The Sturgeon General is an anthology of comedic writing, compiling short works of fiction and non-fiction and other miscellany for the hilarious good of all. Each issue features the work of a single comedy writer. This edition is a collection of non-fiction articles from writer Geoff Lemon. It includes his article from 2011 'You Shut Your Goddamn Carbon Taxin Mouth' – an hilarious rant against the nay-sayers of the proposed carbon tax, which was a viral phenomenon. The collection also includes an array of inspired and witty political and travel writing, including an epic series of misadventures in South America.
Save money and eat fresh with this hands-on guide to home-growing Growing you own produce is the only way to enjoy delicious, garden-fresh fruit and veg all year round. This practical manual gives you the lowdown on everything from finding the right tools and choosing which plants to grow, to nurturing your crops and bringing in your first harvest. The easy-to-follow advice will help you get started straight away and become a confident and successful kitchen gardener. • Get going with growing – discover which plants are best for you and how to make the most of your outdoor space • Prepare your plot – learn how to set up and maintain healthy beds for your fruit and vegetables • Grow tasty veg – choose your favourite veggies from asparagus and broccoli to courgettes, sweet corn and many more • Grow your own fruit salad – get quick results from fast-growing berries and learn to nurture slow-growing tree fruit and exotic greenhouse produce
National Winner for Gourmand World Cookbook Awards 2019 - Cocktails category From Geoff Dillon, founder of Dillon's Small Batch Distillers and leader of the craft distilling movement, a collection of cocktails for every season and recipes for the perfect snacks to enjoy with them. Grounded in a belief in using fresh ingredients, this must-have collection of cocktails offers impressive yet simple modern cocktails with an elegant vintage feel. The 100 recipes, divided by season, range from the classics, like a warm-weather Whisky Sour and a cool-weather Manhattan, to custom creations inspired by seasonal produce and local barkeeps. Imagine a glass filled with the fresh aroma of spring strawberries alongside the clean, crisp taste of lemon, with herbal notes of absinthe and a hint of rich sweetness from white port, then recreate this award-winning drink called the Royal Velvet at home. Quick and easy large batch recipes like Summer Sangria and Holiday Pomegranate Punch are sure to please a crowd, and snacks like Rosemary Maple Pecans, Roasted Cranberry Flatbreads, and Blackberry-Topped Brie will be the perfect complement to any cocktail. Whether you're craving a Plum Sparkler to refresh you on a sticky summer afternoon, or a Hot Toddy recipe to enjoy by the fire on a cold winter night, this complete collection of cocktails has the perfect recipe for every occasion and every season.
Tasting Table's Cooking with Friends: Recipes for Modern Entertaining is Geoff Bartakovics' and Todd Coleman's first cookbook from TastingTable.com, whose delicious content inspires more than three million foodies daily, features recipes for the new style of entertaining where everyone pitches in.
After a devastating end to a long-term relationship, Sheldon Wirth, now nearly thirty, wants nothing more than to forget the failures of his past. But just as he is readying himself to move on with his life, he is hit with shocking news: His life-long friend Dent Brown has been diagnosed with a rare but lethal bone marrow disease. Instead of seeking treatment, however, Dent disappears overseas, to the puzzlement of his friends from home. His departure forces Shel-his sanity deteriorating apace with his professional life-to reunite with his ex, rethink old prejudices, and reconnect with Dent on what is possibly the last trip they will ever take together. WE ARE ALL BIRDS! is a hilarious and often moving book about manhood, resilience and redemption. In a world that rewards selfishness over sacrifice and where perseverance is a lost virtue, Shel convinces himself that Dent holds the key to contentment-and puts his life on hold in search of something, anything, that might one day lead to happiness.
