An outrageously funny satire on modern politics, New Labour and the fine art of spin Alistair Beaton's hilarious play, part farce, part biting satire, is set in the plush seaside hotel of a party conference. As anti-capitalist riots rage in the streets below, sinister and obsessive press secretary Eddie and young speech-writing aide Paul are trying to finalise the PM's conference speech. But Eddie's manipulative skills are to be tested far more by the scandal that George, dim-witted lord and close friend of the PM, gradually reveals - not helped by the arrival of Eddie's ex-wife and investigative journalist, Liz. "Left me sobbing with laughter" (The Times) "Alistair Beaton rediscovers and restores the lost art of political satire in this hilariously timely portrait of new Labour fibbing and deceiving" (Benedict Nightingale, The Times) "Political satire was joyfully restored to the stage last night ... A satirical treat to savour" (Nicholas de Jongh, Evening Standard)
Caledonia is a story of greed, euphoria and mass delusion. It is the story of a small, poor country mistaking itself for a place that is both big and rich. It is an ancient story for modern times. William Paterson was a financial adventurer who in 1698 devised one of the most daring and disastrous speculations of all time. His plan: to found a Scottish colony in Darien on the isthmus of Panama in Central America and turn Scotland, one of the poorest nations in Europe, into a prosperous colonial power. He invited the public to invest. And they did - in a big way. Within weeks a vast proportion of the nation's wealth had been subscribed. What went wrong? Distance, disease, corruption and culpability all played a part in this ruinous episode. Within a few years, the Scots - demoralised and impoverished - gave up their nation's independent status and signed the 1707 Treaty of Union with England. Inspired by documents, journals, letters, songs and poems of the period, celebrated playwright and satirist Alistair Beaton has created a work that is both a tribute to heroic ambition and a darkly witty take on the deceptions and self-deceptions of rich and poor alike. Caledonia will headline the Edinburgh International Festival, in a co-production with the National Theatre of Scotland and directed by Anthony Neilson, opening on 13 August 2010.
A gripping portrait of life in wartime Berlin and a vividly theatrical study of how paranoia can warp a society gripped by the fear of the night-time knock on the door. Based on true events, Hans Fallada's Alone In Berlin follows a quietly courageous couple, Otto and Anna Quangel who, in dealing with their own heartbreak, stand up to the brutal reality of the Nazi regime. With the smallest of acts, they defy Hitler's rule with extraordinary bravery, facing the gravest of consequences. Translated and Adapted by Alistair Beaton (Feelgood, The Trial Of Tony Blair), this timely story of the moral power of personal resistance sees the Gestapo launch a massive hunt for the perpetrators and Otto and Anna finding themselves players in a deadly game of cat and mouse. This edition was published to coincide with the world premiere at Royal and Derngate Theatre in February 2020.
It is sad that the original meaning of bollocks has been corrupted for in this little book lies profound wisdom. After all, size is not everything. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself treats. Leave little love letters to yourself around the house where you can discover them by chance when hoovering. Start your new life now. Don't read the T-shirt. Buy this book. 144 insights that will change your life.
Showing the same incisive wit and gift for parody that he displayed to such effect in the bestselling THE LITTLE BOOK OF COMPLETE BOLLOCKS, Alistair Beaton now takes on the might of Millbank by exposing the truth behind the spin. By examining closely the speeches of Labour's top politicos he first shows what they said and then reveals what they meant... WHAT HE SAID: The Internet is dissolving physical barriers and levelling the business playing field. (Tony Blair, speech at Knowledge 2000 Conference, 25.03.00) WHAT HE MEANT: I sometimes have trouble with my metaphors. WHAT THEY SAID: Labour has taken action to improve rail safety. (Labour Party Centennial Document, 28.03.00) WHAT THEY MEANT: That nice man from Railtrack bought us lunch and promised us there was nothing to worry about.
