For the first book inspired by their wildly popular podcast, Bob Mortimer and Andy Dawson considered producing an authoritative guide to the past, present and future world of football. But, as in the podcast, they got a bit side-tracked - as well as bringing you some (more or less) completely genuine football facts, Bob and Andy speculate about the lifestyle of baked bean-loving, yellow snake-owning ex-England boss Steve McClaren, and investigate the 'Gangs of the EPL', where football meets infantile bullying. There's also input from the Secret Soccer Superstar - a former player who lifts the lid on what it's really like to be a top, top pro - and the lyrics from some of Bob's most memorable Scottish songs, so that you can sing them to your children, elderly relatives or, indeed, yourself, should you need to be soothed after learning about Robson Green's Extreme Bangers. In summary, it's a bit of a mess - but - it's a beautiful, glorious, hilarious mess... and if you're not reduced to at least one convulsion while reading it, Bob and Andy are going to be very disappointed with you. In fact, they might come round to your house and force you to KISS THE ALDERMAN. 'If you like football but despair of its endless, humourless self- importance, you'll love this.' THE GUARDIAN The secret behind Sunderland's recent run of good form has been Howard Wilkinson's unique pre-match team talks, according to an insider. 'They take the form of riddles' says an unnamed player. 'For instance, before our recent hard-fought draw at Anfield, he simply stood up and said "I am fowl but not a bird, I am loud but seldom heard, I am rich but have no clothes, I am stooped but am not old. What am I?"' 'You could have heard a pin drop. After that we just had to get out on the pitch and defend for our lives for ninety minutes.
The number one bestseller and Sunday Times Humour Book of the Year by national treasure Bob Mortimer. ‘The most life-affirming, joyful read of the year’ - Sunday Times ‘Winningly heartfelt’ – The Guardian ‘A triumph’ – Daily Mail Bob Mortimer’s life was trundling along happily until suddenly in 2015 he was diagnosed with a heart condition that required immediate surgery and forced him to cancel an upcoming tour. The episode unnerved him, but forced him to reflect on his life so far. This is the framework for his hilarious and moving memoir, And Away… Although his childhood in Middlesbrough was normal on the surface, it was tinged by the loss of his dad, and his own various misadventures (now infamous from his appearances on Would I Lie to You?), from burning down the family home to starting a short-lived punk band called Dog Dirt. As an adult, he trained as a solicitor and moved to London. Though he was doing pretty well (the South London Press once crowned him ‘The Cockroach King’ after a successful verdict), a chance encounter in a pub in the 1980s with a young comedian going by the name Vic Reeves set his life on a different track. And now, six years on, the heart condition that once threatened his career has instead led to new success on BBC2’s Gone Fishing. Warm, profound, and irrepressibly funny, And Away… is Bob’s full life story (with a few lies thrown in for good measure.)
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