From the creator of FEARLESS comes a new canine tale. 'It was very quiet in Stanley's house. there were no brothers or sisters, no dads or grannies, not even a cat, a budgie or a goldfish.' Stanley lives with his human, Gerald, and Gerald's mum. Life is peaceful, but sometimes Stanley feels quite lonely ... But then one day another dog steals his favourite red rubber ball at his park, and sets in motion a chain of events that will change Stanley's life forever. Ages: 3-7
Betty and Ffiona cooking dinner? Run for your lives! Betty and her friend FFiona love cooking. The trouble is, they are both so useless at it that their families make themselves ill just to avoid their meals.It isn't that their families are too kind to tell the girls how bad their cooking is - they actually tell them all the time. But Betty and Ffiona don't believe them, and now the girls are planning to open Transylvania Waters's first gourmet restaurant. Queen Mordonna forbids them . . . unless they can prove their cooking skills by winning TV's most popular cooking contest. Will they poison all the judges, or will The Cheffie Olympics be Betty and Ffiona's finest hour?
Radius Limpfast, TV producer extraordinaire, has sent the Contrast family to live in a glass dome on the moon. It will be the greatest reality TV show ever. What could possibly go wrong? Lots of things, actually, and the worst one is that after only a week on the moon, the family are bored out of their brains. But the door of their spaceship is locked and won't open for five years. Luckily, rRego, their genius robot, comes to the rescue. He breaks into the spaceship, reprograms it, and the Contrasts set off back to Earth. Except, when they get there, Earth seems to have turned pink and got two more moons ...
Colin Thompson's stunning illustrations of 'home' have been linked to verse and comment which they have inspired from children who have seen them. The result of this meeting between the vision of an artist and the honesty of children is an unusually imaginative book, touching, funny, provocative - and always surprising. Home will never seem quite the same again!
For as long as anyone can remember, Oscar has played his violin outside the theatre. Every night, as the people queue for their tickets, Oscar fills the air with his music and the echo of his lost dreams. In the old days, his daughter, Marietta, had been there as well, dancing. For just as Oscar dreams of being a famous violinist, it was Marietta's dream to be a famous ballet dancer. But Marietta became ill and now Oscar plays alone. Some nights, though, he catches sight of Marietta's ghost, dancing under the street light. One night, Oscar's dream comes true and he is invited to play in the theatre in front of an audience. They are swept away by his music and his skill. But under the glare of the spotlight, Oscar can't see Marietta dancing. He decides to play only outside on the pavement, where he and Marietta can perform together. 'Don't worry,' he says. 'I won't leave you again.' A lyrical tale of love, loss and music by master storyteller and illustrator, Colin Thompson.
Nothing and nobody is safe in this third collection of hysterically funny poetry. WARNING: only read this book if you have a sense of humour! There?s something really nasty on the bottom of my shoe It?s making me feel sick. Can?t you smell it too? I don?t know what it is, but it smells much worse than poo. COLIN THOMPSON'S hilarious poems are wonderfully matched by illustrator PETER VISKA's zany illustrations. They team up again on My Brother Drinks Out of the Toilet and other poems and The Dog's Just Been Sick in the Honda and other poems.
Fully illustrated and full colour throughout, Floodsopedia will improve your life in exciting and dramatic ways you never imagined, unless you imagined bacon, mildew, boils and germs.
Hidden within the pages of this intriguing book are the letters and numbers which make up Ruby's numberplate. Ruby was made in 1934 by Austin Motor Company in Longbridge, England. She’s shiny, she’s beautiful and this is her story.
A family of wizards and witches living in an ordinary neighborhood in an ordinary town decides that they have had enough of the noisy family living next-door and makes them disappear.
A riotous collection of poetry about toilet-water drinkers, non-stop eaters, rock ‘n’ roll teachers and much, much more! My brother drinks out of the toilet; He does it to make Mum go mad. Each time she catches him at it She says, 'I’m telling your dad.’ COLIN THOMPSON's hilarious poems are wonderfully matched by illustrator PETER VISKA's zany illustrations.They team up again on There's Something Really Nasty on the Bottom of My Shoe and other poems and The Dog's Just Been Sick in the Honda and other poems.