Showing the same incisive and outrageous wit as in his previous books, where he first took on the self-help craze then New Labour's addiction to spin, Alistair Beaton now tackles the management gurus. Read this book and you will be transformed overnight into a successful modern manager, capable of talking authentic management bollocks at any hour of the day or night, because, let's face it, talking bollocks is what modern management is all about. Below are a few of the gems contained within THE LITTLE BOOK OF MANAGEMENT BOLLOCKS...RISK MANAGEMENT Improve risk management outcomes by never investing in anything. INSPIRING OTHERS As a manager, it's your job to inspire others. If there's nothing inspiring about you, just use fear instead.
Fires are becoming something of a problem. But Biedermann has it all under control. He's a respected member of the community with a loving wife and a flourishing business, so surely nothing can get to him. The great philanthropist is happy to meet his civic duty by giving shelter to two new guests but when they start filling his attic with petrol drums, will he help them light the fuse? Max Frisch's parable about appeasement is given its first major UK revival since its Royal Court premiere in 1961, which was directed by Lindsay Anderson. The play is published as a programme text for the production that runs from 1 November - 15 December on the main stage at the Royal Court.
How would you feel about sitting in front of that nice old village pub on a sunny afternoon while convoys of 40-ton tankers roll past six feet away? Deerland Energy's plans to drill for shale gas in the pretty village of Fenstock are going well. The company is looking at big profits. They can count on the support of distinguished scientists working in university departments funded by the energy companies while at local level, Councillor Pilbeam, Chair of the Planning Committee, seems to be open to lucrative offers. The only slight snag is a ragged band of protesters, reluctantly led by retired academic Elizabeth Blackwood. Surely she's just another 'mad old biddy', as she's characterised by ruthless PR guru Joe Selby. This new razor-sharp black comedy by Alistair Beaton takes a timely look at the conflicted core of planetary energy and earthly power. Fracked! received its world premiere at the Chichester's Minerva Theatre on 8 July 2016.
Truly brilliant' - Matthew Parris, Times columnist If any event in recent British history has spawned more bollocks than Brexit, it is hard to remember when. Now, in a successor volume to the perennial bestsellers The Little Book of Complete Bollocks and The Little Book of Management Bollocks, comes the definitive and hilarious insight into what politicians really mean when they talk about Brexit. We know all the phrases - 'Orderly Departure', 'Crashing Out', 'Remoaners' and many more - but in The Little Book of Brexit Bollocks all is finally made crystal clear by authors Alistair Beaton and Tom Mitchelson. They reveal which notorious politician devised the term 'Ever Closer Union', and what he was actually talking about; one daily newspaper branded three High Court judges 'Enemies of the People', but this book reveals who the true enemies are. So whether you believe Nigel Farage is a national hero or a national embarrassment, this book will finally bring some cheer and relief from the agony of Brexit as we head into the Transition Period (which in the end may outlast us all).
To paraphrase Alistair Beaton's Caledonia - the first play in this collection - 'The English have anthologies, the Spanish have anthologies, the French have anthologies . . . why should not Scotland have its anthology?' Scotland is entering a crucial period in its history, where its identity is being debated daily, from everyday conversation to the national and international press. At the same time, its theatre is resurgent, with key Scottish playwrights, theatres and theatre companies expanding their performance vocabularies while coming to prominence in national and international contexts. Caledonia is a tale of hubris and delusion, portraying a crucial slice of Scotland's history and its foray into imperial colonialism told with dark humour and creative flair, by award-winning playwright and satirist Alistair Beaton. Bullet Catch, by Rob Drummond, is a unique theatrical experience exploring the world of magic, featuring mind-reading, levitation, and the most notorious finale in show business. Morna Pearson's The Artist Man and the Mother Woman is a wickedly funny, deceptively simple, surreal portrait of a spectacularly dysfunctional relationship. Rantin', by Kieran Hurley draws on storytelling, live music and an unapologetically haphazard take on Scottish folk tradition, in an attempt to stitch together fragmented stories to reveal a botched patchwork of a nation. First performed at the Royal Court in 2013, Narrative by Anthony Neilson is a theatrical exploration of the the boundaries and possibilities of storytelling. Featuring plays from Alistair Beaton, Rob Drummond, Morna Pearson, Kieran Hurley and Anthony Neilson, this collection is edited by Dr. Trish Reid, a leading critical voice on Scottish theatre.
