She sat on the driveway, asphalt cold and rough under her fingers, watching the sun come up. What happens after the unthinkable happens? The sun comes up. Again and again and again. Stillbirth is a numbing reality for thousands of families each year, and when Andrea L. Lingle's fourth child stopped moving one October day, she found herself living through just such a reality. Grief is a thoroughgoing despoiler. Nothing, from faith to family, is untouched by the immensity of grief. This is the story of a mother's journey into stillbirth, into grief, into a reluctant sunrise.
Two decades ago, I saw three everywhere. Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Beginning, middle, end. Proton, neutron, electron. Mind, heart, body. Yesterday, today, tomorrow. Mother, father, child. I was settled in three. The triangle is the most stable shape, and my God was entirely stable. Now, I am seeing plus one and it is wrecking me. I am the plus one. You are the plus one. It is the gospel message. The stability of the Trinity has become the rhombus, the square, the diamond, and the trapezoid. And it is beautiful. And now, in this puddle of disorientation, I have found peace in abundance. God is abundant. Life is abundant. Come, cast into the abundant deep.
She sat on the driveway, asphalt cold and rough under her fingers, watching the sun come up. What happens after the unthinkable happens? The sun comes up. Again and again and again. Stillbirth is a numbing reality for thousands of families each year, and when Andrea L. Lingle’s fourth child stopped moving one October day, she found herself living through just such a reality. Grief is a thoroughgoing despoiler. Nothing, from faith to family, is untouched by the immensity of grief. This is the story of a mother’s journey into stillbirth, into grief, into a reluctant sunrise.
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