Everything in this book is true. You might think some things are just too unbelievable or funny or silly to be true, but every tiny detail really did happen." Take one small boy; add manic depression, three wives, three daughters, two divorces, amazing creative talent, and Asperger's syndrome. In this memoir, Colin Thompson invites you to explore his almost-unbelievable life from past to present, though not necessarily in that order. Filled with family photographs and mesmerising illustrations drawn by the author himself, prepare to step inside the life and mind of an extraordinary man. If you, or your friends or relations, have ever felt that you do not fit in this world, then this book will tell you how one person survived it all.
Most people don't like being different. They want exactly the same things as their neighbours, only bigger and more of them. Yet no matter how much they have, they always feel there is something missing. The Smiths are not like other people. They might not be any good at cooking, or housework, or homework, but in their jumbled house full of strange things that will probably come in useful one day, they are happy and content. Well, almost. The Smiths, too, feel that there is something missing from their lives. And today the children went down to the shops and found it.
With their worst enemy on their trail, the Floods family are on the run and in disguise in the seventh book of this hilarious bestselling series. While the Floods were on holiday with their human friends the Hulberts, the Hearse Whisperer totally destroyed their home back in Acacia Avenue. So now they're on the run again . . . To avoid detection they are, like, totally heavily disguised, man. Yeah, man, it's far out, the Floods have become hippies! Will they end up living a life of love and peace and singing folk songs about rainbows and sunsets? Will they wear flowers in their hair and wear soya-bean sandals? Yeah, right.
The fourth book in Colin Thompson's brilliantly funny series about a family of witches and wizards who might be living in your town. The youngest child in the Flood family, Betty, is a pretty little girl, who looks quite normal - unlike some of her brothers and sisters. She goes to the normal primary school down the road and she even has a normal best friend, Ffiona Hulbert. But Betty is not normal - she is a witch. When Bridie McTort, the school bully, starts throwing her weight around, Betty knows exactly what to do. And when Ffiona's dad gets bullied at work, Betty knows how to fix that too. Meanwhile, Winchflat Flood has been watching old Frankenstein movies and has decided he wants to build a human of his own ...
The second book in Colin Thompson’s brilliantly funny series about a family of witches and wizards who might be living in your town. Look through the cobwebbed, murky arched window in deepest Patagonia, and this is what you might see... Every day five of the Flood children travel halfway round the world to Quicklime College, the ultimate school for witches and wizards. There's no time for silly games flying around on broomsticks. Sports day is coming up, and before you even wonder how four-legged Satanella copes with the three-legged race, here's a secret for you. Orkward Warlock, the vilest child in the school, and his sidekick, The Toad, hate the big happy Floods family. And they're plotting to kill the Floods - on sports day.
Humorous fiction. Large Print. What happens when the King goes Doolally? Find out in the latest Floods adventure. Everyone gets old, even witches and wizards. Their backs get stiff. Their feet get sore, and their brains go and live far, far away. Not even Nerlin Flood, the King of Transylvania Waters, is immune to the curse of old age. The rest of the family have noticed that Nerlin is slipping into total Doolallyness - he even has an invisible friend called Geoffrey - Geoffrey, who warns him not to eat broccoli because it will give him global warming. Will the Old Crones be able to cure him, or is Nerlin doomed to spend his twilight years talking to the wall, wearing a crooked jacket and incompetence pants? Which is actually a more accurate description of a straitjacket.
Everyone's favourite scaredy-cat bulldog is back -- with puppies! Everyone's favourite scaredy-cat bulldog returns in a brand-new adventure! When we last saw Fearless, he had fallen head over paws for the beautiful Primrose. Now, they've got puppies to care for, and Fearless must figure out what it means to be a father. Fearless warns his children about the dangers lurking around every corner -- things like vacuum cleaners and handbags -- but when Primrose is in trouble, will Fearless put aside his fears or will it be brave pup Eric to the rescue? Another charming and hilarious tale about Fearless the bulldog, from award-winning duo Colin Thompson and Sarah Davis. Ages: 2-5
Every night for two years Peter searches in the library for the lost book on how to live forever, and when he finds it, he makes an important decision.
Charged with saving the Earth from natural disasters, war and reality television, miniature robot Barry is accidentally trapped behind a couch and challenged to escape with a discarded red lipstick as his only tool.