This is a story written over a decade ago. Before Fake News, or Alternative Facts, or even social media. It told the story of a not-too-distant future, which really was not too distant. * The President of the United States is facing a global catastrophe. The environment is in meltdown. People are dying. Americans are dying. Even he can't ignore it. There's hardly a corner of the world that isn't in crisis. And that's when he's persuaded of a truth his advisers hold to be self-evident: That it's time to think the unthinkable. The problem isn't power, or politics, or the planet, or the President. It's the People. * Hilarious and horrifying - this enormously entertaining satire has never been more razor-sharp, revelatory or relevant. What readers are saying about this hilarious, critically acclaimed novel: 'For anyone who likes laughs and thrills in one package and who's been following recent developments in the White House this is an absolute must.' Amazon Reviewer, 5 stars 'This political and satirical novel manages to be both thrilling and funny. And, given its prescience, scary too. The characters, the setting and the plot are fantastic and believable. A real page turner.' Amazon Reviewer,5 stars 'A frighteningly plausible thriller, which imagines what might happen if the White House were finally to believe that something had to be done about global warming ... clever, funny and a really good read.' Amazon Reviewer, 5 stars 'This thriller is packed with good jokes and tells a tale that is utterly credible. Parts were jaw-droppingly frightening and I wished I could have put it down but thesharp humour and pacey plot made me keep reading. It's a laugh and a chiller in one book.' Amazon Reviewer,5 stars
Son of a Highlander is the true story of the author, a third-generation Australian of Scottish Highland descent discovering his ancestral history over eight generations, from father to son. This is a search for authenticity of a verbal story handed down over a two-hundred-year period, along with a 1797 penny and a collection of photos and correspondence that are one hundred years old, which were from his late grandfathers old tattered leather case. The author descended from the Clan MacLeodClan meaning Children in Scottish Gaelic, Mac meaning son in Gaelic, and the Leod derived from the Viking era; it basically means children of the son of Leod. The family originated from a small two-acre semisubsistent existence on the Isle of Skye in far western Scotland. The Macleod Clan was once a warrior race that feuded with neighboring clans in the most bloodiest of warfare. A clan system of traditions and culture that lasted hundreds of years that eventually came to an end with the notorious Highland Clearance, whereby thousands of people were evicted from their lands and replaced by sheep. With the mass exodus of people, some forcibly left while others left in desperation. This book is the history of one Highland family who survived a dangerous sailing journey to Australia only to continue their struggle against adversity on foreign soil. A search for the whereabouts of a Gaelic-speaking great-great-grandfather to discover he was sent to an island off the Australian coast, where he eventually died and was buried in a paupers grave along with 8,500 souls, whose only crime was that they were poor. This book is a must read for anyone wishing to trace their own ancestral history. It will inspire you and encourage you toward your own personal voyage of discovery.
It is 31st December 1999. For the staff of Globelink News it's an uncertain and terrifying world. The civil war in Switzerland is intensifying, and Prime Minister David Mellor is stressing family values. And the editor of Globelink News, George Dent, has just found a dead body in the lift.
A look at style and urbanism, offering a reconsideration of the role of fashion in city life and filling in overlooked gaps in the history of London and modern design.
From Duke Ellington to Churchill Downs, championship golf to Greta Garbo, Alistair Cooke reports on the popular sports and entertainments he loved the most This delightful anthology, drawn from Alistair Cooke’s Letter from America BBC broadcasts as well as his reporting for the Guardian, showcases the legendary journalist’s wide range of sporting pleasures, which include golf, tennis, baseball, and horse racing, and records memorable fun he had with favorite movies, theater productions, and jazz performances. Included here are perceptive portraits of sports personalities such as Gabriela Sabatini, Arnold Palmer, and Sugar Ray Robinson, whom Cooke regarded as the best fighter in the history of boxing. “A Mountain Comes to Muhammad” captures Muhammad Ali in victory; “Come-Uppance for the ‘Onliest Champion’ ” portrays him in defeat. A “Revised (Soviet) History of Baseball” humorously details Russian misconceptions about America’s pastime, a.k.a. beizbol. In “The Road to Churchill Downs,” Cooke captures the sights and sounds of Kentucky’s crown jewel and delights in the joy that his young daughter, Susan, who appears with her father on the cover of this edition, takes in the sport of kings. Sharing the spotlight are celebrities of the Hollywood variety, including Gary Cooper, John Wayne, Groucho Marx, and Charlie Chaplin. Filled with Cooke’s infectious enthusiasm for fun and games of wide variety, the lighter side of the legendary journalist’s output will be enjoyed by devotees of popular culture.
