Dan Patterson has his own voice: controlled, thoughtful and imbued with a kind of sad wisdom. He writes poems for himself and the seclusive reader that can potentially be anyone. He wants to connect with others, but in the intimate manner found within the quietness of contemplation. "Dominion" and so many other poems in this collection speak directly to the reader in the tone of voice that emanates from humanity's capacity for love and kindness. It is the extreme positive thought and action that often gets lost in today's brutal reality. It's the heart of a poet trying to secure a safe place for the fragile spider in "Bookstore". This poet values the actual shape of the text on the page. He sees a connection between its physical form and the poem's inherent expression. Poetry readings are more for poets who want to be performers, want to entertain. The voice of Dan Patterson may be the one you hear inside your head; it may be your own. --Johnny Case, Fort Worth, Texas, Jazz Pianist The imagery in the poetry of "Terrain" is a powerful witness to humanity's longing to encompass the whole of life experiences, the blending of the mortal with the eternal, the sensitivity of the human with the natural, and the ever extracting meditative music within our souls. These poems strum the chords of thought and take us to a place of reflective peace. "Terrain" provides a grounded balance for whichever path on which we find ourselves. --(Rev.) Hector M. Medina, Arlington, Texas
Scenes We'd Like to See is the very first Mock the Week book, published to coincide with the sixth series of the hit BBC2 comedy show. From gloriously rude 'Unfortunate names for race horses' to 'Unlikely personal ads' and lines that (sadly) never appeared in the Harry Potter books, Mock the Week: Scenes We'd Like to See is the fastest, funniest read of the year: a bumper book of all-new razor-sharp one-liners, including: UNLIKELY MEDICAL LABELS: No rabbits were harmed during the testing of this product - but the rats were less lucky. GREETINGS CARDS THAT WOULDN'T SELL: Happy New Breasts! UNLIKELY HOROSCOPES: You will go to your bedroom window and stand there naked for a minute, you will do this especially if your name is Mrs Hughes and you live at 56, The Avenue, Clapham...around 3.30 would be best for me. UNLIKELY LINES FROM A NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK: 'I've turned my cock into a frog!' squealed Ron in terror.
Blue, Barry, and Pancakes are best friends! They love roller skates, inflatable rubber ducks, and going on HIGH VELOCITY adventures! After a series of wacky mishaps, Blue, Barry, and Pancakes find themselves inside a Roller Duck Ball stadium. Forced to compete in this nonsensical yet highly popular sport, the gang discovers a natural talent for the game. Soon enough, they find themselves hurtling towards athletic stardom! As endorsement deals and branded merchandise offers pile up, will our heroes be able to stay humble and hold onto their friendship? Or will the pressures of fame and success tear them apart?! Like all friends, Blue, Barry, and Pancakes can make mistakes . . . but at the end of the day, they always have each other’s backs. And tops, and sides, and fronts, too!
The fifth volume of the emerging readers graphic novel series about three friends (a bunny, a worm, and a frog) whose adventures are driven by their very different personalities. Perfect for fans of Narwhal & Jelly and Elephant & Piggie! Blue, Barry, and Pancakes are best friends! They love epic poetry, wild rodeos, and going on TIME-BENDING adventures! One night, Blue prepares to read a poem to an audience of friends from around the neighborhood. But just before he takes the stage, he’s frozen with stage fright. The gang decides to travel back in time to borrow a good luck charm from one of Blue’s poet ancestors in the hopes that holding it will make Blue brave. But once Blue gets one charm, he realizes he needs one more. And then another one. And then another one...will Blue ever feel bold enough to take the stage, or will these three friends be looping back in time forever?! Like all friends, Blue, Barry, and Pancakes can make mistakes... but at the end of the day, they always have each other’s backs. And tops, and sides, and fronts, too!
