harris, Brian Zavitz, I. A. Watson, K.G. McAbee, James Palmer, David Wright and Van Allen Plexico. In the tradition of Robert E. Howard's "Solomon Kane," here is swashbuckling action at its finest. Cover art by Rob Davis & Shane Evans. Introduction by Kurt Busiek. Produced by Airship 27 Productions.
Events Management is the must-have introductory text providing a complete A-Z of the principles and practices of planning, managing and staging events. The book: introduces the concepts of event planning and management presents the study of events management within an academic environment discusses the key components for staging an event, covering the whole process from creation to evaluation examines the events industry within its broader business context, covering impacts and event tourism provides an effective guide for producers of events contains learning objectives and review questions to consolidate learning Each chapter features a real-life case study to illustrate key concepts and place theory in a practical context, as well as preparing students to tackle any challenges they may face in managing events. Examples include the Beijing Olympic Games, Google Zeitgeist Conference, International Confex, Edinburgh International Festival, Ideal Home Show and Glastonbury Festival. Carefully constructed to maximise learning, the text provides the reader with: a systematic guide to organizing successful events, examining areas such as staging, logistics, marketing, human resource management, control and budgeting, risk management, impacts, evaluation and reporting fully revised and updated content including new chapters on sustainable development and events, perspectives on events, and expanded content on marketing, legal issues, risk and health and safety management a companion website: www.elsevierdirect.com/9781856178181 with additional materials and links to websites and other resources for both students and lecturers
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