The Holy Grail, the kingdom of Camelot, The Knights of the Round Table and the magical sword Excalibur are all key ingredients of the legends surrounding King Arthur. But who was he really, where did he come from, and how much of what we read about him in stories that date back to the Dark Ages is true? So far historians have failed to show that King Arthur really existed at all, for a good reason - they have been looking in the wrong place. In this fascinating and thought-provoking book, Alistair Moffat shatters all existing assumptions about Britain's most enigmatic hero. With reference to literary sources and historical documents, to archaeology and the ancient names of rivers, hills and forts, he strips away a thousand years of myth to unveil the real King Arthur. And in doing so he solves one of the greatest riddles of them all - the site of Camelot itself.
From the early fourteenth century to the end of the sixteenth, the Anglo-Scottish borderlands witnessed one of the most intense periods of warfare and disorder ever seen in modern Europe. As a consequence of near-constant conflict between England and Scotland, Borderers suffered at the hands of marauding armies, who ravaged the land, destroying crops, slaughtering cattle, burning settlements and killing indiscriminately. Forced by extreme circumstances, many Borderers took to reiving to ensure the survival of their families and communities, and for the best part of 300 years, countless raiding parties made their way over the border. The story of the Reivers is one of survival, stealth, treachery, ingenuity and deceit, expertly brought to life in Alistair Moffat's acclaimed book.
A look at style and urbanism, offering a reconsideration of the role of fashion in city life and filling in overlooked gaps in the history of London and modern design.
Showing the same incisive and outrageous wit as in his previous books, where he first took on the self-help craze then New Labour's addiction to spin, Alistair Beaton now tackles the management gurus. Read this book and you will be transformed overnight into a successful modern manager, capable of talking authentic management bollocks at any hour of the day or night, because, let's face it, talking bollocks is what modern management is all about. Below are a few of the gems contained within THE LITTLE BOOK OF MANAGEMENT BOLLOCKS...RISK MANAGEMENT Improve risk management outcomes by never investing in anything. INSPIRING OTHERS As a manager, it's your job to inspire others. If there's nothing inspiring about you, just use fear instead.
A doctor in a small town in Scotland, Peter Ashe has been exploited by his senior partner for seventeen years. When, suddenly, the older man dies Peter and his wife Elizabeth welcome their chance to enjoy life with their two children like any other family. But the arrival of Jacky Carstairs and her sister Anne introduces new and unexpected complications. With Jacky, Peter establishes a curiously delicate relationship which goes beyond the strange intimacy of doctor and patient in the face of death. His attachment to Anne is an extension of this bond; and it also brings home to him the truth that he has reached middle age. Elizabeth understands her husband's dilemma but cannot help him; their children, young adults determined to break the restraints of childhood, stretch their parents' tolerance to the limit. As the tension within the Ashe family mounts to near tragedy, the human demands of the close-knit community are told with great sympathy and skill.
In this book, Alistair Moffat brings vividly to life the story of this great nation, from the dawn of prehistory through to the twenty-first century. Ambitious, richly detailed and highly readable, Scotland: A History From Earliest Times skilfully weaves together a dazzling array of fact and anecdote from a vast range of sources. The result is an imaginative, informative, balanced and varied portrait of Scotland, seen not just through the experience of the kings, saints, warriors, aristocrats and politicians who populate the pages of conventional history books, but also through that of ordinary people who have lived Scotland's history and have played their own important part in shaping its destiny.