Never be stuck for a wicked line again! - the ultimate collection of insults Here is the biggest and best ever collection of insults and sharp retorts for when you just wish you could have thought of something faster. Editor Geoff Tibballs presents more than 5,000 come-backs, put-downs, snaps, insults, unadmiring quips and quotes, for every occasion. From the most elegant of studied insults to the wickedest of putdowns, from the language of the street to the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, from playground insults to sports, family and marriage jibes - here is every possible barb you could ever need, guaranteed to crack up all those around you. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? Your mother's so fat, she has her own area code. Are your parents siblings? Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice. Is there no beginning to your talents? You'd be out of your depth in a puddle. Don't you need a licence to be that ugly? I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my arse. I'd love to go out with you but I have to worm my dog.
The worst cookbook ever, packed with truly bizarre and utterly disgusting recipes from all over the world Ever since humankind produced its first foodie, the culinary world has dished up some staggering confections which could best be described as 'acquired tastes': dishes such as Virgin Boy Eggs (eggs soaked in the urine of prepubescent boys); live octopus, which clutches at the diner's tongue and throat as it is swallowed; and Beard Beer, made from the yeast found in facial hair. In northern Greenland, the Inuit are fond of cramming as many as 500 dead auks (small sea birds) into an old seal skin which they place under a large rock until the birds have fermented into what has rightly been described as a 'sticky, pungent, toxic, cheesy gloop'. Kiviak, as it is called, is eaten by biting off the birds' heads and sucking out the juices. The mighty Roman Empire was built on such delicacies as larks' tongues, stuffed thrush, boiled flamingo and grilled cow's womb, while the Tudors loved nothing more than a roast cockenthrice: the head and upper body of a pig carefully stitched onto the lower body and legs of a turkey. Today, for those with an adventurous mindset and a robust life insurance policy, there is no shortage of nauseating local delicacies to enjoy. In China, not only is tuna eyeball on the menu, but also yak penis (served whole). In Vietnam, one can enjoy the still-beating heart of a freshly-killed snake; in Iceland, raw puffin heart. In the Philippines, there is duck embryo to be had - like a Kinder Surprise . . . only containing a dead foetus instead of a toy. In Sardinia, they like nothing more than a nice bit of maggot-infested cheese; and the favourite tipple of Korean foodies is Ttongsul, a wine made from the fermented faeces of a child. Bon appetit!
The book continues the adventures of Oliver Cromwells top agent, Luke Tremayne. As Cromwells government faces conspiracies and uprisings from royalists, republicans, Catholics, religious extremists, and senior army officers, Luke is sent into Wales to assess the level of antigovernment activity and to solve the murder of a local magistrate. Several more murders follow, and in solving them, Luke confronts devious Welsh gentry, seductive women, a band of highwaymen, smugglers, an evil witch, and a major insurrection against the government.
The master watercolourist shares essential techniques for adding depth and realism to your watercolour paintings in this accessible guide. In Perspective Depth and Distance, watercolourist and teacher Geoff Kersey demonstrates how to use line, tone, colour, and detail to create captivating landscapes. With this practical guide, you will learn to capture the beauty of mist-draped mountains and dense woodlands. You will also learn to paint boats, buildings, and natural features that seem to recede into the distance. This volume includes seven step-by-step projects with inspiration and ideas for your own original landscapes. It also features techniques for linear and aerial perspective.
