In this in-depth, warts & all biography, die-hard fan Aubrey Malone examines scarlet pimpernel White's background, illiteracy, drinking, tempestuous relationship with his wife Maureen and his incredible rise to the top of snooker's pantheon of heroes in its halcyon era, the 1980s.
Did you hear about the man who mixed up his Viagra with his constipation pills? He didn't know if he was coming or going." ?Ted Fitzpatrick "A woman walked into a pub and asked for a double entendre, so the barman gave her one." ?Bob Monkhouse "I've had more hands up under my dress than the Muppets." ?Joan Rivers Do you find an innuendo in everything? Have you ever giggled uncontrollably on hearing the words "willy" or "orgasm"? Then this miscellany of risqué ripostes and smutty smart-cracks is bound to bring a glow to your cheeks. Featuring hundreds of hand-picked lines from wicked writers and cheeky comedians, Naughty Wit is not for the easily embarrassed?but will bring hours of naughty pleasure. You'll never be at a loss for a blushingly wicked witticism.
I don't think we're going to get an award tonight. I would hedge my bets and say no." ?Carol Decker "I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." ?Ron Atkinson "I'm for a stronger death penalty." ?George Bush They say if you swallow poison you should take an anecdote. Well, this vast suppository of mindless malapropisms and senseless spoonerisms is bound to leave your abdominal muscles aching. If you've ever suffered from a case of foot-in-mouth syndrome, then this compendium of silliness is just for you. And it's not just the pop stars and George Bushes of this world who are prone to half-witted gaffes?even the literary greats have been known to make the most hilarious faux pas. Split your sides over other people's stupidity. This is one book you won't be able to illiterate from your memory.
A book of hundreds of quotations by women covering a diverse range of subject matter and biographical revelations, offering opinions on everything from age, beauty and size, to the shortcomings and (occasional) advantages of men. The speakers are all female (with the exception of Anon., although many believe he was female too). Includes: "I'm at the age where my back goes out more than I do." "Love is blind, which is why it has such a keen sense of touch." "Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills." "Bigamy is having one husband too many; monogamy is the same thing.
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