To paraphrase Alistair Beaton's Caledonia - the first play in this collection - 'The English have anthologies, the Spanish have anthologies, the French have anthologies . . . why should not Scotland have its anthology?' Scotland is entering a crucial period in its history, where its identity is being debated daily, from everyday conversation to the national and international press. At the same time, its theatre is resurgent, with key Scottish playwrights, theatres and theatre companies expanding their performance vocabularies while coming to prominence in national and international contexts. Caledonia is a tale of hubris and delusion, portraying a crucial slice of Scotland's history and its foray into imperial colonialism told with dark humour and creative flair, by award-winning playwright and satirist Alistair Beaton. Bullet Catch, by Rob Drummond, is a unique theatrical experience exploring the world of magic, featuring mind-reading, levitation, and the most notorious finale in show business. Morna Pearson's The Artist Man and the Mother Woman is a wickedly funny, deceptively simple, surreal portrait of a spectacularly dysfunctional relationship. Rantin', by Kieran Hurley draws on storytelling, live music and an unapologetically haphazard take on Scottish folk tradition, in an attempt to stitch together fragmented stories to reveal a botched patchwork of a nation. First performed at the Royal Court in 2013, Narrative by Anthony Neilson is a theatrical exploration of the the boundaries and possibilities of storytelling. Featuring plays from Alistair Beaton, Rob Drummond, Morna Pearson, Kieran Hurley and Anthony Neilson, this collection is edited by Dr. Trish Reid, a leading critical voice on Scottish theatre.
Uncover the story of Scotland with Alistair Moffat's history collection. From the Ice Age to the modern day, this bundle leaves no stone unturned. Journey through the long-lost kingdoms of Roman times and the Dark Ages, uncover the bloodshed wrought by the Border Reivers for two centuries, track down the true King Arthur, and learn the true story of how Scotland became the nation it is today. 'Moffat plunders the facts and fables to create a richly-detailed and comprehensive analysis of a nation's past' – Scots Magazine Titles included in this bundle are: The Faded Map Arthur and the Lost Kingdoms The Reivers Scotland: A History From Earliest Times
Few published collections of Gaelic song place the songs or their singers and communities in context. Brìgh an Òrain - A Story in Every Song corrects this, showing how the inherited art of a fourth-generation Canadian Gael fits within biographical, social, and historical contexts. It is the first major study of its kind to be undertaken for a Scottish Gaelic singer. The forty-eight songs and nine folktales in the collection are transcribed from field recordings and presented as the singer performed them, with an English translation provided. All the songs are accompanied by musical transcriptions. The book also includes a brief autobiography in Lauchie MacLellan's entertaining narrative style. John Shaw has added extensive notes and references, as well as photos and maps. In an era of growing appreciation of Celtic cultures, Brìgh an Òrain - A Story in Every Song makes an important Gaelic tradition available to the general reader. The materials also serve as a unique, adaptable resource for those with more specialized research or teaching interests in ethnology/folklore, Canadian studies, Gaelic language, ethnomusicology, Celtic studies, anthropology, and social history.
People find me. When it's dark. 1863. An asylum. A woman locked in a windowless cell, with no memory as to who she is, or how she arrived there. When spiritualist medium Mrs Lyall requires a new assistant, this nameless woman seems the perfect candidate. But as the woman's past begins to reveal itself, so do new powers neither are prepared for. Alistair McDowall's haunting new play The Glow was the 2018 Pinter Commission, an award given annually by Lady Antonia Fraser to support a new commission at the Royal Court Theatre. This edition was published to coincide with the world premiere at London's Royal Court Theatre in January 2022.
This book is a beautiful and dramatic collection of Celtic praise, compiled by Church of Scotland minister and Gaelic scholar Alistair Maclean, which was first published in 1937. It comprises over one hundred prayers, poems, sayings, and praises from the Christian tradition of the author's native Hebrides.
