Many people think that they do not need a book on "how to write a really bad grant application" - they already know how. Actually, this book is intended as a guide to writing grant applications that will get funded. One way to write a good grant application is to avoid writing a bad one. This book analyzes "bad" scientific grant applications from a humorous perspective. There are also some sections on obtaining funding from private foundations and industry, and a few parts that are pure silliness. All pieces in this book are original and are either fiction (the humor pieces) or non-fiction (the serious advice). The reader will hopefully be able to tell the two apart.