Blue, Barry, and Pancakes are best friends, but sometimes friends make mistakes. One day, when the gang goes to the beach, Barry and Pancakes lose Blue’s beloved beach ball. They come up with a plan to get it back, but things go way off course. Now, these pals will have to go inside a giant whale’s stomach, crash a pool party on an alien spaceship, and survive Duckzilla’s volcanic birthday bash if they ever hope to see Blue’s beach ball again!
The third volume of the children’s graphic novel series of friendship stories for emerging readers, featuring three friends (a bunny, a worm, and a frog) who get into conflicts and adventures driven by their very different personalities. Blue, Barry, and Pancakes are best friends! They love funky music, penguins that wear hats, and going on BIG adventures! One day, Barry convinces Blue and Pancakes to enter an epic sundae-making contest. Blue and Pancakes just want to have fun, but Barry is in it to WIN IT. He knows exactly how he’s going to get the trophy, but it’s going to be dangerous. It’ll take sacrifice. He might even lose his pals along the way... Like all friends, Blue, Barry, and Pancakes can make mistakes... but at the end of the day, they always have each other’s backs. And tops, and sides, and fronts, too!
The fourth volume of the children’s series of friendship stories for emerging readers, featuring three friends (a bunny, a worm, and a frog) who get into conflicts and adventures driven by their very different personalities. Blue, Barry, and Pancakes are best friends! They love roller hooping, free ice cream, and going on BIG adventures! One day, Barry and Pancakes want to go to the beach. When they go to grab Blue though, they discover that he’s already gone. He’s searching for a legendary stone buried deep underground, and didn’t invite his best friends to join him! Feeling hurt, Barry and Pancakes decide that they’re going to beat Blue to the treasure, but they are totally unprepared for the DANGER that awaits them in the cave of the Jelly Gem! Like all friends, Blue, Barry, and Pancakes can make mistakes... but at the end of the day, they always have each other’s backs. And tops, and sides, and fronts, too! Feel all of the warm, fuzzy, friendship feelings in the latest installment of Dan & Jason’s graphic novel series.
This high-octane and uproariously funny graphic novel follows Barb the Brave as she battles Witch Head! Perfect for readers aged 6+ and fans of Bunny Vs Monkey, Disney's Brave and Dav Pilkey's Dog Man. Barb is a Berzerker, one of an elite crew of warriors who protect the land of Bailiwick from the scourge of monsters. Barb has been captured by the evil Witch Head and, too injured to fight back, her chances for freedom are slim. They're both in for a surprise when her Berzerker mum, Raven comes to the rescue. The mother-daughter duo escapes but can’t stop Witch Head from summoning a powerful army from the Shadow Realm to take over Bailiwick. Can Barb and her ragtag crew of Berzerkers find a way to beat the infamous Shadow Army? Can she figure out how to harness the mystical power of the Ghost Blade? And can Porkchop make sure everybody has enough snacks? Barb's adventure continues in this action-packed, side-splitting story!
A ragtag crew of Berzerkers and five Wise Wizards with rusty powers come together to stop an evil witch from taking over their land, as Barb attempts to harness the mystical power of the Ghost Blade and lead the charge.
Blue, Barry, and Pancakes are best friends! They love building models, reading about shovels, and going on INTERGALACTIC adventures?! Like all friends, they can make mistakes... but at the end of the day, they always have each other’s backs. And tops, and sides, and fronts, too!
From the makers of the bestselling Mock the Week: This Year's Book comes this laugh-out-loud funny collection of one-liners for, well, the year after. Jam-packed with near-the-knuckle, quickfire gags, categories include: UNLIKELY THINGS TO READ ON THE BACK OF A BOOK: 'Incredibly moving, the book of the year' Whizzer and Chips BAD THINGS TO HEAR IN HOSPITAL: 'Can you feel that? You can feel my finger? Do you like it? Does it feel good? Sh*t, the doctor's here.' UNLIKELY THINGS TO READ IN A ROMANCE NOVEL: It was love at first sight -- she a beautiful heiress, he a donkey in a hat. UNLIKELY BOARD GAME INSTRUCTIONS: Having taken the cards out of your rectum, shuffle them and give everyone the maximum they will accept. UNLIKELY THINGS TO HEAR ON A PA SYSTEM: 'Could the man who has just been decapitated in Coach 6 please stop pressing the emergency button.