Son of a Highlander is the true story of the author, a third-generation Australian of Scottish Highland descent discovering his ancestral history over eight generations, from father to son. This is a search for authenticity of a verbal story handed down over a two-hundred-year period, along with a 1797 penny and a collection of photos and correspondence that are one hundred years old, which were from his late grandfathers old tattered leather case. The author descended from the Clan MacLeodClan meaning Children in Scottish Gaelic, Mac meaning son in Gaelic, and the Leod derived from the Viking era; it basically means children of the son of Leod. The family originated from a small two-acre semisubsistent existence on the Isle of Skye in far western Scotland. The Macleod Clan was once a warrior race that feuded with neighboring clans in the most bloodiest of warfare. A clan system of traditions and culture that lasted hundreds of years that eventually came to an end with the notorious Highland Clearance, whereby thousands of people were evicted from their lands and replaced by sheep. With the mass exodus of people, some forcibly left while others left in desperation. This book is the history of one Highland family who survived a dangerous sailing journey to Australia only to continue their struggle against adversity on foreign soil. A search for the whereabouts of a Gaelic-speaking great-great-grandfather to discover he was sent to an island off the Australian coast, where he eventually died and was buried in a paupers grave along with 8,500 souls, whose only crime was that they were poor. This book is a must read for anyone wishing to trace their own ancestral history. It will inspire you and encourage you toward your own personal voyage of discovery.
In this acclaimed book, Alistair Moffat tells the story of a part of Scotland that has played a huge role in the nation's history and moved poets, painters and writers as well as ordinary people for hundreds of years. The hunter-gatherers who first penetrated the virgin interior, the Celtic warlords, the Romans, the Northumbrians and the Reivers, who dominated the Anglo-Scottish borderlands for over 300 years, have all had their part to play in the constantly evolving life of the area. It is the people of a place that make its history and Alistair Moffat's book is a testament to those who have made the Borders their home, and who have created the traditions, myths and romance that define it so strongly.
Drawing together the work of 10 leading playwrights, this National Theatre Connections anthology features work by some of the most exciting and established contemporary playwrights. Gathered together in one volume, the plays collected offer young performers between the ages of 13 and 19 an engaging selection of material to perform, read or study. Each play has been specifically commissioned by the National Theatre's literary department with the young performer in mind. The anthology contains 10 play scripts; notes from the writer and director of each play, addressing the themes and ideas behind the play; and production notes and exercises for the drama groups. This year's anniversary anthology includes plays by Suhayla El-Bushra, Anders Lustgarten, Robin French, Tim Etchells, Patrick Marber, Kellie Smith, Lizzie Nunnery, Harriet Braun and Alistair McDowall.
Modern Playhouses is the first detailed study of the major programme of theatre-building which took place in Britain between the 1950s and the 1980s. Drawing on a vast range of archival material - much of which had never previously been studied by historians - it sets architecture in a wide social and cultural context, presenting the history of post-war theatre buildings as a history of ideas relating not only to performance but also to culture, citizenship, and the modern city. During this period, more than sixty major new theatres were constructed in locations from Plymouth to Inverness, Aberystwyth to Ipswich. The most prominent example was the National Theatre in London, but the National was only the tip of the iceberg. Supported in many cases by public subsidies, these buildings represented a new kind of theatre, conceived as a public service. Theatre was ascribed a transformative role, serving as a form of 'productive' recreation at a time of increasing affluence and leisure. New theatres also contributed to debates about civic pride, urbanity, and community. Ultimately, theatre could be understood as a vehicle for the creation of modern citizens in a consciously modernizing Britain. Yet while recognizing, as contemporaries did, that the new theatres of the post war decades represented change, Modern Playhouses also asks how radically different these buildings really were, and what their 'mainstream' architecture reveals of the history of modern British architecture, and of post-war Britain.
Alistair Moffat tells the extraordinary story of the Highlands in the most detailed book ever written about this remarkable part of Scotland. This is the story of the Highlands and Islands of Scotland as it has never been told before. From the formation of the landscape millions of years ago to the twenty-first century, it brings to life the events and the people who have shaped Highland history, from saints, sinners and outlaws to monarchs, clan chiefs and warriors. Highly readable and informative, it mines a wide range of sources including medieval manuscripts and sagas, poetry and popular culture. Picts, Romans, Irish missionaries, Vikings, Jacobites and the flood of emigrants who left to forge new lives abroad are just some of the important players in the drama. As he paints the bigger picture, Alistair Moffat also introduces many key aspects of Highland culture and explores the experience of ordinary Highlanders and Islanders over thousands of years.
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