High conflict divorce can leave children polarized within the transitioning family system, aligned with one parent and resisting or refusing contact with the other parent. Rather than becoming mired in the bottomless pit of back and forth blame, more and more courts are seeking remedies in the form of reunification therapy. Charged with helping the polarized child to enjoy a healthy relationship with both parents, we know what doesn't work: individual child therapy cannot remedy a family systems problem. Dyadic interventions with the child and either parent are seldom sufficient. Even family therapies fall short when they are not grounded in well-established, reliable and valid science. Mending Fences introduces a child-centered, systemically informed, empirically-validated and experientially-proven collaborative reunification protocol. Focusing on the anxiety inhibiting the system's healthy functioning, well-respected and long-validated cognitive behavioral exposure methods are fused with structural family therapy to reduce the child's anxieties about separating from one parent and approaching the other, the aligned parent's fears of separation and loss, and the rejected parent's fears of rejection. A common vocabulary across coordinated interventions allows children across the spectrum of ages and abilities to identify and overcome an individually tailored succession of anxiety-inducing events so as to gradually (re-)establish healthy and safe relationships with both parents. The Mending Fences protocol is practical, proven, and effective. Case illustrations, sample court orders and service agreements are included. The user-friendly discussion is peppered with up-to-date references to the scientific literature and international case law. Application via video conferencing platforms is discussed.
Decades of psychological research has taught us that divorce need not harm children. The damage is done when kids are triangulated into adult conflict, with or without the formalities of marriage or divorce. Enlisted as infantrymen in an adult war, these kids are at tremendous risk for serious social, emotional, educational and health concerns. Dr. Benjamin Garber –child psychologist, Guardian ad litem, Parenting Coordinator, national speaker and award winning author- paints the picture of the children triangulated into their caregivers' conflict with bold strokes. This is the first book to present this epidemic of childhood as it exists beyond the legalities of divorce. In doing so, Dr. Garber gives us here-and-now useful strategies with which to improve our co-parenting and to keep our kids out of the middle. Dr. Garber brings his background in child and family development, his expertise as a court-appointed evaluator and his deep compassion for children's wellbeing to the task of helping us to better meet our kids' needs. Keeping Kids Out Of The Middle! gives parents and child-centered professionals alike the tools with which to: Improve child-centered communication even among highly conflicted co-parents Make child-centered decisions about the future of the adult relationship 'Script' adult conflict and family transition so that the kids hear one, consistent message Answer children's painful and provocative questions Create child-centered post-separation and post-divorce parenting plans Recognize and minimize the kids' risk of being adultified, parentified, infantilized and alienated Anticipate and respond to 'visitation' resistance and refusal Keeping Kids Out of the Middle! is both a title and a mandate. Its about the health of the next generation. Keeping Kids Out of the Middle! is required reading in the ancient art of cooperative caregiving.
[T]he best and most useful social science text I have read in a decadeÖ.It is comprehensive in its research and scope, clearly written and uses excellent case studies and examples to illustrate in simple terms what might otherwise be complex phenomena." --Dr. Tom Altobelli Federal Magistrate, Family Law Courts Sydney, Australia The goal of every family law professional and mental health practitioner is to improve family court outcomes in the best interests of the child. This book will assist readers in meeting this critical goal. Developmental Psychology for Family Law Professionals serves as a practical application of developmental theory to the practice of family law. This book helps family law and mental health professionals gain a broader understanding of each child's unique needs when in the midst of family crisis. It presents developmental theories with which professionals might better assess the developmental needs, synchronies, and trajectories of a given child. Ultimately, this book presents guidelines for making appropriate legal decisions and recommendations for children who have experienced crises such as abuse, neglect, relocation, divorce, and much more. Key topics include: Custodial schedules Foster and adoptive care Post-divorce disputes Termination of parental rights Psychological assessment and diagnosis Incarcerated parents and visitation rights Relocation and "distance parenting" Visitation resistance and refusal/reunification Parental Alienation/alignment and estrangement Theories of cognitive, language, and social development
This unique volume and the accompanying forms provide you with ten forensic family evaluation tools ready for immediate use. These tools have been developed by Dr. Benjamin D. Garber over the course of more than twenty years and tempered through the process of treating and evaluating hundreds of high conflict families. Ten Child-Centered Forensic Family Evaluation Tools provides the family law professional with critical means of navigating through the complex and contradictory history and reports that commonly arise in the context of custody-related litigation. These are the tools that have been missing to date, necessary if one hopes to map out the conflicted family's strengths and weaknesses, needs and wishes in an organized, systematic and reliable manner. More than just data collection, Ten Child-Centered Forensic Family Evaluation Tools anchors parent, child and third-party report in the hard data underlying psychology and family law. This volume not only makes Dr. Garber's tools available for immediate use, it provides the reader with up-to-date references to critical areas of inquiry. Responses can thus be interpreted not only by comparison among co-parents, but also by comparison between respondents and the extant literature. Use of these Ten Child-Centered Forensic Family Evaluation Tools secures evaluations in science, buttresses interpretations in empirical data, and anchors the evaluator's testimony in the contemporary literature all to the benefit of none so much as the child. Ten Child-Centered Forensic Family Evaluation Tools is structured into six broad categories. Each begins with an introduction to the general topic, includes an annotated discussion of the instrument(s) being introduced and a select list of references. The tools themselves are laid out page-by-page with critical items highlight and cross-referenced. The accompanying CD-ROM includes all ten tools ready to print and to become the foundation of the professionals' next forensic family evaluation.