Nature has provided every creature that roams the earth a diet designed to sustain and maximize its life. What these diets are composed of is based on a creature’s location, climate, accessibility, and physical prowess. As humans, our ancient forefathers—and mothers—were raised and nourished in the same manner as the beasts that surrounded them. These Stone Age diets, now called Paleo diets, reflect the types of foods that nature intended us to eat. Unfortunately, we have lost touch with how nature intended us to live and mistakenly think we can eat anything sitting on our supermarket shelves. Paleo in a Nutshell is an eye-opening guide to restoring our health by eating the foods for which our bodies are designed to consume. Author Geoff Bond is a world-renowned scientist who has extensively researched forager societies of the past and present. What he has discovered is that our hunter-gatherer ancestors had never experienced the health disorders that plague us today. This is because their diets, environments, and daily activities were far more in touch with their bodies than our way of life today. Although our diet has become our most dysfunctional feature, other aspects of the Paleo lifestyle are essential to explore as well. In Part One of this book, we learn how and why our ancestors thrived and explore how things went wrong when we stopped behaving in agreement with our evolutionary past. In Part Two, we are provided with an “Owner’s Manual”—a guide to appropriate and healthy foods with which to fuel our bodies—and a step-by-step plan for implementing this way of eating. While you may no longer have time to hunt and forage for your food, this book offers modern and simple substitutions for you to use, as well as several delicious recipes. Written in simple-to-understand language, Paleo in a Nutshell is all you need to find your way back to a healthier and more natural way of living.
East London in the late 1950's, and George Bonner, begins work at 100 year old Empire Builder's Merchants discovering a world of corruption: ---"Alf spun around and slashed his attacker's face. 'Run George, fucking run'. The man screamed, holding his cheek."---"The sweat started to form on George's brow. The detective fixed him a big smiling gaze and waited. George, about ready to crack, wondered what to do. The bruise on his chest began to hurt. Ah well, he thought, let's get it over with. I might as well admit it."----"Through a hazy fog, Delia looked up as a woman approached the bed. 'Hello Delia, ' the woman murmured. 'Maria's told me so much about you, you're gorgeous.' Unable to resist, Delia lay back sighing as the women removed their clothes and squeezed in next to her.
Collecting Insulators in New Zealand is more than just a collector's handbook. It is also a social history, dealing extensively with the introduction of telegraph and phone systems in New Zealand from the late 1860's onward and with power reticulation just over 100 years ago - and all the problems associated with both."--TLS website.
“[A] maniacal little caper . . . Curiosity demands that the reader devour each page to find out exactly what the author wants to say” (Los Angeles Times). Frank runs the Golden Boy fast-food chain, his wife, Mary, is having an affair with the chef, and his son, Virgil, modeled for the Golden Boy logo when he was a baby. All three get embroiled in the machinations of the Everlasting Club, a British organization dedicated to feasting and Dionysian activities that challenge even the most sophisticated of connoisseurs . . . “Nicholson does not stop at the Everlasting Club, with its gastronomic and erotic excesses, but paints a witty but grizzly picture of eating gone awry. Indeed, many readers have found his portrait excessive, which suggests that he is doing something right. This is a brilliantly witty attack on excess which no one who eats should miss.” —The Modern Novel “Kinky food and sex games are the stuff of this high-energy black comedy. . . . Nicholson sustains a tone of campy menace as he brings all these characters to London in a plot that zigs and zags entertainingly.” —Kirkus Reviews “Nicholson’s stateside debut, a dark parable of appetites carnal, commercial and culinary, sets him firmly in the contemporary British mode of savvy, morbid humor pioneered by compatriots like Martin Amis and Pete Davies.” —Publishers Weekly
Gardening For Dummies eBook Bundle gives you three full length books rolled into one convenient bundle giving everything you need to know to help you towards a succesful crop and a full larder! Growing Your Own Fruit and Veg For Dummies is a complete hands-on guide to growing delicious fruit and veg. It gives you the low-down on everything from assessing your plot and getting your hands on the right tools, to choosing the plants to grow, to nurturing your crops and bringing in your harvest. Composting For Dummies shows you how to turn household food waste and more into free nutrient-rich compost and mulch to give their vegetable and flower gardens a boost of energy. Storing and Preserving Garden Produce For Dummies provides everything you need to make your home-grown produce last, covering fruit, vegetables, herbs and even eggs.For each item of produce you'll find out what methods of storing and preserving are most suitable. You'll also find a wealth of recipes inside to help you on your way to making the perfect jams, chutneys and pickles
Learn the essential techniques for painting from photographs with this illustrated guide by the acclaimed artist and teacher. Many artists enjoy using photographic reference material, but while there are many advantages to this way of working, there are also unique challenges. One must learn to choose what to leave out, what to keep in, and how to adapt the scene to create a painting. In this book, Geoff Kersey introduces twenty-seven of his own paintings, explaining how they evolved from one or more photographs. Kersey includes photographs, sketches, diagrams, details, colour charts and a wealth of tips explaining his techniques and artistic process. This volume also includes a glossary of painting terms as well as photographs for readers to interpret for themselves.
