From the porn magazine to the moving truck to the dark sewers of California, Brandon Christopher’s journey in the American job market is not only absurd, but also full of wit and profound observations. He steps out from behind the driver’s wheel, the cash register, and the office desk to record the lighter and darker sides of humanity in the workplace. Christopher’s tale makes even the most mundane job seem fascinating and the most exciting career appear hum-drum and hollow. The Job Pirate strips off the façade of the average employee to see what is hidden underneath: “That new employee that you see hanging his vintage blazer onto the backrest of his swivel chair is me. My cubicle is right next to yours. I don’t say much, I dine alone, I drink a lot of coffee, and I know my legal right to two cigarettes in an 8-hour workday. And yes, you were right, I’m not really the Marketing Strategist that I told the boss I was. But I’m sitting here in this cubicle, and the resume that got me this job is in my attaché case right beside me. It clearly states that I have more than enough experience to run this company’s entire advertising department and I’ll be here between three weeks and a year, so you better get used to the idea.” Often hilarious and sometimes profound, Christopher’s stories take us through the offices, department stores and kiosks of the West Coast. We ride along with him as he chauffeurs the famous, the dead and sometimes just their furniture. Christopher gives us an irreverent inside glimpse into the work life of the people we see everyday. Even though at times he exhibits moral ambiguity, we find ourselves rooting for him against all the odds because we can see our own struggles in his attempts to acclimate. We can all relate to this story of selling our soul to the company store and then buying it back for pennies on the dollar, just to have that one more day of freedom.
Middle-class, middle child, way uncool hair ― these are the true confessions of an aspiring outcast and lackluster altar boy at the crossroads of Hell and junior high. In this riotous memoir, Brandon Christopher reflects on life as an unusually tall, mischief-obsessed altar boy at a private school in Los Angeles. Set in the quirky mid-1980s, The Middle Kid skillfully weaves together the end of Christopher's childhood and the beginning of his journey toward manhood, as told through cringe-worthy yet hilarious stories from the author's irreverent and unabashedly honest perspective.
catawampus: /kat-uh-wom-puh s/: Adj. 1: crooked; out of alignment 2: askew; awry No single word describes this collection of short stories better than the title itself: Catawampus. Told with Brandon Christopher's wry wit, unflinching humor and imaginative style, each story gives us a brief and sudden glimpse into the stranger side of ordinary lives. They beckon us to pull back the veneer of normalcy to dive headfirst into the odd, the eccentric, the heartbreaking, and the hilarious. From funeral crashers and Roman philosophers to feuding landlords and peculiar tea parties, Catawampus is a refreshing and strikingly original fiction collection.
I am 13 years old. I just realized that I'm not as good-looking as my mom led me to believe. I wear two pairs of underwear . everywhere. These are my stories." It was 1985, and if you weren't a diehard Knight Rider fan then you probably wouldn't survive on the savage and perilous playground of St. Charles private school. It was a time unlike any other, filled with strange fashion choices, schoolyard extortion rackets, and first dates. It was a time for kids who stuck firecrackers in cats' asses, a time for pretending to be murdered to freak out neighbors, and a time for realizing that no one really liked you. It was the perfect time for a "Dirty Little Altar Boy." Middle-class, middle child, way uncool hair-these are the true confessions of a 13-year-old at the crossroads of junior high and hellfire eternity.
The delay of the Parousia—the second coming of Christ—has vexed Christians since the final decades of the first century. This volume offers a critical, constructive, and interdisciplinary solution to that dilemma. The argument is grounded in Christian tradition while remaining fully engaged with the critical insights and methodological approaches of twenty-first-century scholars. The authors argue that the deferral of Christ’s prophesied return follows logically from the conditional nature of ancient predictive prophecy: Jesus has not come again because God’s people have not yet responded sufficiently to Christ’s call for holy and godly action. God, in patient mercy, remains committed to cooperating with humans to bring about the consummation of history with Jesus’ return. Collaboratively written by an interdisciplinary and ecumenical team of scholars, the argument draws on expertise in biblical studies, systematics, and historical theology to fuse critical biblical exegesis with a powerful theological paradigm that generates an apophatic and constructive Christian eschatology. The authors, however, have done more than tackle a daunting theological problem: as the group traverses issues from higher criticism through doctrine and into liturgy and ethics, they present an innovative approach for how to do Christian theology in the twenty-first-century academy.
Mali and Tessa have lived hundreds of different lives throughout time, caught up in an eternal cycle as they take part in a war so old that neither side remembers what they're fighting for anymore. As Mali wakes up in her newest life, she suddenly becomes self-aware and starts to question everything, especially why she continues to fight. But elsewhere, Tessa is already on the hunt...
As Tessa flies to America to continue hunting her target, Mali learns the ropes of being a soldier while the memories of hundreds of past lives weigh on her mind.