The first in a laugh-out-loud series from the ingenious mind of much-loved children's author Colin Thompson. Nerlin and Mordonna Flood have seven children, most of whom were not created in the traditional way like you or me, but were made in the cellar, using incredible mystical powers, some very shiny Jamie Oliver saucepans and a small chemistry set. The youngest child, Betty, is a normal, pretty little girl - but she's a useless witch. Her attempts at magic often go wrong, with unexpected yet welcome results. The next-door neighbours should've known better than to rob a family of witches and wizards. But they did, and they're about to find out what the Floods do to bad neighboursa
Grandfather left his grandson a seafarer’s chest, a parrot called Titanic and a dream – the dream of looking for Atlantis. “Atlantis is right here all around you,” Grandfather said, “you have to learn how to look for it.” So when Grandfather dies, the boy starts looking: in the chest, on shelves, in books, under the stairs. Colin Thompson’s dazzingly detailed pictures richly illustrate the boy’s magical journey of discovery.
Sometimes it gets pretty crowded in the naughty corner ... Babies George and Cleopatra, 14-year-old Peter, 38-year old Brian, Nigel the cat, Credence the dog, and Monique, the yellow bird all of them have spent time in the naughty corner. It s meant to make them think about their behaviour, but they've turned it into a place to have fun. The only member of the family who hasn t spent time in the naughty corner is Maureen, aka mum. She couldn t be naughty if she tried. She thinks being good makes you a better person but perhaps it just makes your life dull and grey.
What do you get when you cross the legendary heroes of Camelot with the legendary humour of Colin Thompson? The Dragons! In the days when dragons roamed the earth turning people into toast, a mighty King ruled the world. This King lived in the great castle of Camelot in the beautiful island of Avalon. Guided by the great wizard Merlin, this King became a legend and his name was Arthur. The trouble with legends is that every time their stories are told they become more and more fabulous, so useless twits are often turned into superheroes.This is the true story of King Arthur, who was not a superhero. He was a nasty little spoilt brat who was totally up himself. Or was he . . .?
The Floods are suspects in a murder case--can they prove their innocence before it's too late? There's been a murder at Quicklime College and the world's most famous Forensic Special Investigator, Grusom, has been sent to investigate. With the help of his super-smart new assistant, Avid--and a can of magic beans--Grusom unearths the clues that will help him find the murderer. In no time, he has five suspects. Their names are Winchflat, Morbid, Silent, Merlinmary, and Satanella Flood. Will the Floods be able to stay hidden from the law--and from the evil enemy who is secretly following their every move--until they can prove their innocence?
Three years ago, Stark Contrast volunteered his family to live on the moon. Since then, the reality TV show about their adventures has become the most popular show on earth and the Contrasts are mega famous. But three years inside a big plastic bubble is a long time, and the four of them - Stark, his wife, Laura, and their children, Crocus and Jack - are way beyond bored. They just want to go home. The trouble is, none of them know how to fly the spaceship, and it's not programmed to take them home for another two years. In Watch This Space, with the help of the robot that was sent with them, the Contrast family manage to break into the spaceship and escape ... except that instead of flying back to earth, the spaceship heads off into deep space.
The very best stories from the bestselling author of The Floods. Sid the mosquito isn't the only one exploring the delights of house Number Fourteen and its overgrown garden. Derek the rat is sniffing out old socks for supper. Ethel the chicken is busy trying to persuade the world she is not an orange, while Arnold the mouse is spending more time in the trap than out of it. Frank the ant has a terrible headache and just wants to be left alone, and Joey the budgie is having a bath in the dog's bowl.Colin’s acclaimed stories about the inhabitants of one particular garden are now collected in this newly illustrated special edition.
The Great Montefiasco's magic tricks are so bad that his audiences find them hilarious, and when he hires the Fabulous--but clumsy--Betty as his assistant, the duo's fame is assured.
Orkward Warlock hated everyone. Sometimes, for practice, he even hated himself. But Orkward Warlock had one hate that was deeper than all his other hates. The thing that he hated more than anything in the whole universe was the Floods.
The only thing Fearless could remember his mother telling him was, ′Life is much nicer if you love everyone.′ But loving everyone is much more complicated than Fearless had imagined. Until he meets Primrose ... A hilarious new picture book about Fearless the bulldog from award-winning duo Colin Thompson and Sarah Davis. Ages: 4+
The world is in a recession and millions of people have lost millions of dollars. And just when things are about to get even worse, Quicklime College sets up its Summer School in New York to take control of the world's financial markets. Being witches and wizards, of course, the Floods are bound to do a better job than humans. Millions of people will probably lose millions more dollars, but it will all work out fine in the the end. Well, for the Floods, anyway. Hey, come on. They're witches and wizards, not some sort of charity"--P. [4] of cover.
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