Into the Havoc Bar and Grill, an end-of-the-world watering hole on the outer fringes of the metropolis, walks the entertainment, Jenny Slade. She has the look down: beat-up leather jacket, motorcycle boots, cheekbones, and wild hair. But she’s no ordinary guitar heroine. Her guitar is like none her audience has ever seen, part deadly weapon, part creature from some alien lagoon. Is that hair? Are those nipples? Is it flesh? Where does Jenny Slade come from? Where does she go? Geoff Nicholson fans know that wherever that is, the ride will be like no other.
Stocking a garden with plants can be an expensive business, so there are few things more frustrating than when the prized specimen for which you have paid a king's ransom either online or at a garden centre shrivels up and dies within a year or so of purchase. If you can prove that the plant was half-dead when it arrived, you may able to obtain a refund from some online retailers, but for the most part you have to put it down to experience and make a firm mental note not to buy fussy plants in future. The problem is that many websites and catalogues claim that everything they stock is easy to grow. Herbaceous perennials are a particular minefield. Too often you are told that a certain plant 'will come back year after year' without fail when in reality it is either so tender that the only chance of it surviving an average British winter is in a greenhouse or it is a short-lived perennial that is unlikely to flourish beyond two years anyway - and even then only if the local slugs and snails are on a diet. This book cuts through the horticultural sales pitches by listing 100 plants which, for little care beyond the essential watering at planting time, can reliably be expected to thrive in just about any garden. These plants are all but indestructible - pests give them a wide berth, they will prosper in any reasonable garden soil and will withstand anything that the UK climate throws at them. Divided into sections for shrubs, conifers, climbers, perennials, grasses, annuals, alpines and bulbs and with each entry having a Value For Money (VFM) rating out of 10, this easy-to-use guide will prove invaluable not only for the new gardener but also for old hands who are fed up with wasting time and money on plants that all too rapidly lose the will to live. With these suggestions, you can be assured of year-round colour and interest in your garden for the minimum of effort.
In 1804, Liverpool was the largest slave trading port in Great Britain, yet her influential traders felt threatened by the success, in Parliament, of the anti-slavery movement. Few in Liverpool condemned the Trade. William King, son of a Liverpool slave trader, sickened by what he experienced aboard a Spanish slaver, was one of the few who did speak out.??Triangle Trade, set during the dying days of this despicable business, has generational change, moral wickedness, greed, romance, and the fortunes of war woven through the lives of a father and son caught up in the turmoil that preceded the implementation of the British Trade Act of 1807, which would end Britains involvement in the slave trade. Nineteenth century Liverpool is revived; a city of political conflict and dynamic change, mirrored in its inhabitants.??As seen on www.historicalnovels.info
This is the graphic, first-hand story of the maiden voyage and disastrous sinking of the RMS Titanic, told by the survivors themselves. The story of the sinking of the great liner has been told countless times since that fateful night on April 14, 1912, by historians, novelists, and film producers alike, but no account is as graphic or revealing as those from the people who were actually there. Through survivors’ tales and contemporary newspaper reports from both sides of the Atlantic, here are eyewitness accounts full of details that range from poignant to humorous, stage by stage from the liner’s glorious launch in Belfast to the somber sea burial services of those who perished on her first and only voyage. In this book, the voices of the survivors share their own stories, as well as the official records, press reports, and investigations into what went wrong that night.