One marker of the majesty of ancient Rome is its surviving architectural legacy, the stunning remains of which are scattered throughout the circum-Mediterranean landscape. Surprisingly, one truly remarkable aspect of this heritage remains relatively unknown. There exists beneath the waters of the Mediterranean the physical remnants of a vast maritime infrastructure that sustained and connected the western worldÕs first global empire and economy. The key to this incredible accomplishment and to the survival of structures in the hostile environment of the sea for two thousand years was maritime concrete, a building material invented and then employed by Roman builders on a grand scale to construct harbor installations anywhere they were needed, rather than only in locations with advantageous geography or topography. This book explains how the Romans built so successfully in the sea with their new invention. The story is a stimulating mix of archaeological, geological, historical and chemical research, with relevance to both ancient and modern technology. It also breaks new ground in bridging the gap between science and the humanities by integrating analytical materials science, history, and archaeology, along with underwater exploration. The book will be of interest to anyone interested in Roman architecture and engineering, and it will hold special interest for geologists and mineralogists studying the material characteristics of pyroclastic volcanic rocks and their alteration in seawater brines. The demonstrable durability and longevity of Roman maritime concrete structures may be of special interest to engineers working on cementing materials appropriate for the long-term storage of hazardous substances such as radioactive waste. A pioneering methodology was used to bore into maritime structures both on land and in the sea to collect concrete cores for testing in the research laboratories of the CTG Italcementi Group, a leading cement producer in Italy, the University of Berkeley, and elsewhere. The resulting mechanical, chemical and physical analysis of 36 concrete samples taken from 11 sites in Italy and the eastern Mediterranean have helped fill many gaps in our knowledge of how the Romans built in the sea. To gain even more knowledge of the ancient maritime technology, the directors of the Roman Maritime Concrete Study (ROMACONS) engaged in an ambitious and unique experimental archaeological project Ð the construction underwater of a reproduction of a Roman concrete pier or pila. The same raw materials and tools available to the ancient builders were employed to produce a reproduction concrete structure that appears to be remarkably similar to the ancient one studied during ROMACONÕs fieldwork between 2002-2009. This volume reveals a remarkable and unique archaeological project that highlights the synergy that now exists between the humanities and science in our continuing efforts to understand the past. It will quickly become a standard research tool for all interested in Roman building both in the sea and on land, and in the history and chemistry of marine concrete. The authors also hope that the data and observations it presents will stimulate further research by scholars and students into related topics, since we have so much more to learn in the years ahead.
Heaven and hell are overcrowded. Now when people die they go to Nightville.Welcome to the swarming underworld of Nightville, an eternal city of souls halfway between the Big Time-Heaven-and Downtown-Hell. A handful of hardboiled Law Men do their best to keep the peace in a strange and sinister world inhabited by lost souls, sarcastic demons, and fallen angels with narcotic habits.Jaded Law Man Leo Kelso is ready to "retire" from duty and return to the world of the living when two innocent sisters accidentally wind up in Nightville. In a quest to save the girls he must travel to the darkest districts of the city, where he encounters the afterlife's most depraved oddities...
As we know, “experience may vary” when it comes to life, and no two events end the exact same way. Experience May Very is a fictional look into a nonfiction life, told from the perspective of an alternate timeline from current day. A story for the ages, this book creates a picture of what Seattle would have looked like if it never became the metropolis it is today, and being self-governed by shadows working in the background. It creates a world that anyone can immerse themselves into without needing any prior knowledge. Experience May Vary can be as real or as fictional as the reader wants it to be. It’s a small shred of the life of one man for future generations. Let’s all share what we have seen, heard, and accomplished in this crazy thing called life. About the Author Brandon Rose grew up reading Brian Jacques and Terry Brooks as a kid and into teenage-hood. As a movie buff, he always enjoys a good story that can draw you in and leave a lasting impression. He drew a lot of inspiration from David Duchovny in his role in Californication. Brandon currently lives in Gold Bar, WA.
I Write on Walls Because I Never Got a Happy Meal" is the first full length collection of poems from Brandon B. Shatter Harrison featuring hit pieces like Get Out, Dear Officer, Ben Carson and more. More than your average poet, B. Shatter has found a way totake his early slam career training from Texas to new and amazing heights in making a name for himself. B-Shatter is host of Kentucky's largest yearly poetry competition the "Winter SoulSpitSlam," coaches the youth team known as "Young Poets of Louisville," and regularly teaches while continuing to host a variety of slams and nationwide events. He's been seen on HBO's Brave New Voices 2008, competed on the 2010 Killeen Poetry Slam Team, the 2014 Loohavull Lip Slam Team Champion and performedat the 2016 Blues, Brews, and BBQ festival. This is just the beginning, there will always be stories that need telling and B. Shatter aims to give those tales a voice.
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