The parenting plan worksheet is the conscientious caregiver's only developmentally-informed means of creating a child-centered parenting plan. Sixteen discreet but interlocking modules allow parents singly or together to better understand the intricate decisions that will guide the future allocation of parenting rights and responsibilities. This book, for both parents and professionals, is the guide to using the parenting plan worksheet found at the back. The roadmap dissects the sixteen component modules of the parenting plan worksheet, presenting case law, theory and empirical discussion.
[T]he best and most useful social science text I have read in a decadeÖ.It is comprehensive in its research and scope, clearly written and uses excellent case studies and examples to illustrate in simple terms what might otherwise be complex phenomena." --Dr. Tom Altobelli Federal Magistrate, Family Law Courts Sydney, Australia The goal of every family law professional and mental health practitioner is to improve family court outcomes in the best interests of the child. This book will assist readers in meeting this critical goal. Developmental Psychology for Family Law Professionals serves as a practical application of developmental theory to the practice of family law. This book helps family law and mental health professionals gain a broader understanding of each child's unique needs when in the midst of family crisis. It presents developmental theories with which professionals might better assess the developmental needs, synchronies, and trajectories of a given child. Ultimately, this book presents guidelines for making appropriate legal decisions and recommendations for children who have experienced crises such as abuse, neglect, relocation, divorce, and much more. Key topics include: Custodial schedules Foster and adoptive care Post-divorce disputes Termination of parental rights Psychological assessment and diagnosis Incarcerated parents and visitation rights Relocation and "distance parenting" Visitation resistance and refusal/reunification Parental Alienation/alignment and estrangement Theories of cognitive, language, and social development
Decades of psychological research has taught us that divorce need not harm children. The damage is done when kids are triangulated into adult conflict, with or without the formalities of marriage or divorce. Enlisted as infantrymen in an adult war, these kids are at tremendous risk for serious social, emotional, educational and health concerns. Dr. Benjamin Garber –child psychologist, Guardian ad litem, Parenting Coordinator, national speaker and award winning author- paints the picture of the children triangulated into their caregivers' conflict with bold strokes. This is the first book to present this epidemic of childhood as it exists beyond the legalities of divorce. In doing so, Dr. Garber gives us here-and-now useful strategies with which to improve our co-parenting and to keep our kids out of the middle. Dr. Garber brings his background in child and family development, his expertise as a court-appointed evaluator and his deep compassion for children's wellbeing to the task of helping us to better meet our kids' needs. Keeping Kids Out Of The Middle! gives parents and child-centered professionals alike the tools with which to: Improve child-centered communication even among highly conflicted co-parents Make child-centered decisions about the future of the adult relationship 'Script' adult conflict and family transition so that the kids hear one, consistent message Answer children's painful and provocative questions Create child-centered post-separation and post-divorce parenting plans Recognize and minimize the kids' risk of being adultified, parentified, infantilized and alienated Anticipate and respond to 'visitation' resistance and refusal Keeping Kids Out of the Middle! is both a title and a mandate. Its about the health of the next generation. Keeping Kids Out of the Middle! is required reading in the ancient art of cooperative caregiving.
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