Did you know that apart from Lancashire, the greatest concentration of Boulton & Watt steam engines was in London, demonstrating the enormous and often overlooked significance of London as an industrial centre? The story behind the many industries found in the capital is described in this unique book. London once had scores of breweries; the world's first plastic material was synthesised in the East End; there was even a gasworks opposite the Palace of Westminster. Clerkenwell was a centre for watch and clock makers; the River Thames used to be full of colliers bringing coal from Newcastle; Joseph Bramah invented his water closet and hydraulic pump here, and Henry Maudslay made machines to make machines. Many household names began in London: Schweppes, Crosse & Blackwell, and Vauxhall motor cars. The list of fascinating facts goes on. In this, the first book of its kind on the subject, Geoff Marshall provides an enthralling overview of London's industrial face through history.
This edition of our successful series to support the Cambridge IGCSE Biology syllabus (0610) is fully updated for the revised syllabus for first examination from 2016. Written by an experienced teacher and examiner, Cambridge IGCSE Biology Coursebook with CD-ROM gives comprehensive and accessible coverage of the syllabus content. Suggestions for practical activities are included, designed to help develop the required experimental skills, with full guidance included on the CD-ROM. Study tips throughout the text, exam-style questions at the end of each chapter and a host of revision and practice material on the CD-ROM are designed to help students prepare for their examinations. Answers to the exam-style questions in the Coursebook are provided on the CD-ROM.
Would you Adam and Eve it? Over a hundred years after it was first heard on the streets of Ye Olde London Towne, Cockney rhyming slang is still going strong, and this book contains the most comprehensive and entertaining guide yet. Presented in an easy-to-read A to Z format, it explains the meaning of hundreds of terms, from old favourites such as apples and pears (stairs) and plates of meat (feet) to the more obscure band of hope (soap) and cuts and scratches (matches) through to modern classics such as Anthea Turner (earner) and Ashley Cole (own goal), as well as providing fascinating background info and curious Cockney facts throughout. Also included are a series of language tests so that readers can brush up on their newfound knowledge on their way to becoming a true Cockney Geezer. All in all, The Ultimate Cockney Geezer's Guide to Rhyming Slang is well worth your bread and honey to have a butcher's.
With an increasing number of people suffering from obesity, heart disease, and other diet-related disorders, many of us turn to fad diets in an effort to drop excess pounds or recover our health. But what if our foods were doing more harm than good, and fad diets made matters worse? Deadly Harvest examines how the foods we eat today have little in common with those of our ancestors, and why this fact is important to our health. It also offers a proven program to enhance health and improve longevity. Using the latest scientific research and studies of primitive lifestyles, the author first explains the diet that our ancestors followed--one in harmony with the human species. He then describes how our present diets affect our health, leading to disorders such as cancer, diabetes, heart disease, and more. Most important, he details measures we can take to improve our diet, our health, and our quality of life.
The definitive handbook to one of the most spectacular Greek Islands. In-depth coverage of the great palace of Knossos and dozens of other Minoan, Greek, Roman, Byzantine and Venetian sights. Detailed accounts of the pick of the island's walks - including the Samarian and Imbros gorges - and the low-down on the finest unspoilt beaches. Insider's reviews of the best places to eat, drink and sleep, from seaside resorts to remote mountain villages. Perceptive background features including history, archeology, wildlife, food and drink. The Times - Excellent and characterfully written
The Rough Guide to Andalucia is the essential handbook to one of Europe's most vibrant destinations. Features include: - Full-colour section introducing Adalucia's highlights. - Incisive reviews of the best places to eat, sleep and drink, in every price range. - Comprehensive coverage of the region's spectacular attractions, from the stunning White Town of La Ronda to the remarkable prehistoric site of Los Millares. - Insider tips on where to find the best beaches and hikes. Expert background on Andalucia's history, culture and wildlife. - Maps and plans for every area.