Mock The Week: 1001 Scenes Weâe(tm)d Like To See is the funniest, rudest book of the summer, packed with enough one-liners to fill a whole new series. If youâe(tm)ve ever wondered what would be a bad thing to say at a state banquet, or need advice on slogans you shouldnâe(tm)t have tattooed on your arse, then this book will prove invaluable. Collecting together the best one-liners from two bestselling Mock the Week books, categories include: UNSUCCESSFUL PERSONAL ADS: Companion required for long sessions of Sudoku. No timewasters. GREETINGS CARDS THAT WOULDNâe(tm)T SELL: Sorry About Your Face UNLIKELY MEDICAL LABELS: May cause diarrhoea, dysentery, flatulence, piles and other hilarious bottom-related ailments. UNLIKELY CROSSWORD CLUES: Apricot knee Simon âe" well a nun might if the Zeppelin has grown its own Byzantium (16,8) LINES YOUâe(tm)D NEVER SEE IN A JAMES BOND BOOK: âe~"James, heâe(tm)s using the diamonds to divert a giant laser onto New York from outer space." Bond took the bottle out of Mâe(tm)s shaking hand and helped her off the floor into bed.
Now in its seventh year, "Mock the Week" is the biggest comedy show on BBC2, regularly drawing 5 million viewers every week and making stars of Frankie Boyle, Dara O'Briain and Russell Howard. Packed with enough jokes to fill a whole new series, "Mock the Week: This Year's Book! "is a colourful riot of near-the-knuckle humour; the perfect gift for the show's devoted fans this Christmas. Categories include: UNLIKELY DICTIONARY DEFINITIONS: Fart (noun) - expulsion of trapped methane from the anus, possibly the funniest thing ever. UNLIKELY AGONY AUNT LETTERS: Dear Agony Aunt, I keep getting dangerous advice from hugely unqualified people - what do you suggest I do? CARDS YOU NEVER SEE IN A NEWSAGENT'S WINDOW: Child Minder Available - He may be small, but he's rock hard. UNLIKELY OBITUARIES: Died suddenly and peacefully on an electric chair at the New York State Penitentiary. UNNERVING THINGS TO HEAR IN A MEDICAL EXAM: 'So how bad is this premature . . . eeearrgh!' UNSUCCESSFUL JOB APPLICATIONS: You must hire me, before I kill again!
Modern life is a minefield. Fortunately, the creators of Mock the Week are here to give you advice on the important things in life: from office etiquette to camping holidays, the worst things to hear while sitting on the toilet - and what not to say when passing through Customs . . . Categories include: Unlikely Things to Hear at a Funeral: 'Could whoever that is stop knocking, I'm trying to do the Eulogy!' Unlikely Things to Say on Your First Day in Prison: 'How thoughtful! Someone's left a bucket of chocolate mousse in the corner of my cell.' Guide to Keeping Tropical Fish: For a special treat, pour a smoothie slowly into the fish tank. They love that. Mountaineering Tips: Try to make sure you are accompanied by an experienced mountaineer or, failing that, someone really fat who will make for a soft landing. Medical Self-Diagnosis: If it comes out faster than gravity would normally allow, then there's something wrong.
When so many families are faced with bewildering & heart-wrenching experiences, Christian therapist John Dan shares the inspiring stories of those who have faced overwhelming tragedy & used their faith to deal with grief, loss & inner pain, despite circumstances over which they had seemingly little or no control. This timely book addresses a myriad of tragic situations, including crib death, drugs & juvenile crime, domestic violence, sexual abuse, mind games, financial ruin, health crises, etc. Points to the unlimited resources & comfort found in Christ, who alone can help during those deeply traumatic times in life when we are the most vulnerable & needy.
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