Your Life, Your Planet is the toolkit that you need to nurture yourself — and the environment that nurtures you. It is full of tips that will help you to reduce your environmental footprint and enjoy a healthier and more satisfying life. A century and more of incredible growth and consumerism has dangerously damaged our environment, and has taught us that we ultimately depend on each other and the natural systems that provide our air, water, food, shelter and clothing. Unless we take personal responsibility and look after ourselves, each other and the natural world in a balanced and harmonious manner, the situation has little chance of improving. In order to tackle issues such as carbon emissions, our fossil fuel dependency, species loss, plastic and other pollution we need to actively engage with the people and the world around us and address the habitual way we seek convenience and ease. In doing this this, we will not only reduce our environmental footprint but also take the first steps toward converting our homes from centres of rampant consumption to hubs of environmentally-friendly production.
There are nearly a million nonprofit organizations in the United States vying for funding from an ever-diminishing pool of resources. Whether you're directing or working for a nonprofit or founding a new one, your biggest concern is how to make it sustainable through tough economic times. This book shows you how to keep your organization working regardless of whether you are successful in securing grants. You'll learn how to obtain space, equipment and tools at little or no cost, how to minimize insurance and legal fees, and how to use volunteers and keynote programs to stay lean and successful. Checklists help you initiate and file paperwork and create a master assets and inventory document that will keep your directors, officers and volunteers up to date on everything you own and lease, including Internet and social media resources. Realistic hands-on strategies are provided that can save your organization significant amounts of money each year and prevent the mistakes that cause so many nonprofits to fail.
The Way We Are is an account of a life passed in England, Saudi Arabia, and 50+ years in post-war Japan. How a search for peace of mind became an attempt at self-realization – “satori” or enlightenment, and an acceptance of why we cannot be other than we are – involving (for no clear reason) an induction into a local secret society, learning to deal with voices in the head and telepathy, hypnotism and “Ki” (being manipulated by another person’s will), prescience, visual and other apparitions, 'ghosts', 'poltergeists' etc. All personally experienced without the influence of any stimulants. This book deals with questioning the limitations of ‘self’ as sufficient identity in this truly modern world, a world where every single one of us is now almost certainly, at some stage, going to be obliged to recognize themselves as that very much rejected and unwanted ‘other’. It also explores moving the mind away from conflict as a solution and examining the fine line between political, commercial, philosophical/religious guidance and control.
How did Hawaiian and Polynesian culture come to dramatically alter American music, fashion and decor, as well as ideas about race, in less than a century? It began with mainland hula and musical performances in the late 19th century, rose dramatically as millions shipped to Hawaii during the Pacific War, then made big leap with the advent of low-cost air travel. By the end of the 1950s, mainlanders were hosting tiki parties, listening to exotic music, lazing on rattan furniture in Hawaiian shirts and, of course, surfing. Increasingly, they were marrying people outside of their own racial groups as well. The author describes how this cultural conquest came about and the people and events that led to it.
Presents subject review, full-length practice tests with explanatory answers, and test-taking tips to help readers pass the high school equivalency test.
Read the landmark storyline that launched the New 52 as you’ve never seen it before, stripped down to artist Andy Kubert’s original pencils! Written by industry legend Geoff Johns, this volume collects the full five-issue miniseries as well as behind-the-scenes sketches and commentary in FLASHPOINT UNWRAPPED! Everything Barry Allen knows has changed in a flash. He’s the fastest man in the world, but this is not his world. The course of history has been changed, and a new reality has replaced his own. Villains have become conquerors. Heroes have become villains—or nothing at all. Humanity is on the brink of all-out destruction. And the Flash, powerless and friendless, has been brought to a standstill. To undo what’s been done to reality, Barry will need to recruit the warped versions of the heroes he knew to help him. But whether they succeed or fail, the world will never be the same! Collects FLASHPOINT #1-5.
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